Highlights of My Day
1. Dreamt I invented a font type named "hairy," in which each letter appeared as it would if it were shaved on the back of a hairy man
2. Realized I should probably contact the people at Guinness after a co-worker took what appeared to be the "largest dump of all time"
3. Considered what living in a ginger bread house would do for my sex life
4. Witnessed the worst attempt in the history of parrallel parking...pointed, laughed and continued on with my day
5. Discovered I get a slight twitch in my left eye whenever co-workers ask me to do something that sounds like it would suck worse than dying
6. Wondered when the CEO will read the comment I dropped in the comment box... "I think some exotic dancers would really liven this place up."
7. Tried to figure out how many licks it would take to get to the point where your tongue falls off
8. Made a profile on e-harmony in which I stated I was looking for a "partner in crime", I then went on in blunt detail as to which type of crimes I was looking to commit
9. About lost it when I heard the hostess at our resturant say, "Rimjob, party of two? Your table is ready."
10. Purposely fell asleep with the National Geographic Channel on to see if I'd dream about those weird tribal woman's banana boobs
Fart Flavor of the Day: Lemon Meringue Pie in the middle of a pig farm
2. Realized I should probably contact the people at Guinness after a co-worker took what appeared to be the "largest dump of all time"
3. Considered what living in a ginger bread house would do for my sex life
4. Witnessed the worst attempt in the history of parrallel parking...pointed, laughed and continued on with my day
5. Discovered I get a slight twitch in my left eye whenever co-workers ask me to do something that sounds like it would suck worse than dying
6. Wondered when the CEO will read the comment I dropped in the comment box... "I think some exotic dancers would really liven this place up."
7. Tried to figure out how many licks it would take to get to the point where your tongue falls off
8. Made a profile on e-harmony in which I stated I was looking for a "partner in crime", I then went on in blunt detail as to which type of crimes I was looking to commit
9. About lost it when I heard the hostess at our resturant say, "Rimjob, party of two? Your table is ready."
10. Purposely fell asleep with the National Geographic Channel on to see if I'd dream about those weird tribal woman's banana boobs
Fart Flavor of the Day: Lemon Meringue Pie in the middle of a pig farm
posted by immixmarketer at 12:01 AM
83 Comments:
You do realize I have a slight advantage at being first, right?
ulhjot
the sound I make when I thought a fart was gonna come out...but a little more came too.
mmm...banana boobs..
I seriously did NOT appreciate your laughing at my parking fiasco.... c'mon man, it's tough....
That font sounds just nasty. If I saw it, I would have to invent a font called wax.
Perhaps it's more a font for retards to use when shaving words on the back of their heads.
Reminds of a friend of a friend who had the word Queen shaved into his head - he was a fan of the band and was off to see them (post Freddie) in concert.
As if that wasn't bad enough - labelling yourself Queen - the hair around the letter N grew back weird and he ended up with the word Queer shaved into his head.
He deserved to be beaten to death, your honour.
purplesimon out...
Wow. That was fuckin' funny.
Like a retard gettin ran over.
No wait. The retard gettin ran over is more entertaining than this blog is.
Tool.
Well, how many licks does it take? I"m kinda curious
Can't wait to see how many licks it takes.
I think a gingerbread house would be extremely erotic.
Keg Says: If you tap it, they will come. ;o)
Peace!
Excellent blog my son. I enjoy it thoroughly. You are truly one of my finest creations...
hmmmmmm,.... yes I'm considering what #7 would do for your sex life, but if I had my choice of location for the gingerbread house, it would definately be on the graham cracker roof or against the the pretzel stick fence!! I hope not to get green coconut grass stains on my clothing..
Number 7 depends on what you are licking. Afterwards, it may be necessary to call Guinness and let them know that, too.
that hairy-backed man pic made me throw up in my mouth a little...
but #8 made me LOL... sounds like something I would do... er... um... that is... if i ever got desperate enough to put my profile up on eharmony... also reminded me of a website I came across... www.ecarny.com... pretty freakin' funny.
is it just me, or do these frickin' word verifications just keep getting longer and longer???
ok dude my and taylor still want to know is you hot and sinece you havent told us im thinking ill remind you every day and i like the hairy font... i had a dream i learned to play trombone, zach a.k.a. rat burned down my negibors house and trevor a.k.a. putt gave me the answers to my math homework and then i made out with this hot dude from vermont but i am never inspierd
I dont know about the gingerbread house, but your tongue falling off should put a BIG crimp in your sex life.
ubcwlxe--sounds like Im trying to pick up a dude and I dont have a tongue.
Isn't that a shart?
I'm so glad you are back, it makes me nip out.
LMAO!
Ummmmm....pleasant dreams?
I had some of my earliest funny tickle-feelings in my tum tum (age 8) thanks to the National Geographic Society.
Has it occured to anyone that both the 'almighty' god and the 'bad' god are commenting here?
Bry- What are you up to? Are you some kinda wierd cosmic middleground/play land blogger?
**Twilight Zone Theme**
Okay I'm LMAO but I have 2 know. Brian, please tell us how in the world you know how large your co-workers dump was...were u peeping?
sujuxqo:
the sound of your co-workers dump exiting and right before entering the toilet water. EWWWWWWWWWWW....YUK
Uh, yeah.....
Why were you even looking at the co-workers dump long enought to see how big it was?
'Cause....you know....you've got some issues if you stare at other's unflushed poo.
*fhkzs*
is my verification swearing at me or telling me what I should do?
When a little more comes out when you fart it's called a shart. Don't you know anything??!! LOL
Go go go! Patent Hairy!
holy cow..ure hilarious dude
=D
I'm confused...when did I say anything about sharting?
I so just clicked to see how 'dumbass' was and hurt my head. . .
That was so rude. . .
But awfully clever!
I think a gingerbread house would be great if you were a paedophile looking for a bit of Hanzel and Gretal action.
I started giggling in the middle of class when I read #9... that's so classic.
Great blog, I love reading it. :P
you mean you didn't COMPLETELY lose it when you heard "rimjob"??? that's the thing that is guaranteed to make me pee my pants laughing (to the dismay of my boyfriend. no, i will NOT grow up!)
word ver. is pretty tame today. phlxe. borrrring.
Just wanted to see my profile pic on your comment page!! Vain, I know. Just can't help myself!
what's scary (or totally cool) about the e-harmony one is that someone will probably respond, whole-heartedly.
tzwptfib
what you hear when the hamster is accidently sucked up by the vacuum hose
#3: Sweet!
word verication: wreselsn
Advice from Miagi to the Karate Kid when he goes WWF!
Yep.
This blog is still retarded.
Don't say I didn't tell you.
Thats great. Exoctic dancers at work.
That girl Tiffany above me is hot.
Your blog reminds me of having sex with an old lady.
Except not as satisfying.
And at least she paid me.
And she's more masculine.
And has a smaller snatch.
Fart Flavor of the Day: Banal blog mixed with overinflated ego
Fart jokes are like mimes:
Easier to appreciate when you're blind and deaf, and/or retarded, or (of course) French.
Formats are like colons:
Better when blown out with a high pressure saline wash.
Highlights are like 3-Day old tuna:
Fondly remembered, but not always worth sharing.
Pondering one's potential sex life is like tampons:
For pussies.
BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This blog totally sucks.
Wait for it.
Wait for it!!!
What's that I'm hearing? It's the silence right before the...
OH SNAP!!!
I hear that fried monkey balls are a delicacy in Thailand. Is this true?
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall...
I'm just sayin'.
yo, the only time you get ass is when your finger pokes through the toilet paper! this blog is horrible.
This blog smells more than Phyllis Diller's rusty twat!
suX0rz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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You Sir, are less than couth. Uncouth even. Go suck a race horse's dick with heinz tomato ketchup.
RANDOM DOES NOT EQUAL FUNNY.
OH SHIT. MY CAPSLOCK KEY IS BROKEN!!!
MY WORD VERIFICATION: YOUSUCK
what quirky little observations! you seem almost funny enough to write for Howie Mandel!
fart humor on every post. your origionality astounds me! maybe one day you could expand your "gift" to include things that are actually amusing
Yeehaaaa!!!!!!!!!!
Banana boobs? You can do better than that.
I'd Phyllis her Diller!
You know what i'm talking about!!!
You're a douchebag.
Wait, that's an insult to a typical douchebag.
You're Courtney Love's douchebag after spending the night with Carrot top.
you are the santorum stains on the blogosphere's sheets.
you should be ashamed of yourself!
Only a man wearing clogs would write a blog like that.
This blog sucks fried monkey balls...
I'm just sayin'.
Note the repetition in my comments... repetition is not funny. Not funny.
Whoa. Now my word verification really is:
czulfrdasux
Fart Flavor? Do you sit there in some sort of whack-ass yoga position and fart into your mouth? wtf?
Shit man.
I was thinking about carving the alphabet one someone's back last night.
you are right monkey... repetition isn't funny...
unless it is to insult blogs.
then its hilarious
you are right larin and monkey... repetition isn't funny...
unless it is to insult blogs.
then its hilarious
Yeah - I've had big dumps after a Guiness but they had a freaky likeness to someone you know.
My guess is a Gingerbread house would improve it.
you are right monkey, larin and tasty... repetition isn't funny...
unless it is to insult blogs.
then its hilarious
this blog sucks my weenis.
I liken this blog to jodifosterturkeybaster's underwear.
It smells like shit, and tastes like it too.
you are right monkey, larin, tasty and monkey... repetition isn't funny...
unless it is to insult blogs.
then its hilarious
10 minutes of insults make me hard!
Geez, I don't know what everybody's problem is. I think your blog is pretty funny. Of course, I also think Jay Leno monologues are hilarious. Boy, he sure does like to make fun of that O.J.
But this blog is almost as funny as Leno.
Damn, just like what happened with Lou Reed.
Can I season your head and use it like a giant ham for Christmas? It's probably of little use to you..
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
WOW!! This is the most hate posts I have seen on your blog yet! That guy who said you were almost as funny as Leno, now that was just low.
suck my clit you bastard.
Lou Reed loves this blog more than he loves his drugs.
i'd enter this blog through the ass if it had one.
then me and lou reed would enjoy some drugs in celebration.
too bad your blog isn't a chick, because i would fondle its gazongas...
Funny stuff - I think I was at the same restaurant as that Rimjob guy . . . oh wait that was a joke.
:)
Ben O.
WOW!
There an awful lot of "Casual" haters out there!
Well, hear this: "Casual" Haters SUCK!
Yeah thats right! I said it and I meant it!
Brian is still really hawt, clogs or not!
holy shit, a lot of people hate this blog now. where the hell'd all this come from. btw, we think it sucks too.
Muse for your next post. . .
http://pansifiles.blogspot.com/
OMG! I LOVE This blog! I look for new posts ALL THE TIME! Brian, don't leave us!!!! Fuck the haters... WE LOVE YOU!!!!
wait, is it too late for me to strongly dislike this blog? Mainly I don't like the color scheme, but I'm flexible.
who are all these assholes who feel free to go on someone's blog and insult them? really.
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