Highlights of My Day
2. Considered what owning a mint-condition Nintendo with PowerPad would do for my sex life
3. Asked a worker in Starbucks if he could point me to the nearest Eiffel Tower
4. Added to his confusion by quickly demanding an M&M Blizzard with sprinkles
5. Pretended to be on my cell phone asking somebody on the other end how to wipe my ass, when a co-worker entered the stall next to me..."Did you say I wipe back to front? Or front to back?"
6. Called up to the HR department to find out if question #5 on my 2006 employee health benefits form, "Do you smoke?" meant cigarettes or "like other stuff"
7. Wondered if anyone would be offended if I show up on Halloween dressed as a hurricane victim (will require lugging around a bucket of water to dump on myself every 10 minutes)
8. Shattered last months numbers by only being spotted twice scratching my balls in public
9. Dreamt I was Janet Jackson's secret daughter...err, huh?
10. Realized even at the age of 24, I still like to spin globes and pretend wherever my finger is when it stops is where I will live....Go Madagascar!
Fart Flavor of the Day: Warm Apple Cider with a splash of ashtrey
Sorry for the 3 weeks with no post...I've been held hostage and forced to wear a sweater vest and tie....SOS!