Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Friday, November 04, 2005

Highlights of My Day

1. Dreamt I invented a font type named "hairy," in which each letter appeared as it would if it were shaved on the back of a hairy man
2. Realized I should probably contact the people at Guinness after a co-worker took what appeared to be the "largest dump of all time"
3. Considered what living in a ginger bread house would do for my sex life
4. Witnessed the worst attempt in the history of parrallel parking...pointed, laughed and continued on with my day
5. Discovered I get a slight twitch in my left eye whenever co-workers ask me to do something that sounds like it would suck worse than dying
6. Wondered when the CEO will read the comment I dropped in the comment box... "I think some exotic dancers would really liven this place up."
7. Tried to figure out how many licks it would take to get to the point where your tongue falls off
8. Made a profile on e-harmony in which I stated I was looking for a "partner in crime", I then went on in blunt detail as to which type of crimes I was looking to commit
9. About lost it when I heard the hostess at our resturant say, "Rimjob, party of two? Your table is ready."
10. Purposely fell asleep with the National Geographic Channel on to see if I'd dream about those weird tribal woman's banana boobs

Fart Flavor of the Day: Lemon Meringue Pie in the middle of a pig farm