Highlights of My Day
1. Had a dream that I co-stared in an after school special with Tiffany Brissette aka Vicky from Small Wonder
2. Celebrated the 7th consecutive year that old people eating soup is my #1 pet-peeve
3. Conducted a blind taste test and found that I prefer the generic version of Lucky Charms over the brand name, however I chose Pepsi over the generic pop (aka: soda, cola, or aka "Coke" by hillbillies)
4. Pissed off a large amout of hillbillies, but won them back by downloading the Dukes of Hazzard ringtone
5. Met a woman at the grocery store who said she was training for a marathon, but I'm pretty sure she meant to say an eatathon
6. Sent in an idea to the Discovery Channel for "Deadliest Catch: Season II"...in it I told them that in this season, catching crabs is just the beginning. (hookers are not allowed though)
7. Received numerous comments informing me that puntang is not Spanish for pudding (see Sunday's Highlights)
8. Considered what would come after HDTV and trademarked the term "IYFFTV" for "In Your Fuckin' Face TV"
9. Let out a silent fart in the elevator that smelled like mashed potatoes and eggs in a waffle cone
10. Five minutes later, while carrying in groceries, the elevator air was still consumed, I gave some girl who had gotten on before me a disgusted look
2. Celebrated the 7th consecutive year that old people eating soup is my #1 pet-peeve
3. Conducted a blind taste test and found that I prefer the generic version of Lucky Charms over the brand name, however I chose Pepsi over the generic pop (aka: soda, cola, or aka "Coke" by hillbillies)
4. Pissed off a large amout of hillbillies, but won them back by downloading the Dukes of Hazzard ringtone
5. Met a woman at the grocery store who said she was training for a marathon, but I'm pretty sure she meant to say an eatathon
6. Sent in an idea to the Discovery Channel for "Deadliest Catch: Season II"...in it I told them that in this season, catching crabs is just the beginning. (hookers are not allowed though)
7. Received numerous comments informing me that puntang is not Spanish for pudding (see Sunday's Highlights)
8. Considered what would come after HDTV and trademarked the term "IYFFTV" for "In Your Fuckin' Face TV"
9. Let out a silent fart in the elevator that smelled like mashed potatoes and eggs in a waffle cone
10. Five minutes later, while carrying in groceries, the elevator air was still consumed, I gave some girl who had gotten on before me a disgusted look
posted by immixmarketer at 10:31 PM
25 Comments:
I don't mind old people eating soup. It's when I'm at a restaurant trying to eat, and the old people in the booth behind me feel the need to discuss the wide variety of surgical procedures they've endured over the years. Give me slurping any day.
Coke beats Pepsi anyday - and I ain't no hillbilly! But both beat out the generic stuff - blech. I hate when old people slurp sodas too...
How do you get pictures on your blog? I've also got a blogger.com account and I can't figure out how to post pictures. Mine is at http://www.niffirgenahs.blogspot.com/
As long as they aren't eating MY soup, they may slurp away.
Coke beats pepsi. I often say "soda" but "pop" is what the trailer-ish neighbor girl used to call it. In some local parts, it is a "sodi" as in "yunnasodi?" (you want a soda?)
so tastavision isn't next? Damn.
dont worry about farting in elevators. you did it, and you're happy with that!!! what else can you ask for. hehehe
Was it robot Vicky or just a normal girl Vicky?
Prozac, beano and Spanish classes and a therapist may help.
:) Heidi
What a funny Blog!! Great work!
Dancing With Tears In My Eyes
Matt
also loved your "puntang" translation!
I loved Small Wonder...sigh...
I like the Malt-O-Meal Marshmallow Maties. Mmmm! Yummy!
But Pepsi, not so much. Coke is WAY, WAY better! (not coke in the general xerox are copies and kleenex are tissues sort of way- I mean the real deal Coke).
Tomorrow's dream: a nightmare in which you get chased by soup-slurping old people with cokes who want you to get your tv out of their fucking faces.
I used to think Billy Corgan, before he was Billy Corgan, was the wussy kid from Small Wonder.
Blake
#8 is the wave of the future, destined to become an American classic... (and I just about pissed myself oover the whole list:)
Oh... and Coke is shit. Literally. I knew this guy who worked at the factory in the mixing room... ugh. Trust me, don't drink it.
I am getting up there in age -- where do I find Slurper's Anonymous? (Or can a slurper be anonymous?)
Very funny blog. Congrats on being on the Blogger page, which is where I found you.
Down in the Billy Goat
or up in Heaven on Seven
you could open your throat
and eat from six to eleven.
Interesting blog.. interesting life indeed!
Anyways, regarding your picture posts, I don't understand how your pictures are turning out darker than they are supposed to. I believe you're using the "Hello" program from picasa? If not, try using a different image host or use the alternate "flickr" program (awesome if you're using a mac). Good luck!
I like your dry sense of humor. It reminds me of me...
TimeonTarget.blogspot.com
Very funny blog, can't wait for the next one.
People who fart in public should be put on the nations most dangerous terrorist list.
I love Pepsi. Wild Cherry Pepsi. Yum.
I like your blog, you're pretty funny. Did you lose your job because you made fun of your boss on it?
I feel sorry for the folks in the elevator - especially that girl. :-P
Very entertaining blog, btw. :-)
I don't know about old people eating soup..but the kids on the Campbell's Soup commercial eating soup gross me out every time...
Lmao, literally, this blog makes me do that... Sad maybe, but oh well, loved the post about the elevator/silent fart/disguested look
I love Deadliest Catch! But, I don't love catching crabs. :)
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