Tuesday, December 19, 2006

The Worst Gift Cards to Give and Receive this Holiday Season

We've all been "there" before. Surrounded by family, friends or co-workers, opening a potential package of goodness, when suddenly you discover the contents within the free gift wrapped box, are as useful as a fart in a mitten. (my buddy's grandma used to say that...often)

So along came the great fad of giving gift cards, and while the free money at Starbucks, Best Buy and Target will always satisfy, I had the thought, when will gift cards run their course, and land on the list of worst gifts?...Right up there with a Christmas sweater from great aunt Hellen or Seasons 1-8 of The Antiques Roadshow on DVD. So I've compiled a list, naming the potential gift cards that could ruin our short lived tradition.

1. $75 at Sky Line Chili. Let's assume you would even eat at this hell hole, you'll likely die before your balance drops to $25 bucks.

2. $450 at the Books for Dummies Online Store, an obvious way to say, you're a dumbass.

3. 750 Pesos at Alejandro's Auto Detail and Plastic Surgery

4. $60 at Heathcliff Huxtible's House of Sweaters

5. $10 at www.throwzini.com (plus a free copy of the 101 Knife Throwing Tips Info Pack)

6. $5 at Uncle Harry's General Store...to be used on Potted Meat Products only.

7. Unlimited downloads at www.JoJoOnline.com

8. $200 at Krispy Kreme Doughnuts...for that useless fatass in your life.

9. $10 at Cracker Barrel. You would be forced to choose between stocking up on Peg Games, bringing down the price of a Hand made rocking chair from $119.99 to $109.99, or finally, death by biscuits and gravy.

10. $100 at Don's Guns ...like Don says, "It's better to own a gun and not need it, than to need a gun and not own one." by the way Don, what's the thought behind your Rental Gun program?

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good to see you are alive...

December 19, 2006 7:48 PM  
Blogger single gal said...

brilliant, absolutely brilliant.
luv the potted meat....Mmmmmm

December 19, 2006 8:57 PM  
Anonymous Aaron said...

what is wrong with Jo Jo?

December 20, 2006 1:47 PM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

$200 at Krispy Kreme? You must really love the fatass.

January 01, 2007 1:16 PM  
Blogger TNJeepGal said...

Guess I'll be keeping that corncob pipe I bought you for Christmas at the Cracker B...

January 07, 2007 5:31 AM  
Blogger sra said...

what's wrong with jo jo? aside from the fact that she appears to have culled her hair extensions off a black and tan zebra carcass?

casual friday, your blog rocks my world.

January 08, 2007 10:50 PM  
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January 13, 2007 6:51 PM  
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Blogger aschlos18 said...

I found a good article on Holiday gift ideas...

http://www.uglychristmassweaters.info/?cat=3

November 10, 2009 8:08 PM  

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