Monday, August 21, 2006

Highlights of My Day...I'm Back Mutha F'ers

1. Will likely be sent to HR after using my shoe and stapler to explain the difference between dry-humping and "the real thing" to my new intern.
2. Last week, a co-worker un-screwed the back of my chair..I fell out...funny stuff. Cut to a week later when he left his computer un-locked....new screensaver x payback = priceless.
3. Let out my neighbor's dog...replaced every can in his fridge of "high-protein" tuna with Eukanuba Puppy Large Breed Dog Food (10 oz)..."its critical for the 12-24 months of puppyhood."
4. Got on the elevator, asked some punk ass teenager to hit "7", after he hit 7, I started yelling, "what are you some kind of fucking idiot!!!"
5. Witnessed a punk ass teenager piss his pants in an elevator.

Hey, 5 is better than zero.
Thanks for everyone's patients these past few months...okay, many months. And thanks again to everyone who sent me an e-mail, okay many e-mails, reminding me that they needed their weekly dose of The Casual Friday funny.
I'm going to try my best to update on a regular basis, and I hope you all don't mind if I change up the format from time-to-time.....According to Jessica Shaw *The Shaw Report* Lists are soooo 5 minutes ago.

Today's Fart Flavor of the Day was brought to me by the fatass standing in front of me at Arby's: Garlic and Curly Fries with a hint of BBQ sauce.

37 Comments:

Blogger -SPK said...

Unreal!!!!

We missed you, and do you remember me? I was the one who brought you candy and condoms in prison.

Welcome, back my friend, welcome back.

August 22, 2006 8:34 AM  
Blogger Bidegain said...

Yea!!!!! Welcome back!

August 22, 2006 3:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where the HELL have you been?! Seriously though, welcome back man. You have been missed. And we'll take 5 or 4 or whatever you got in you.

August 22, 2006 7:24 PM  
Anonymous funkygirl2000 said...

Ahhhhh!!!!
so nice to finally have new reading material.
I think u gotta do something to top that Red Paperclip guy.
A house? In Canada?!?
Go for being a billionaire

wv = wreeu
Hillbilly asking where somebody is.

August 22, 2006 7:57 PM  
Blogger scott penton said...

Yes, he's back, glad your back, dude. :)

August 23, 2006 6:59 AM  
Blogger the Desolate Cubicle said...

Welcome back!!! Been dying for some laughs in this damn cubicle of mine!

August 23, 2006 2:10 PM  
Blogger BeckEye said...

You're back. I'm back. The blogosphere is once again saved.

August 24, 2006 2:12 PM  
Blogger single gal said...

I'm soooo glad to see you Highlights back. They make my day, honestly.

August 25, 2006 8:11 PM  
Blogger mamadukez said...

I popped in on a whim and lo and behold you are back. Yay me! Yay you!!! Welcome home.

August 27, 2006 1:10 PM  
Blogger The BLS said...

Yay! Glad you're back. I was getting tired og checking the site and only finding Rudy... :)

August 27, 2006 1:11 PM  
Blogger Sam I Am said...

dude. :)
so nice to finally have new reading material.
Lot's Of Lick's
Sam

August 27, 2006 6:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ha- ha- ha- hallelujah!!!! i am so glad you're back. you're so funny! but that's not the only reason i love your blog! i just LIKE you and i hated not hearing from you dang it!!!! yuj

August 27, 2006 7:15 PM  
Blogger amanda said...

you rock!!! i'm so happy. i don't care if you only have one highlight a day. do not leave us ever again.

August 27, 2006 7:16 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

I wouldn't want to imagine a world without your blog.

August 29, 2006 11:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

...6 months later!! YOU'RE BACK!!

August 30, 2006 6:11 PM  
Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

and gone again.

I fucking love you. That thing you did with your tongue was awesome.

August 30, 2006 8:54 PM  
Blogger Nick Ratliff said...

..... *tear of joy*

September 01, 2006 11:38 AM  
Anonymous dancing nancy said...

Is this really happening?
More please.......pretty please!

almib
That guy, this guy, almib people over there.

September 06, 2006 1:21 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Finally your back

September 06, 2006 4:20 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

finally your back!!

September 06, 2006 4:20 PM  
Blogger TexasGal said...

Glad your back!!! Just moved to Singapore and truly need the diversion!

September 07, 2006 7:54 AM  
Blogger BadGod said...

This blogs still sucks.

September 08, 2006 4:35 AM  
Blogger kitty said...

So glad you're back.

September 09, 2006 9:07 PM  
Blogger scumbag said...

i didn't miss you.



fag.

September 11, 2006 10:26 AM  
Blogger Zepplinlady said...

Funny, I don't even care that you called us all "Mutha F'ers". I for one, am just glad to see your blog up and running once again!

September 12, 2006 11:02 AM  
Blogger single gal said...

you bloody tease!

September 12, 2006 7:35 PM  
Blogger skillzguymon said...

Seeing how it's almost been a month, maybe you weren't "AS BACK" as you first thought...

Maybe...

September 18, 2006 12:32 PM  
Blogger Lance said...

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

September 19, 2006 5:10 PM  
Blogger blair said...

DUDE! That was LOL funny stuff. I love when I can get a visual of your sick and twisted thoughts!

Thanks couldn't of come at a better time.

NotBlair

September 21, 2006 7:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

...and now you're gone again.

September 24, 2006 4:29 PM  
Blogger Vodka Redgrave said...

www.buyagunandshootyourself.blogspot.com

September 30, 2006 2:12 PM  
Blogger tangerine said...

still posting in Oct
WOOT!

October 12, 2006 12:25 AM  
Blogger skillzguymon said...

I'm not really sure I would call this back?

October 16, 2006 12:29 PM  
Blogger Stephen P. Bell said...

welcome back?

October 17, 2006 9:53 AM  
Anonymous Doctor Wrong said...

Hi there.

Love your work. hme the frequency hs died off, but so have my visits.

I ropped by to say there is a long post about Casual Friday at Wrongtown.

Ch-ch-check it out.

October 26, 2006 7:17 PM  
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