Highlights of My Day...I'm Back Mutha F'ers

1. Will likely be sent to HR after using my shoe and stapler to explain the difference between dry-humping and "the real thing" to my new intern.
2. Last week, a co-worker un-screwed the back of my chair..I fell out...funny stuff. Cut to a week later when he left his computer un-locked....new screensaver x payback = priceless.
3. Let out my neighbor's dog...replaced every can in his fridge of "high-protein" tuna with Eukanuba Puppy Large Breed Dog Food (10 oz)..."its critical for the 12-24 months of puppyhood."
4. Got on the elevator, asked some punk ass teenager to hit "7", after he hit 7, I started yelling, "what are you some kind of fucking idiot!!!"
5. Witnessed a punk ass teenager piss his pants in an elevator.

Hey, 5 is better than zero.
Thanks for everyone's patients these past few months...okay, many months. And thanks again to everyone who sent me an e-mail, okay many e-mails, reminding me that they needed their weekly dose of The Casual Friday funny.
I'm going to try my best to update on a regular basis, and I hope you all don't mind if I change up the format from time-to-time.....According to Jessica Shaw *The Shaw Report* Lists are soooo 5 minutes ago.

Today's Fart Flavor of the Day was brought to me by the fatass standing in front of me at Arby's: Garlic and Curly Fries with a hint of BBQ sauce.