Thursday, June 30, 2005

Highlights of My Day

1. Woke up spooning a box of Granola Bars
2. Cried during a Sylvan Learning Center commercial
3. Figured I still have 4 years, 6 months, and 17 days of training in order to win the gold medal in Curling at the 2010 Winter Olympics
4. Farted into a Tupperware bowl...sealed it...and will release the fumes at midnight
5. Saw a woman bare handedly pick up her German Sheppard's shit from someone else's yard
6. Bought a 24" diameter disco ball at a yard sale for $5.00
7. Dropped a 24" diameter disco ball from my 12th floor window
8. Found a way to tell the difference between Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen thanks to a few back to back episodes of Full House and Tivo
9. Thought about how awesome a Full House Reunion would be
10. 8,709 days straight without sharing chap stick


Blogger Perdita said...

When you were talking about full house it made me think of something I ran across. LOL

June 30, 2005 9:00 AM  
Blogger cpwool said...

Hey brian, wanna do somethin?

June 30, 2005 9:00 AM  
Blogger Dirk the Feeble said...

Full House . . . what a fantastic show. And by fantastic, I mean anus.

June 30, 2005 9:01 AM  
Blogger da buttah said...

just so you know... niskayuna, new york is home of the US Olympic Curling Team's training facility.

i'll forward them your aspirations

June 30, 2005 9:09 AM  
Blogger immixmarketer said...

Hey Kev:
Yes...I want to fuck

June 30, 2005 9:11 AM  
Blogger NewYorkerGrrrl said...

So you know how you can tell Mary kate and Ashley apart? Because they're FRATERNAL twins.
Not kidding.

Being a freternal twin myself, I'm required to know these things...along with the Wondertwin powers.


June 30, 2005 9:12 AM  
Blogger Alecia said...

Full House Reunion..."See how Michelle turned into an anorexic crack head" Awesome.


June 30, 2005 9:25 AM  
Blogger Amanda Lynn said...

What happened to that disco ball after you dropped it? Just wondering...

June 30, 2005 9:30 AM  
Blogger boogaloo said...

dude im just a random from australia but you know what they should do for the full house reunion is include The Wiggles and sing hot potato hot potato

June 30, 2005 9:31 AM  
Blogger Amanda Lynn said...

Oh, btw, were those your original plans for the 24" diameter disco ball?

June 30, 2005 9:31 AM  
Blogger immixmarketer said...

Personally, I was very upset with the way Stephannie turned out. She was pretty cute, and then things started to go south when she reached her teens.
And D.J. oh Donna Jo...what happened?
Aunt Becky is still very fine...Im a fan of Summerland

June 30, 2005 9:32 AM  
Blogger *Natalia* said...

Disappointing about the disco ball. If you had a black-light party, it could be good times. Or an old school 70s b&h party... so many possiblities.

June 30, 2005 9:35 AM  
Blogger cpwool said...

Aunt Becky, was in Rad, and you watch Summerland because of Jesse Macartney

June 30, 2005 9:40 AM  
Blogger immixmarketer said...

Wrong. I watch for both...weird how her two famous co-stars are named Jesse

June 30, 2005 9:51 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

O.K. I just joined Blogger and this was by far the funniest thing i've seen today. Thanks for the laugh Brian!

BTW, make sure you wash that tupperware good!

June 30, 2005 10:08 AM  
Blogger cpwool said...

This blog sucks

June 30, 2005 10:16 AM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

No Full House reunion, But you can Tivo The Full House THS on E! I know this from having a bad case of insomnia.

June 30, 2005 10:16 AM  
Blogger The Shlizz said...

Yeah, so I had my friend check your shit out and it made her cry and she realized she was doing nothing with her life and she has now joined a protest against punishment for underaged drinking and the use of illegal drugs. Thank you for changing our lives Brian.

June 30, 2005 10:16 AM  
Blogger Bobby said...

I want to eat your brains.

June 30, 2005 10:30 AM  
Blogger immixmarketer said...

I would also like to change your life by getting you pregnant and leaving you.

June 30, 2005 10:31 AM  
Blogger The Shlizz said...

By getting me pregnant and leaving me you would in turn be having to pay child support. Think ahead next time.

June 30, 2005 10:43 AM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Thanks, that just made me laugh so hard I snorted water through my nose, which I'm sure my pod-mates appreciated. At least...I hope it was water.

June 30, 2005 10:48 AM  
Blogger Potted-flower said...

your 'highlights of my day' is kinda like my 'top 10 adverts', I'm hopin to do a weekly... yeah... thats a good idea, thanks!

June 30, 2005 10:52 AM  
Blogger immixmarketer said...

Aman "dahhh" lynn: The disco ball shattered...into what I would like to say, 1,000,000 pieces, but I have no way of proving that, so I'll just go with a lot of little pieces.
No, the original plan was to install it in my shower, but it was too big.
What does BTW mean?

Bogaloo: That was the worst idea I've ever heard. If it was just to be funny...hang up your funny hat, and either point a gun to your head, or just promise to shut the fuck up for the rest of eternity.

Shout out to the Shlizz

CPwool...keep it up buddy..people will admire your humor soon enough.

Alecia, Tiffany and Natalian stallion...word up.

Bobby...thank you for wanting to eat my brains...I've always wondered what that would feel like.

June 30, 2005 10:57 AM  
Blogger Amanda Lynn said...

BTW means "by the way". was dropping it an accident or spur of the moment decision? is it still there? i wanna try it...

June 30, 2005 11:21 AM  
Blogger The Shlizz said...

I have a question. How did I get a misquito bite on my ass if the only time my ass is capable of being bitten is when I'm teaching swimming lessons, which is early in the morning, and I don't leave the pool until the end of class? Same thing with the side of my boob?

June 30, 2005 11:29 AM  
Blogger Edo said...

Eww, barehanded picking up of doggie poo is just disgusting. At least she should have used a pooper scooper or a plastic bag. UGH!

June 30, 2005 11:51 AM  
Blogger MaineSqueeze said...

Here Brian...
This is for you.
It' card.

Ever see Rad Racer?

June 30, 2005 11:52 AM  
Blogger mofo said...

I would like to drop Uncle Joey from Full House from your 12th floor window. "No, YOU Cut. It. Out., bitch."

June 30, 2005 12:29 PM  
Blogger melocotón said...

the tupperware thing...hmmm, good idea.
gives a whole new meaning to the handgrenade. :)

June 30, 2005 12:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


June 30, 2005 12:50 PM  
Blogger Sally G said...

Highlight of my day was reading this... how sad is that?

June 30, 2005 1:39 PM  
Blogger Jeremy said...

Oh God this stuff is funny. Thanks for making my day!

June 30, 2005 1:42 PM  
Blogger Monica said...

I cry at Sylvan Learning Center commercials too! Ahhh ...

btw, your girl friends are foxy.

June 30, 2005 2:02 PM  
Blogger Johnny Menace said...

Good thing you saw the women pick up shit after you farted or you might have taken a shit in some tupperware. Either way you still come out with 10 highlights.

June 30, 2005 2:57 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Those Sylvan commercials are so emotional... like, the kid was struggling so much man. Just struggling. And then he succeeds. And it's so beautiful.

June 30, 2005 3:51 PM  
Blogger Blondie said...

If you medal in curling I want to have your babies.

June 30, 2005 3:52 PM  
Blogger andy said...

hey... you're cool... i hope you don't care much if i steal your idea of highlights of my day. i guess if you look at it this way, it's not that bad...
mine sucks really bad compared to yours cause i'm not really cool.

June 30, 2005 4:42 PM  
Blogger Kasi said...

Just got done reading bout the dog shit thing!! Did you even say ne thing to her about it like "EWWW!!" or "YOU NASTY HOE!!"?
tell me later bud your fricken hilarious

June 30, 2005 4:49 PM  
Blogger LCRocks said...

All this before 7:56 a.m.? Impressive. Mind if I link to your blog?

June 30, 2005 5:53 PM  
Blogger nin said...

hi brian its nice to see you again....

June 30, 2005 6:10 PM  
Blogger immixmarketer said...

lcrocks: Sorry about the time thing, I never fill in that section of the whatever shows up is what you get. What does lcrocks stand for??

Andy: To copy my blog...hey, it's a free country, so do as you please, just don't follow me around, because then we will have the same blogs...oh yeah..and don't be such a deuchebag either...that may help your blog get more readers.

Teresa: Making babies looks like fun...I'll be in touch.

Kasi: I would've said something to the lady, but I was too mesmerized by the size of her sheppards balls.

June 30, 2005 7:56 PM  
Blogger Maethelwine said...

Can't speak for anyone else, but I find it helps me to tell my Olsen twins apart if I hack the arms off one of them.

July 01, 2005 12:32 AM  
Blogger jellofishy said...

Hey those drawings were really nice...

I scrolled back up again,
and I viewed your profile,
and I enlarged your picture,
and I said to myself-

"This man here has an interesting pose...."

And I kept looking at you and your illustrations and I thought to myself-

"I am going to draw this man..."

So I did.

Here is the link to the drawing.

I hope you like it because I made it just for you!

Have a nice day!

July 01, 2005 3:33 AM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

At least the lady picked up her dog's poo - I can't tell you how pissed off I get to step in poo that's left in the yard (I live in an apartment that allows pets, so it's worse). :-/

LOL - I don't know if you are joking about the Sylvan commercials, but I get a little teary eyed too (cuz I'm a mom and my son has gone through the whole tutoring thing).

July 01, 2005 6:36 AM  
Blogger cpwool said...

Hey, Jellofishy, I hate to break your heart, but Brian is married and straight

July 01, 2005 6:41 AM  
Blogger jellofishy said...

haha! no no no no kevin,
I'm not hitting on him!
He's all yours...

I am just impressed by his drawing skills.

July 01, 2005 2:39 PM  
Blogger Gex said...

I have a friend that ate an entire stick of flavored chapstick, all in one sitting.

July 02, 2005 12:35 PM  
Blogger hunagirl said...

I love the FUPA comment. My husband is an ER nurse and they use that very techincal term sometimes. Hilarious!

July 02, 2005 8:33 PM  
Blogger BEEF! said...

YAY!!! 50!!!!!! wooooooooo!!!!!

July 06, 2005 6:40 PM  
Blogger Zija said...

July 07, 2005 8:24 AM  
Blogger LavaBlog said...

#5 was gross. I'm sitting here with a big puddle of chuck right in front of me.

July 08, 2005 5:10 PM  
Blogger Gates said...

Your blog is hillarious.

Still wondering. The woman was so hungry that she could do with that dog shit....

(laughs out)

July 10, 2005 6:01 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

Eewww to #5, and just because I'm nosey, did it still smell when you opened the tupperware? I always wondered if you could really capture a fart.....
Great blog by the way!

July 11, 2005 1:43 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home