Highlights of My Day
1. Discovered calling off work to watch an I Love the 80's marathon was so worth it
2. Considered what owning a mint-condition Nintendo with PowerPad would do for my sex life
3. Asked a worker in Starbucks if he could point me to the nearest Eiffel Tower
4. Added to his confusion by quickly demanding an M&M Blizzard with sprinkles
5. Pretended to be on my cell phone asking somebody on the other end how to wipe my ass, when a co-worker entered the stall next to me..."Did you say I wipe back to front? Or front to back?"
6. Called up to the HR department to find out if question #5 on my 2006 employee health benefits form, "Do you smoke?" meant cigarettes or "like other stuff"
7. Wondered if anyone would be offended if I show up on Halloween dressed as a hurricane victim (will require lugging around a bucket of water to dump on myself every 10 minutes)
8. Shattered last months numbers by only being spotted twice scratching my balls in public
9. Dreamt I was Janet Jackson's secret daughter...err, huh?
10. Realized even at the age of 24, I still like to spin globes and pretend wherever my finger is when it stops is where I will live....Go Madagascar!
Fart Flavor of the Day: Warm Apple Cider with a splash of ashtrey
Sorry for the 3 weeks with no post...I've been held hostage and forced to wear a sweater vest and tie....SOS!
2. Considered what owning a mint-condition Nintendo with PowerPad would do for my sex life
3. Asked a worker in Starbucks if he could point me to the nearest Eiffel Tower
4. Added to his confusion by quickly demanding an M&M Blizzard with sprinkles
5. Pretended to be on my cell phone asking somebody on the other end how to wipe my ass, when a co-worker entered the stall next to me..."Did you say I wipe back to front? Or front to back?"
6. Called up to the HR department to find out if question #5 on my 2006 employee health benefits form, "Do you smoke?" meant cigarettes or "like other stuff"
7. Wondered if anyone would be offended if I show up on Halloween dressed as a hurricane victim (will require lugging around a bucket of water to dump on myself every 10 minutes)
8. Shattered last months numbers by only being spotted twice scratching my balls in public
9. Dreamt I was Janet Jackson's secret daughter...err, huh?
10. Realized even at the age of 24, I still like to spin globes and pretend wherever my finger is when it stops is where I will live....Go Madagascar!
Fart Flavor of the Day: Warm Apple Cider with a splash of ashtrey
Sorry for the 3 weeks with no post...I've been held hostage and forced to wear a sweater vest and tie....SOS!
posted by immixmarketer at 8:56 PM
47 Comments:
Ah hah! Now I'm 1st Bitches,,,
jbrqq...
drunk guy asking for more BBQ?
YOU SUCK!!
I am a hurricane victim and I'm not offened. Just make sure you carry around a baby doll to be your dead baby.
What? Was that uncalled for?
He's not dead.
Was that the best he could do after 3 weks?
3 week gaps between posts, few or no responses to your readers' comments.... and still, people love ya and keep comin' back for more.... go figure:)
Word Ver: sngnr.... sounds British, like snoggin' her, maybe.
Take care,
Rachel
Welcome Back!!!
Maybe you could also carry around a battery powered fan for your hurricane victim costume... you know... cause I hear a hurricane is pretty windy.
it was worth the wait for the "like other stuff" joke...made me laugh out loud.
:)
hell, the least you could do was take a pic without the sweater and the vest
spice things up a bit
jeez. now all these 1 dollar bills are going to waste.
Solid. You look like you really need to be a character on a sit-com.
Like somebody's neighbor or something.
Wait, make that somebody's WACKY neighbor.
You look as if you might be able to do wacky.
Finally back man that's whassup!!!
OH COOL ur alive..
good stuff. i'm pretty sure its front to back by the way.
Yeah, I was getting pretty tired of looking up your blog every day and staring at the line about Rhythm Nation. Thanks for mixing it up. Whew.
i LOVED the nintendo power pad... classic!
that pic reminds me of chandler from friends... hee hee hee...
HAVE A HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!!
So glad you finally posted. I love your idea for the Halloween costume, that rocks! Welcome back
Hahahaha... that is one of the most offensive yet originial ideas for a costume! I love it!
I love the 80's 3D!!
You're a funny dude! Always good for a chuckle, even if I'm having a shitty day.
Excellent post - welcome back. I think the halloween costume is a great idea. Maybe you should carry and empty gas can too...
I think the "I love the 80's 3D" has gone flat.
guphci : How Gucci would sound by thomeone with a lithsp.
rnhmh... could be the sound of pleasure i made upon reading your newest post.
Hmmm M&M Blizzards
A few weeks off gave some new oomph to your post. Bravo, my young lad. Bravo.
OMFG, it's Andy Richter.
Um, I do believe a sweater VEST has NO sleeves! You're still hot tho!
So Brian, what's your take on the Chicago White Sox??
My Favorite Game:
Dictionary Game.
Ask a question.
Open the dictionary to a random page and point at a word with out looking. That word is your answer.
Works everytime....
Kinda.
Let me guess..your parents are June and Ward?
I find it funny that people that "hate you" waste their time coming back to your site. If you sucked so bad they wouldn't come back~ wouldn't that make sense? Whatever. Youre funny as hell & keep it up
~Kristina
Well, thank goodness you're back! Now we can all get on with our lives and stop fiending for you addictive entries like a bunch of blogger crackheads.
dmizwa...
one of your fart sounds, perhaps?
Oh THANK GOD! I've missed you!!!
That Gamepad won't go as far with chi as a Virtual Boy!
Have you noticed that the overstock.com lady has an accent all of the sudden? Where did that come from?
come on i must know ARE YOU HOT and taylor wasnts 2 know 2
For the record, I DON'T think Brian sucks! I was just pissed because I was almost first!!!
Brian, I'm sure you got that right?
You know I love you baby!
So, my little brother farted into a ziplock baggie and saved it for a month. When he opened the baggie, it still smelled. Just thought I would share that, in case you had a really good flavor and wanted to save it. Also, I think that would be a hilarious ad for ziplock, I can picture the comercial now!
My word ver: xeqbi
a bisexual executive?
I am still waiting on the truffle shuffle, by the way.
i hear a good way to make yourself seem worldly and sophisticated is to order things that don't appear on the menu. i don't necessarily know if that extends to m&m blizzards though.
nice sweater.
anyone know what a zgsmccob is? according to word verification, it's a word. dare you to use it in a sentence.
I'm just doing this for the Word Verification thingie. I'm a bored Hurricane Wilma victim who just got Internet back.
P.S. I feel guilty for laughing at your costume joke?
"grqtfz"
A 14-year-old teenie-bopper's IM slang for "Gee, you're a 'cutie' for realz". Only it would have to be written in alternating caps.
LMAO OMFG this site is nuts lmao
You are a tool.
if a ninetendo power pad does what I imagine , it would do wonders for your sex life. sweater or not.
I just keep looking at your picture, it's cracking me up more and more! It's a stellar photo, says volumes about you!
Hey that's my classic "retard" expression!
I'm sure we're not related. I don't fart nearly as often or as fragrantly as you.
Hi
You look Like a LION !!
Is true or u just pretending?!
AGRADA
You have the Jack Black expression going on in that pic. Can you do the freaky eyebrow wiggle too?
Holy shit that picture's great.
Holy Shit I can't belive this si still here.
And your still effing hawt!
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