Monday, October 03, 2005

Highlights of My Day

1. Considered what taking up bird watching would do for my sex life.
2. Saw a midget struggling at a drinking fountain
3. Spent the next 5 minutes watching that midget struggle
4. Tried to deposit "movie money" into my Fifth Third bank account
5. Met my new neighbor, Clyde, he asked if I would want to watch NASCAR with him sometime
6. Met Clyde's wife, Deena, she talked for 30 straight minutes about their three cats, Milly, Molly, and Noodles
7. Called the moving company to find out when I needed to return the rental truck, I also asked what they wanted me to do about the little boys arm that was still stuck in the front grill...they didn't find it funny
8. Answered the question; "Who actually buys this shit?" when a guy at the gas station was complaining that the condom machine in the bathroom took his money
9. Glued my fingers and toes together to see if I could swim faster
10. Asked random people if I could sign their casts... (they didn't have any broken bones)

38 Comments:

Blogger FU said...

OOOOO MUHAHAHHA
I'M FIRST!!!

FIRST!!
THINK OF ALL THE AMAZING THINGS I CAN SAYYY!....

UMM...

YEAH...
STUFF....

October 03, 2005 1:15 PM  
Blogger Bethany said...

My entire day at work consisted of checking this site periodically.

I want you to know that.

Pretty pathetic. :)

October 03, 2005 1:46 PM  
Blogger Pokey said...

I think the little boy's arm stuck in the grill is freakin' hilarious!

October 03, 2005 2:07 PM  
Blogger Urban Chef said...

When I was growing up I prefered my dad's milk to my mom's. My mom's breast where a little to big for my mouth, but my dad's milk dipenser fit perfectly in my mouth.

October 03, 2005 2:29 PM  
Blogger sharonb said...

great and interesting as ever!

October 03, 2005 2:29 PM  
Blogger DaMasta said...

Midget shit was funny as hell.

October 03, 2005 2:30 PM  
Blogger Buck Rogers said...

midgets are funny. went a saw one at the strip club the other night

October 03, 2005 3:20 PM  
Blogger blair said...

#9 is my fav! Let me know how that works out for you? I'm curious, but equally scared to try it myself!

October 03, 2005 3:52 PM  
Blogger msbrooksie said...

Why do people get all excited because they are the first to post?

I don't get what the big deal is..

October 03, 2005 4:15 PM  
Anonymous Sweet Caroline said...

I am still waiting for the truffle shuffle.........

October 03, 2005 4:22 PM  
Blogger Kate said...

2. Haha ha
3. Haha haha haha (I love midget jokes)
5. Is NASCAR code for something? Maybe bird watching?
6. That's a lot of pussy in one apartment. See 5.
9. Did you?

Word verification: sicnin
- it sure is

October 03, 2005 4:49 PM  
Blogger sugar said...

you are hilarious, keep up the good work!!

October 03, 2005 6:19 PM  
Blogger Earl Jenkin™ said...

Im really attracted to midgets, every time I watch Wizard of Oz I think to myself how good it would be to have an orgy with the Lollypop kids

October 03, 2005 6:33 PM  
Blogger Kay-D said...

Did you swim any faster?

October 03, 2005 7:38 PM  
Blogger bsoholic said...

Did the ATM not accept the movie money? What a jip!

October 03, 2005 8:18 PM  
Blogger JordanS said...

^_^ omfg yay midgets are so fun and cute!...
and omg! You have so many comments, makes me have comment size envy, I'm so tiny....

and -gasp- you saw me at the Gas Station?!?! -blush-

October 03, 2005 8:26 PM  
Blogger John Bryson said...

YES! Number 17 to post....yes mother fuck! God, Damn shit asshole....oh God, I just came.

October 03, 2005 10:20 PM  
Blogger Getting There said...

I think it's hilarious that you have more comments on your last post (at this point) than on this one. You insulted your readers and complained about moving, and they still come back to for. Dude, that's devotion.
Word verification: xaqnri
The new drink to try on my next trip to the bar.

October 04, 2005 12:07 AM  
Blogger awaterpixie said...

LMAO... glued your fingers and toes together...

you did it wrong!! you have to glue your thighs together... fish don't have legs!

give it a try and let me know how it turns out.

October 04, 2005 7:54 AM  
Blogger Zepplinlady said...

So, did the birdies help you soar to newer heights in the bedroom?

Ok, I give up on making words with my word verification...

dwrom = worm'd or word "m"

Oops!! sorry LOL

October 04, 2005 8:21 AM  
Blogger Dirk the Feeble said...

Aw, I'm so jealous, I wish that I got to have 30-minute cat-related conversations. I miss out on ALL the good times!

October 04, 2005 8:57 AM  
Blogger Angelica Sidious said...

The highlight of my day is usually reading the highlights of your day.

October 04, 2005 9:35 AM  
Blogger Buck Rogers said...

hilarious
but
I posted a picture of my baby boy...just found out about it. He's my Pride and Joy
Check it out

October 04, 2005 9:57 AM  
Blogger Tammy said...

When if first started reading your blog I LOL often and shared some of the highlights with my friends. Now....not.

October 04, 2005 10:30 AM  
Blogger The Megan said...

GEORGE BUSH HATES MIDGETS!!!!!

October 04, 2005 10:35 AM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

Whew.. I love this shit.. go thru withdrawls when there are no posts

October 04, 2005 12:19 PM  
Blogger lookingbusy said...

If you want to be first to post, you should check out my blog. You'd have a pretty good chance.

October 04, 2005 2:22 PM  
Blogger Beckett Amelia Hughes said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

October 04, 2005 3:08 PM  
Blogger alannajoy said...

u funny dude...
alannajoy

October 04, 2005 8:20 PM  
Blogger LBseahag said...

you need www.rentamidget.com

October 04, 2005 10:09 PM  
Blogger Pete Mitchell said...

MIDGETS ROCK!

October 05, 2005 5:35 AM  
Blogger Curious1 said...

The midgets are gonna take over some day buddy...

October 05, 2005 9:46 AM  
Blogger Jules said...

I've been reading your site for a while now and linked it to mine..

I have to say.. after the semi-crappy day I had today. .your new post made me laugh til I couldn't hold it in..

Thanks! :)

October 05, 2005 9:17 PM  
Blogger robmcj said...

No fart flavor today?

October 06, 2005 12:53 AM  
Blogger BadGod said...

list quality has gone down hill.

sorry.

October 06, 2005 3:43 AM  
Blogger Shanda Lear said...

Midget at a drinking fountain... now that brought a smile to my face.

October 06, 2005 11:55 AM  
Blogger Rob said...

If it wasn't for your site....I would ahve killed everyone that I work with about 6 weeks ago.

October 07, 2005 12:51 PM  
Blogger kitty said...

awww, what a cute picture of your with a broken arm when you were a kid

October 28, 2005 5:12 PM  

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