Highlights of My 4th of July Weekend
I hope everyone had a great 4th!
1. Thought about all the places I would go if I were invisible
2. Accidentally farted while sneezing
3. Purposely farted 5 minutes later
4. Practiced my first kiss moves on my arm
5. Wondered who in the fuck enjoys eating at Cracker Barrel
6. Got wasted, played BINGO, yelled "Big Money, No Whammy!" after every number was read
7. Argued with a carnie that yelling "Big Money, No Whammy!" in no way could throw off a game of BINGO, mostly because in my opinion, "Big Money, No Whammy!" sounds nothing like "BINGO!"
8. Wore a fake moustache to a 4th of July party
9. Was involved in a physical altercation with a 16 year old for putting in a Bare Naked Ladies CD at the same party
10. Discovered that no matter how drunk you are, 5 bottle rockets in each hand won't fly you to the moon
1. Thought about all the places I would go if I were invisible
2. Accidentally farted while sneezing
3. Purposely farted 5 minutes later
4. Practiced my first kiss moves on my arm
5. Wondered who in the fuck enjoys eating at Cracker Barrel
6. Got wasted, played BINGO, yelled "Big Money, No Whammy!" after every number was read
7. Argued with a carnie that yelling "Big Money, No Whammy!" in no way could throw off a game of BINGO, mostly because in my opinion, "Big Money, No Whammy!" sounds nothing like "BINGO!"
8. Wore a fake moustache to a 4th of July party
9. Was involved in a physical altercation with a 16 year old for putting in a Bare Naked Ladies CD at the same party
10. Discovered that no matter how drunk you are, 5 bottle rockets in each hand won't fly you to the moon
posted by immixmarketer at 8:52 PM
42 Comments:
So, where did you decide you'd go, Mr. Invisible?
true story: for my 20th birthday, i found myself visiting my aunt in virginia. she took me for the first (and last) time to cracker barrel for dinner. i think by the end of the meal, i had diabetes and obesity.
I accidently farted while doing crunches in front of hot chicks at the gym. That sucked plums hardcore. It's hard to look cool when fronks get squeaked out of your anal canal.
Wow, I hope your sites aren't as boring as that "random" post. Kak!
Nice site. Although, I got a site for you
Http://doug's-site-blows.shit.com
No really, it does. I have a site and it sucks, but I think it is rude to post the link on someone else comment sections.
By the way, if that is a real site, I wanna know. They'll owe me money for the traffic.
as for #10....try 12, it'll get you pretty close :-) Nice blog!
likes your blog a lot...i'll be back to read more....
Hey,I got a better place for you to practice that first kiss.....if you know what I mean. heh. heh. heh.
The Crack-Whore Barrell?
It was either a mighty sneeze or you should lay off the gassy foods. Great blog!
When you played BINGO, did you have a whole collection of troll dolls set out in front of you, lined up for good luck? I hear they work better than yelling, "Big Money, No Whammy!", eh well... better luck next time.
- A
10 bottle rockets oughta do it.
Two things:
I farted while sneezing when on a "date" with my now husband. It happens. I always thought it was a "deal breaker" but when I asked him about it several years later he said he never heard it happen. *phew*
I am listening to Alcohol by Barenaked Ladies while reading your list. Ironic? Coincidence?
I am glad to know that there are so many in the AACB, Alliance Against the Crapper Barrel. I thought I was the only one.
Once when forced to go there, everyone kept raving about some sort of casserole..I ordered "that" casserole and thought how heinous it was that I had to even order something in fashion.
If I was invisible - and I realize this has never been said before - I would hit the girls locker room.
I am just loving this blog...will definately check this one out again! Thanks for making my day a little more uplifting!
stupid blog
Your blog is so random yet so hilarious. I keep coming back for more!
I flipped my jeep, was almost arrested for leaving the scene of an accident, and almost had my face blown off by two low flying artilary shells. It was a great day.
Your lucky to have made it to your 4th July party after getting into it with a carnie. Unpredictable animals. Half hobo half trucker half red neck.
Careful with those sneeze farts.. sometimes they're kind of explosive.
=/
Truly Gnarly!
Only Smash Mouth or Everlast would have been a worse musical choice than Bare Naked Ladies.
Blake
i really love your blog! your blogs make my day! can't wait for the next one!
Hahaha. That shit cracked me up. I dunno if it was suppossed to but it did.
- Horsey
http://horsecrack.blogspot.com/
Mmmm . . . fireworks and alcohol . . . that sounds like a 4th of July to remember!
PS: Greetings Fellow Chicago Blogger!
Did you try farting on the carnie?
http://unfunnybone.blogspot.com
ha!ha!ha! Your life is so totally, way out different from mine! Thanks for making me laugh..all the time!
è un blog fantastico, traducendolo ho scoperto cosa è un vero blog.
per vedere il mio visita il sito www.scienzaamica.blospot.com
http://www.drinklifein.com
http://www.drinklifein.com
Nice blog dude. Sounds like an eventful July 4th. By the way, Doug, those sites you posted are really cool! I recommend that everyone here goes to them. I like the sports on the connection too. Here's the link to the sports blog part of the connection:
http://thesportshome.blogspot.com/
it's good stuff.
Great blog, You are so random and funny! I keep coming back for more!
Wondered who in the fuck enjoys eating at Cracker Barrel
That would be my Aunt Louise...who I swear came back from a vacation to Hawaii complaining that there wasn't a Cracker Barrel to be found on Oahu...she apparently had withdrawal symptoms due to lack of lard intake.
alcohol + explosives = Happy 4th. I had a good time too. :-)
:O)
5. Wondered who in the fuck enjoys eating at Cracker Barrel
Terry Ryan
a friend of mine puked while taking a crap. that definitely beats out the sneezing/farting combo.
Never been to cracker barrel, and thanks to you guys, will now give it a miss. Thanks! Your blog is very funny!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
What a load of cobblers! I could suggest a better place to shove your rockets, but farting is not adviseable
Post a Comment
<< Home