Saturday, July 02, 2005

Highlights of My Day

1. Drank a fifth of Jack Daniels and played Nintendo's Duck Hunt
2. Started feeling guilty around stage 7, and I turned the gun on myself
3. Began dating Katie Holmes to promote my upcoming birthday
4. Learned the difference between cereal sprinkled with sugar and cereal sprinkled with crystal meth
5. 99.9% sure the guy in front of me at Starbucks sharted his pants
6. Put a 1/4 stick of dynamite in my buddy's next-door-neighbor's grill
7. Pretty sure I ruined an upcoming cookout
8. Perfected my ability to pick things up with my toes
9. Told a kid at Blockbuster that he had head-lice
10. Asked my waitress where she learned to toss a salad so well

55 Comments:

Blogger aja-ng said...

haha..and what did she say, when you asked her about salad tossing?

July 02, 2005 11:51 AM  
Blogger Zanderlilly said...

Can you send me some of that cereal?

July 02, 2005 12:14 PM  
Blogger Amanda Lynn said...

where did you get 1/4 stick of dynamite? btw i pick things up with my toes all the time...i call it laziness

July 02, 2005 1:04 PM  
Blogger Ren the Gamer Girl said...

Well picking up things with your toes perfectly takes time and commitment.Good Going.
I just wish I could perfect the 'playing the piano with my toes thing *sigh*'

July 02, 2005 1:15 PM  
Blogger "Alice" said...

Regarding #4, I'm sure you did.

July 02, 2005 1:43 PM  
Blogger MetroOwl said...

re: #7
How did you ruin an upcoming event? Did you affirmatively RSVP?

July 02, 2005 2:04 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Applause to an original blog! Your humor is refreshing to this otherwise dead blog world. It looks like you're living the dream. Cant wait to check back.

July 02, 2005 2:50 PM  
Blogger Code said...

What an AWESOME Post!

GSM Cell Phones

July 02, 2005 2:54 PM  
Blogger Ally said...

lol....ur funny, in a good way. simple....and entertaining enough to want to bookmark ur blog, and look forward to reading at the end of the day...

July 02, 2005 4:51 PM  
Blogger dpshealy said...

Dear Brian, You're a maniac and I would probably be scared to meet you in an elevator. That being said, thanks for giving me something to laugh about today. I like your style and uncensored outlook on life!

July 02, 2005 5:25 PM  
Blogger Athena00181 said...

I like your blog. It makes for interesting reading in a world where many of the blogs seem to have only ads on them or something to do with gibberish and world war two. I noticed this when I hit the "next blog" button. ( question: does the same thing happen to everyone else?) Great writing!

July 02, 2005 5:40 PM  
Blogger Lake Allison said...

Whatever do you mean?

Akjbgkj olweriu lasdl pd sdfjb which triggered World War II was the fake, simulated attack by the Germans on their own radio station near Gleiwitz on the Polish border.

July 02, 2005 5:54 PM  
Blogger Blondie said...

Dude, do you do that thing where you stick the gun right up to the screen and just shoot incessantly?!

July 02, 2005 7:15 PM  
Blogger lil odyssey said...

Hey, If you need something to do give me a ring. Sounds like you've got too much time on your hands. Ha.ha. Great Blog.

July 02, 2005 8:10 PM  
Blogger BeckEye said...

If you keep playing with dynamite, that whole using your toes to pick thing up bit will come in handy!

July 02, 2005 10:49 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Um...you are really fucking funny. I am laughing my ass off at this blog. It's my new favorite.

July 02, 2005 11:20 PM  
Blogger avrgjoe said...

I saw a guy shart his pants at Wal-Mart once. I *know* it was a shart because when I went to the bathroom 10 minutes later, he was walking out... and there were a pair of shat in underwear on the floor of the bathroom.

July 02, 2005 11:39 PM  
Blogger jdub said...

dude - your blog is funny - I just wish all these chicks would look at MY blog!!! Unbelievable!

July 02, 2005 11:55 PM  
Blogger Bekkah said...

I would have paid good money to watch...if you had been hittin' the JD while developing your skills on the Nintendo Power Pad!

July 03, 2005 7:53 AM  
Blogger nin said...

wonderful......
it is the best blog i have ever seen...
keep it up...

July 03, 2005 8:01 AM  
Blogger doctor mental said...

I liked your bloggin. Do you Know that meth has good vitamins in it now? Isn't aja-ng hot!!!

July 03, 2005 8:02 AM  
Blogger Alecia said...

Maybe you need a hobby...

July 03, 2005 12:40 PM  
Blogger iloveyourbrand said...

You forgot curing that Africa place of famine. All you have to do is play the guitar in the front yard and have your neighbors come out, watch, and discuss poverty. I played a drum solo last year and cured herpes in a small town in Ohio. It was rad.

July 03, 2005 1:14 PM  
Blogger JayRay said...

After quite the crap weekend (minus some shopping with friends), I have to say that #5 totally cracked me up! If I do get a job in Chicago, I'm going to need you to constantly entertain me! :)

July 03, 2005 3:38 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

I pick stuff up with my toes too...Much easier..:)

July 03, 2005 5:01 PM  
Blogger BushCheney08 said...

good site!

http://bushisnotantichrist.blogspot.com/

July 03, 2005 5:46 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

#3. Are you also converting to Scientology? I hear Katie will be tutoring as soon as she is finished with her classes!

July 03, 2005 6:15 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

hehe...i apreciate good humor

July 03, 2005 7:12 PM  
Blogger LGuerrrr said...

You've definitely got a good blog. Hate the comments though.

July 03, 2005 9:27 PM  
Blogger Beaver said...

Be safe, *whispers* it's a dangerous world outthere - heard of some guys busting innocent neighbour gatherings with dynamite !

July 04, 2005 7:03 AM  
Blogger Jacqui said...

Hmmm ... an Entrepreneur that works out of a 6 x 6 x 6 cubicle. That's a rarity in itself - much like this humorous tid-bit of a blog. You're in my favorites now!

July 04, 2005 7:27 AM  
Blogger James said...

I need help I need to know just how to put my picture on my blog. Pleas step by step directions. I dont know what a url is either. Sorry I'm just a simple dude. Thanks if you help.

July 04, 2005 9:33 AM  
Blogger James said...

This is James again My email is jndsilverbullet@aol.com thank you again

July 04, 2005 9:34 AM  
Blogger Ankit said...

Katie Holmes was with me on 2nd so stop ur Lies....

July 04, 2005 11:53 AM  
Blogger Gex said...

In response to your question of Ale8, you can find it on the net, but it's a little more expensive, like 3 bucks a bottle. But, the manufacturer is in somewhere in Northern KY.

July 04, 2005 3:24 PM  
Blogger beachgurl said...

ur weird but awesomely talented for picking things up with your toes!!

July 04, 2005 4:08 PM  
Blogger L1 said...

You're a highlight of my day, baby. Number #28th, to be exact.

July 04, 2005 4:28 PM  
Blogger ButterFly said...

NICE!!! made my day twenty times better and all the girls in the ER laugh also.

July 04, 2005 4:47 PM  
Blogger BernicE said...

love this blog

July 04, 2005 8:18 PM  
Blogger She was shaken and stirred said...

Picking things up with your toes is a handy craft. You never know just when you are going to lose those oh-so-useful arms of yours.

July 05, 2005 1:48 AM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

Ok Duck hunt, I got a Nintendo two weeks ago just to play that game.

July 05, 2005 5:24 AM  
Blogger LCRocks said...

Ale8One is a product of Winchester, KY, about 45 minutes from me. It's nasty, in my humble opinion. However, it's got a huge following.

July 05, 2005 7:07 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

Hilarious...I don't have anything else to say...

July 05, 2005 7:14 AM  
Blogger Karma Girl said...

Duck Hunt. I remember playing that game back in the dark ages. I had an Attari. I think it's gathering dust in the shed outside.

July 05, 2005 8:33 AM  
Blogger Hermine said...

Your blog is fun.
You seem to be fun.
I can lend you dynamite, if you want.And a bbq too...

July 05, 2005 11:02 AM  
Blogger kristin said...

Never play duck hunt while intoxicated. NEVER.

July 05, 2005 11:54 AM  
Blogger Drive-By Gossip said...

you had me sharting my pants just readin your shit... you are a genius. keep it up

July 05, 2005 12:46 PM  
Blogger BSbabe said...

I love to read your blog!! It's pretty funny and I like how you set it up. Your life is so much more fun and entertaining than mine!!!

July 05, 2005 1:25 PM  
Blogger mita foaj said...

i'm currently attending a community college majoring in architecture. i hope to own a firm one day.

July 05, 2005 1:29 PM  
Blogger Snowman said...

I prefer to play Ice Climber but that means you have to use both hands and can’t drink during the game. I try to compensate that with a larger dose between.

July 05, 2005 2:06 PM  
Blogger Tara said...

Mmmmmm....Jack Daniel's makes me drool like Homer Simpson.

July 05, 2005 3:33 PM  
Blogger BJSANGELS said...

I love Jack Daniels

July 05, 2005 7:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://www.drinklifein.com

July 07, 2005 8:24 AM  
Blogger Veeba said...

Loved the Katie Holmes comment. That's great. But don't go spouting off that you're a genius at psychiatry and chemical imbalances aren't real or I'll start to think you have one!

July 07, 2005 10:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some fireworks have the equivalent of 1/4 stick of dymanite. We used to throw those into elevators just before they close.Instant hearing loss.
AHHHHHH. Those were the days!

July 08, 2005 5:07 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home