Let's Have Another Go, Shall We?: Highlights of My Day

1. Wrote a letter to the person who invented "spooning" and thanked him for not calling it "akwardly cuddling"
2. Threw a glass inside a rock building.
3. Considered the potential increase in property value, should I decide to install a ball pit next to my dining room.
4. Had a dream that Andy Dick was my roommate
5. Immediately removed my posting on Craig's List for a roommate.
6. Had a Saturday night of heavy drinking..passed out..woke up refreshed in the middle of the night...15 minutes later, I realized it was 3:15 pm on Tuesday and I was in my coat closet.
7. While watching an episode of This Old House, wondered if Bob Villa ever "got really really creepy" with a young intern at the annual office Christmas party.
8. Wondered why the Big Bad Wolf didn't just pose as a 12 year old boy in a chat room, afterall, everyone knows the wise pig who built the brick house was a pervert, and surely would've left the garage door open.
9. Came to the mathematical conclusion that playing flippy cup increases your odds of getting laid by 45.94%
10. Let out a silent fart, to which a co-worker shortly afterward said, "Why does it smell like somebody is baking cookies and lighting off fireworks in here?"

Okay...I think I'm back...Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm back.