Thursday, July 07, 2005

Highlights of My Day

1. Flinched when a huge bug hit my windshield
2. Stole some beef jerky from a gas station
3. Asked the gas station clerk if she was interested in taking a look at my resume
4. Finally saw a decent looking mom breast feeding her kid in public
5. Thought about how sweet life would be if I were a truck driver
6. While doing about 85 mph, I was passed by what appeared to be a midget doing like 105
7. Had a dream I was in bed with both of the Olsen twins...Mary Kate just wanted to watch though
8. Saw a grown man pick his nose and eat it...I now know what I will look like in 20 years
9. Got teary eyed when Roxette's "Listen to your Heart" came on the radio
10. Read an emotional interview given by G.I. Jow Bazooka


Blogger Alecia said...

Did you steal the beef jerky before or after you asked if she was interested in taking a look at your resume?

July 07, 2005 11:55 AM  
Blogger Tara said...

Picking one's nose is a nasty habit. Don't be that guy.

July 07, 2005 12:00 PM  
Blogger immixmarketer said...

before i took the jerky...she said no...

July 07, 2005 12:06 PM  
Blogger Johnny Menace said...

you have a bed in your car?

July 07, 2005 12:39 PM  
Blogger Kay Ray said...

I love your blog, its the same sick stuff I think of on a daily basis.

July 07, 2005 12:48 PM  
Blogger Blondie said...

Your aspirations to get into the fuel industry and subsequent interviewing techniques astound me.

July 07, 2005 12:49 PM  
Blogger Amanda Lynn said...

if the midget was going faster than you...then how did u pass him? if you think its bad when a huge bug hits your windshield, try riding a motorcycle on a bridge over the mackinaw.(maybe you'd have to live in manito to truly experience it)

July 07, 2005 1:23 PM  
Blogger duh said...

It is awesome that you do exactly what I feel like doing. It is great to hear someone is using their freedom like it should be used.

July 07, 2005 1:41 PM  
Blogger da buttah said...

you know. i just don't appreciate you calling me a midget. i let you pass me, i showed you i could drive 105...i let you dip your balls in marinara sauce before..well you get the gist. you cut me man. you cut me real deep.

July 07, 2005 1:44 PM  
Blogger immixmarketer said...

Am I the only one who can read here?
It clearly states "I was passed by a midget"
I didn't pass the midget...the midget passed me.

July 07, 2005 1:49 PM  
Blogger da buttah said...

so now you're making fun of me because i'm a slightly dyslexic midget?

you're cold man!

July 07, 2005 2:00 PM  
Blogger LCRocks said...

No picture of the hot mom breastfeeding?

July 07, 2005 2:01 PM  
Blogger Graves said...

I hope you know why your probably not married

July 07, 2005 2:12 PM  
Blogger immixmarketer said...

good one graves

July 07, 2005 2:19 PM  
Blogger Abby said...

Fun blog, I love randomness.

July 07, 2005 2:23 PM  
Blogger CrazyBandGeek said...

yeah i must say this guy is very interesting its fun reading his crackhead highlights really funny but very odd

July 07, 2005 3:47 PM  
Blogger Baby Devilette said...

Reading your blog really made me smile today... being homesick n everything... its nice to know there are still ppl out there who think like you do... its so cute...

July 07, 2005 4:16 PM  
Blogger Duston said...

You people are prehaps the saddest most depressing people i have ever had the pleasure to come across.
For starters, "kay ray"? what are you? retarded? and get a life.
Oh and leopard, try spelling blue correctly, bitch. Using their freedom like it should be used? you do realise theft is against the law?
But I guess you're a "free spirit" aren't you you tramp, get a job. abby you are a poser, "i love randomness" i'd love to shove your smug face through a wall. Lcrocks, i dont know what i could say that could justify you.
God you people make me sick. I now hate my friend who sent me this link. In conclusion; Kay ray get a life, blewleopard get a job, lcrocks get a makeover and abby shut the fuck up.

July 07, 2005 5:11 PM  
Blogger siren said...

hey...can chicks wear that sex tshirt too? because there are only guys in your ad

July 07, 2005 5:14 PM  
Blogger MoneyBrat said...

Dude your blog kicks major arse. I'm showing it to all my friends.A week ago i was at a store looking for a card when i past this old lady bending down and picking up a pair of HUGE granny panties. When she bent over she farted. I was so scard that i would be like that in 30 years. Rhandomly farting while picking up HUGE knickers. I feel your pain 100% Hey I have a question. Why do old ladys wear those GAINT panties? Is it so they can fit their diper? OH by the way if you want me to do an astrology reading i will. I'm really good at tarto too!

July 07, 2005 5:15 PM  
Blogger Timotheus said...



always cool to see another chicago dood blog

July 07, 2005 5:19 PM  
Blogger Angelika said...

Love your blog. I just found it today and read all your entries. Hey, which gas station did you go to? I wanna see if I can get her to check out my resume?

July 07, 2005 5:19 PM  
Blogger Athena00181 said...

Good idea about having the gas station clerk look at your resume.. maybe I'll try that sometime since I am so unemployed right now! Lazing about has lost its novelty.. I once saw a man in a bus pick his nose and eat his's been etched in my brain ever since! you do not want to be him trust me.. Great post as always!Props to ya!

July 07, 2005 5:29 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

July 07, 2005 5:33 PM  
Blogger Alecia said...

Dear Duston,

Are you this angry at the world because your name is Duston? I would be too. (no offense to other Dustons out there reading) But either need for you to be a massive dickslit.

Take your meds and shut up.

July 07, 2005 5:42 PM  
Blogger Duston said...

oh no, i am suck a dickhead because my english is flawed. if you are going to mock my grammar you might a well actually think of an insult that is more suiting to the situation.
I guess it isn't sad then to spend your life writing on the internet that one of your pet peeves is trying to find a clean toilet?
Wow a trip to the gynecologist! I cna't tell you how interesting it is to find out about your smelly vagina. Do your students have the pleasure of sharing these expeditions? Afterall, a 32 year old woman should be spending her time telling the whole world on a pointless website about her life. Why don't you fuck off bitch?
Thank you alecia for making fun of my name, however i must tell you that unlike you i'm not a fucking stupid bitch who'll share their real name online. Who the fuck is called duston? My name isn't duston or dustin i just don't feel the need to share all my personal information with strangers, especially my sexual hygiene.

July 07, 2005 5:46 PM  
Blogger LCRocks said...

Hey, Duston. Why are you being a dickweed? I see you're posting here, so does that make you one of us? Welcom, shitbrick.

July 07, 2005 6:04 PM  
Blogger Mr. Outrageous Ebay Auctions said...

What are the Gas prices like in China anyways?

Sad to not see the attendant wearing a SARS mask?

July 07, 2005 6:07 PM  
Blogger Duston said...

i was wondering when one of you intellectual geniuses would make that obvious comment. I am not "one of you" because i don't journalise every trial moment of my life so that peopl like you can laugh at my stupidity. I am sitting here suffering from insomnia at 2:10 in the morning looking for something to do and when i friend sent this this web page i felt i had to inform you of just how retarded you are.

July 07, 2005 6:10 PM  
Blogger Duston said...

oh and by the way chris, do you call your students "dickheads" when they make spelling mistakes? or do you prefer to discuss your baby's crying habits like you shared with the rest of the world?

July 07, 2005 6:13 PM  
Blogger LCRocks said...

What's a "trial moment?" Is that when your dumbass gets hauled to court for verbal assault? Me, I just have trivial moments.

July 07, 2005 6:16 PM  
Blogger Duston said...

Verbal assault? like calling someone a "dickweed"? I thought in america you believed in free speech? Although i don't know whether that covers bitching about your life by writing a "blog"
I am typing on a laptop so obviously i will make errors. It seems finally my night nurse has kicked in since i seem to be making some errors due to not sleeping for 28 hours.

July 07, 2005 6:23 PM  
Blogger LCRocks said...

excuse me, unwarranted verbal assault

July 07, 2005 6:26 PM  
Blogger Duston said...

" excuse me, unwarranted verbal assault"
what are you trying to say. Unfortunatly you failed to manage to write a sentence. For that is a phrase, one that on it's own makes no sense. Do you mean to say i have verbally assaulted you? Or to inform others that you are recieving assault? I would find both amusing since the only thing i have directly written about you is when i said, and i quote, "Lcrocks, i dont know what i could say that could justify you."
Compared to you calling me a "dickweed" and a "dumbass".

July 07, 2005 6:32 PM  
Blogger Empire of Dirt said...

Roxette.....she'll break your heart everytime!....... I always the hit dressed for success more tho....

July 07, 2005 6:36 PM  
Blogger dav1e said...

c'mon wheres the pic of the hot mama breat feeding?/


July 07, 2005 6:51 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

July 07, 2005 7:15 PM  
Blogger Alecia said...

Duston, you're welcome.

July 07, 2005 7:27 PM  
Blogger Gex said...

So guess what, i wanted to be the first to post, and i would've been had the comp at work not frozen. thought you might like to know, but now that i think about it, i doubt it. i apologize

July 07, 2005 8:11 PM  
Blogger Will Irby said...

Duston = LOSER, probably doing something "else" online at 2am. Get a life buddy

July 07, 2005 8:34 PM  
Blogger The Everglades said...

The only song that can make me tear up is "Pump up the Jam" by Technotronic.


PS Duston, asphincter says what?

July 07, 2005 8:42 PM  
Blogger spongemom said...

Great blog again!

what did the midget said to you when he passed you by?

Keep on posting!

To Athena- Hi! I read your profile and noticed we had the same interests. Hope you could visit my blog. Just click on my name.tnx!

July 07, 2005 10:34 PM  
Blogger BadGod said...

I am a truck driver. You are not missing anything. I do have a question for the women. How the fuck do you drive with left leg bent and foot sitting on seat. That has to be uncomfortable. But a nice view for me.

July 08, 2005 12:31 AM  
Blogger babyjewels said...

Duston - I'm pretty sure you need genitalia before you can post about your sexual hygiene.

I'm just sayin'...

July 08, 2005 5:14 AM  
Blogger Shelli said...

Wow! The comments are ALMOST as intertaining as the Blog site itself. Stumbled across this site yesterday. Pretty simple but rather insightful and funny s**t!

July 08, 2005 6:43 AM  
Blogger Allie said...


Someone told me once that truckers did that and I never believed it. I guess you have proven me wrong!

July 08, 2005 7:21 AM  
Blogger Mercy said...

Gosh, look what I missed.

July 08, 2005 7:27 AM  
Blogger Veeba said...

To the trucker's comment, I never realized you guys could see into the car. I so sit like that even when I have a skirt on. I guess I'm going to have to be more careful!

July 08, 2005 8:35 AM  
Blogger duh said...

Dustin... Why are doing nothing but showing hate? No one here peed in your coffee. Relax, no lives long enough to show such negativity.

July 08, 2005 9:56 AM  
Blogger BlackOps said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

July 08, 2005 12:19 PM  
Blogger BlackOps said...

Wow, that whole DUSTON thing was really bizarre. I hope you got to sleep. Sounds like you needed it. Try Ambian, its not an over the counter drug but the free clinic (just in case you don't have health insurance) should be able to prescribe it for your insomnia. They offer counseling at the clinic as well. Good Luck Duston.

July 08, 2005 12:21 PM  
Blogger Zen Angel said...


Only lowlife, uneducated, heartless morons use the word "retarded" as an insult.

And only a truly, sadly pathetic little man would continue to visit this blog he claims he "hates" his friend for recommending just to taunt people he doesn't know and pretends not to care about.

July 08, 2005 5:13 PM  
Blogger midwest_hick said...

It's hard to ascertain which has dustin the most upset....the fact that someone pissed in his wheaties...or the fact that he ate the whole bowl after.

July 11, 2005 8:17 AM  
Blogger Jim Crall said...

Duston, please work on your blog. I, unlike all the other whiners here, love to hear negative shit talking. And look at what you stirred up! HaHA! Listen to the whining and the crying!

July 12, 2005 2:26 AM  
Blogger Fredo Teabaggins said...

Another blog pimp who pretends to hate blogs while, sadly, pimping his own.

July 12, 2005 8:07 AM  
Blogger MijaSol said...

Just found your blog. You made me laugh out loud at 1:14 in the am. My entire family is sleeping. If they heard me, they probably thought, "oh she's lost it now, or she's having a dream."
Thanks for the laugh. You are a funny dude!

July 13, 2005 10:17 PM  
Blogger Boracetic said...

I enjoyed reading your blog. It may be boring to some but I find a lot of humor in it. As for why old people wear granny panties - so when they fart it doesn't escape. LOL

July 17, 2005 5:38 PM  
Blogger Wheezi said...

Oh my god! You remind me sooo much of my friend that is on the other side of this country!!!! You are HILARIOUS and you keep people going! Keep up the great work!!!! I look forward to continuing to check out your blog! Amazing!!!! Good luck with the $ (from PCH or Oprah!)

July 18, 2005 2:32 PM  
Blogger Wheezi said...

Duston why don't you get your own blog - looks like majority ruled here and I'm pretty sure your pathetic attempt at hurting someones feelings failed - so why don't you continue on with your life of slashing your wrists in a corner being pissed off at the world and let us carry. This guys a genius and you wouldn't have half the talent he does with a staff of writers!
Keep it up Guy! We love it!

July 18, 2005 2:38 PM  

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