Highlights of My Day
1. Wrote a letter to Oprah asking for $1,000,000 straight up
2. Thought I saw Rudy Huxtable's friend "Peter" (the fat quite neighbor) walking down the street
3. Got a feeling that tater-tots are on the verge of a huge comeback
4. Continued to narrow down my final selections for a Halloween costume
5. Had a discussion with a complete stranger on the techniques of wiping ones ass
6. Updated my "If I ever see them in person, I'll knock them out" list...Constantine Maroulis moved up one spot this week
7. Adults who read Harry Potter still maintain the #1 spot
8. Substituted gum for brushing my teeth
9. Watched a guy on Cheaters get a sword pulled on him when confronting his cheating girlfriend
10. Practiced doing the robot for roughly an hour
2. Thought I saw Rudy Huxtable's friend "Peter" (the fat quite neighbor) walking down the street
3. Got a feeling that tater-tots are on the verge of a huge comeback
4. Continued to narrow down my final selections for a Halloween costume
5. Had a discussion with a complete stranger on the techniques of wiping ones ass
6. Updated my "If I ever see them in person, I'll knock them out" list...Constantine Maroulis moved up one spot this week
7. Adults who read Harry Potter still maintain the #1 spot
8. Substituted gum for brushing my teeth
9. Watched a guy on Cheaters get a sword pulled on him when confronting his cheating girlfriend
10. Practiced doing the robot for roughly an hour
posted by immixmarketer at 7:13 AM
85 Comments:
Come work for me...what is your e-mail address?
I have to say that I love your blog - no one has ever made me spit donut out of my mouth from laughing so hard, so thanks for popping that cherry for me man.
I would love to play hop-scotch, but no cheating this time
Popping cherries is just what I do.
haha.. i laughed when u mentioned that u did the robot...
do people really do them nowadays???
haha its funny
that show cheaters rocks!
Oh my lord...that made me laugh so hard. Rock on!!
love ur blog...+ ur funny as hell. keep writing!
this blog is hilarious. i personally liked the part about asking the gas station chick to review your resume...oh lord...my sides...theys a hurtin'
angelika:
to many people's surprise, there are like 4-5 ways depending on what hemisphere you live in, and if you learned from an older sibling or parent.
Take me for example: my brother taught me to rub my ass against the wall until I passed out.
i can relate to melissa...watera almost shot out my nose a couple of times!
Speaking of things making a comeback, I think the word "lickety-split" will make a comeback quite soon.
you ever tried to wipe with the off-hand? it just doesn't get the job done.
So who won the ass wiping argument? And what is the right way to do it?
P.S. The Oprah thing just might work. Or at the least she'll give you one of her Hermes bags.
Has "Peter" lost any weight? He really was such a roly poly little fellow...hmm..
You're doing the robot yet you make fun of adult readers of Harry Potter?
And did Tater Tots ever go out of style? Yum!
Thanks for the laughs. You should publish you "If I ever see them in person, I'll knock them out" list. You got me thinking of my own, and it would definately start with Barbara Streisand.
eating tater-tots while watching Cheaters and shooting spitballs at Harry Potter fans would make a fantastic Saturday afternoon.
I didn't know if what was weird to read someone's blog without commenting. So, having read your blog for a week or more now, I thought I ought to do so.
One word: Amazing.
P.S. What are the final selections for a Halloween costume?
I thought YOU were Rudy Huxtable's friend "Peter".
On point number 5....
Must be a recurring theme. Check out my blog, Message Board Hell...I wonder if your stranger is the same person who asked the "not so normal question"!
http://www.messageboardhell.blogspot.com/
Would practicing the robot for an hour count as aerobic exercise? Wonder if my personal trainer would by that as a substitute for the bike....
great blog!
don't you like constantine long greasy locks or the impersonating rocker image?...hmmm...there's gotta be someone who shares the#1 spot with him.
Yer funny.
Today I posted my first blog...And after reading yours I KNOW I can do this.
You are a funny guy.
I tried asking Oprah for $100,00. I received a "Thanks for your viewership, you're opinion counts" form letter back. Back to my plan of winning the lottery,by playing the same numbers that the down and out guy that buys his ticket with pennies, uses.
Was peter wearing that red sweatshirt and running out the front door?
http://unfunnybone.blogspot.com
Just the mere mention of Constantine Maroulis makes me laugh uproariously.
Funny stuff man, added you to my links
The Caual Friday is the greatest blog in the world, that's right, THE WORLD. And with your help, we will take it all the way! First Chicago, then Toledo, then the white house!
YEEEAAGGHH!!!
(Howard Dean scream. Or not. Whatever)
Oh, I gotta say I am sorry about that that last post. I think you'd have to start in Iowa, then I think Vermont or New Hampshire. We will take you there, Mr. Casual. Oh yes, we will take you right to the fuckin White House. Or not. Whatever.
your blog is great...I will visit it again for sure...this is a chicago fan from germany
Pretty funny...
Being half-Greek I really tried to like Constantine Maroulis. The represent thing, and all that. So, who else is on your list?
I too am a tater tot lover--eating sometimes proudly, sometimes in secret since 1989. It's good to know I am not alone.
i m shocked to see dat u have 55 posts! ..Thats really coolll.. thought i shud add on.. loved ur blog.. its kewll.. will try 2 keep readin it..
ur such a funny lil shit...
"The highlights of one´s day" is a very good idea. You should try a patent.
What I loved most about reading about "Duston" (by the way thats not his real name people, I mean why would you want someone to actually know your "real name") IS that he spends his whole time telling people how they have no life reading a blog, which he is also reading, and then also making fun of the people who have no life, that they actually write in their blog, when he goes out of his way just to create a blog just to leave a comment, so I ask myself who is the real loser with no life. The sadder thing is I bet he visits the site every day jsut to see what new things are being said.
"Duston" (or whoever you "really" are) you suck big hairy balls!
p.s your site is very funny and clever, much props to you.
Oh yeah, how are you at the robot? I agree about the tator tots deal. They are, at least for me, a larger than part of my diet than previously.
"Had a discussion with a complete stranger on the techniques of wiping ones ass"
Interesting...
I like to walk around my house and pick out things that might at some point give me scabies.
cracking my shit up daily my man
What are the techniques to wipe one's ass?
Damn...the one time that I miss Cheaters the sword comes out...
I love your blog site, but the black background hurts my eyes...can you please change it?
I love your blog site, but the black background hurts my eyes...can you please change it?
I love your blog site, but the black background hurts my eyes...can you please change it?
I love your blog site, but the black background hurts my eyes...can you please change it? Oh,
I love your blog site, but the black background hurts my eyes...can you please change it? Oh, and
I love your blog site, but the black background hurts my eyes...can you please change it? Oh, and you
I love your blog site, but the black background hurts my eyes...can you please change it? Oh, and you are
I love your blog site, but the black background hurts my eyes...can you please change it? Oh, and you are kind
I love your blog site, but the black background hurts my eyes...can you please change it? Oh, and you are kind of
I love your blog site, but the black background hurts my eyes...can you please change it? Oh, and you are kind of cute
I love your blog site, but the black background hurts my eyes...can you please change it? Oh, and you are kind of cute also,
I love your blog site, but the black background hurts my eyes...can you please change it? Oh, and you are kind of cute also, can
I love your blog site, but the black background hurts my eyes...can you please change it? Oh, and you are kind of cute also, can we get
I love your blog site, but the black background hurts my eyes...can you please change it? Oh, and you are kind of cute also, can we
I love your blog site, but the black background hurts my eyes...can you please change it? Oh, and you are kind of cute also, can we get some
I love your blog site, but the black background hurts my eyes...can you please change it? Oh, and you are kind of cute also, can we get some more
I love your blog site, but the black background hurts my eyes...can you please change it? Oh, and you are kind of cute also, can we get some more photos?
DAMN!!! Why did it post SEVENTEEN times? Sorry dude!
I love your blog site, but the person that keeps repeating the same thing hurts my brain. Can you change it?
You are too cute *g* Anyone whos wishlist includes a Dora the Explorer pink blucket and shovel... *swoon* What a Guy!
Hi, i like those sarcastic and biting blogs...that's "the blog i wanna write" :) u're my inspiration dude :D
He posted it so many times to generate traffic to his web page.
What a moron...
Anyway, funny stuff!
How often do you update?
Just stumbled on this blog. Pretty funny stuff. You can check the one my friends & I have done if you want. I think I'll be looking at this one more often.
How do you download the internet?
After you wipe do you look at the toilet paper?
I do.
http://spankinglyhot.blogspot.com/
I would be interested to reading your "If I ever see them in person, I'll knock them out" list.
I do like Constantine Maroulis, though...
I wish my blog was as great as yours.
I recently substituted gum for brushing my teeth b/c I kept forgetting to buy toothpaste.
Great sight. You are officially the evny of all bloggers.
I wanted to be #100.
Blake
Did you really write that letter to Oprah???
Growing up in a small town all we really had was a Sonic. We called them "tater-tits". The other day my friend from high school was visiting and we made a trip to Sonic. Guess what we ordered? Yep! Tater-tits. The person taking our order was laughing so hard it took them a while to finish getting our order. It just slipped out! :-)
one day someone will explain the why any one over 12 reads/watches Harry Potter........
I always look at the toliet paper...are you kidding me?
I do plan on posting my list of people I would knock out.
I love sex.
Looking at the TP is, indeed, the way to go. Prevents track-marks. And since you love sex...it's always a plus to be prepared with track-mark free underthings.
Ismael:
I like your name...and your beard, your horse drawn buggy, your body odor that screams "worst smelling person ever", your crazy sideburns, your hate for electricity, and so on.
Taint nothin' wrong with that.
I think that taint comment turned my soul back towards evil.
Ismael -
Where's your blog, bitch? Easy to talk shit when you have nothing to back it with. At least TCF has a shitload of followers that think he's funny (me included). Now, go back to fucking that dead squirrel in your trailer.
Love always,
Fredo
All this taint talk is turning me on....don't stop...
Standing proudly with my new HP book in one hand and tater tots in the other...
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