Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Highlights of My Day (A Conversation with the Members of Rockapella)

Ask and you shall receive: Rockapella
This is your one and only chance to ask Jeff, Scott, Sean, Barry & Elliot what it is like to be a member of one of the greatest bands of our time.

You all owe me big for this....

1. Jeff, is it true that you were threatened to be kicked out of the band for messing around with a gumshoe?
2. Sean, it could have been a rumor, but was there anything going on between you and Chief?
3. Scott, people tell me all the time that I look like somebody they know....I think it's you, how does that make you feel?
4. And another thing Scott, I love the way you tight-rolled your jeans, what was your secret?
5. Elliot, did you ever overcome your $9,000/day (1992 street value) coke habit?
6. Barry, it is obvious that you continue to inspire today's youth, how do you deal with the pressure?
7. Jeff, where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
8. Scott, as the leadsinger of the band, was it your insticts that lead the band to such classics as the Folgers Coffee commercial?
9. Barry, you let many of your fans down when you were caught in '91 with a bag of mushrooms and a 14 year-old asian hooker, what do you have to say to your fans?
10. Finally, I just have to ask, what is it like knowing that every superstar in the music industry has you to thank for their inspiration and muse?


Blogger Steven said...

You are nuts, great writing, but nuts.

August 29, 2005 11:38 PM  
Blogger BadGod said...

2nd comment fuckers!!!

Someday I WILL be #1!!

though my mom says I am number 1 in her book.

August 30, 2005 12:27 AM  
Blogger John Bryson said...

Strangely, my mom always said I was #3 in her book.

August 30, 2005 1:22 AM  
Blogger Yaeli said...

You are totally crazy!!! In a good way of course. :o) But doesn't the word conversation imply that they replied?

August 30, 2005 2:07 AM  
Blogger Javiso said...

Dude you are very talented. I can see you writing for SNL or Letterman someday.

August 30, 2005 5:25 AM  
Blogger Faithmy said...

They are definately MY muse.....

August 30, 2005 6:24 AM  
Blogger the captain said...

That was amazing! You forgot one key question, can they play at my birthday party?

August 30, 2005 6:39 AM  
Blogger FU said...

hahhahahahahahaha... i would never have thought this was gonna happen!!!! hahahahah...dying of laughter!

August 30, 2005 6:54 AM  
Blogger Kerri said...

That was really funny. Messing with people you don't know is ALWAYS fun.

August 30, 2005 11:16 AM  
Blogger Kay-D said...


I'd like to see Barbra Walters get such in depth answers.

August 30, 2005 12:36 PM  
Blogger Hernesto G said...

are you a transexual?

August 30, 2005 1:18 PM  
Blogger Mary said...

"You all owe me big for this...."

So what do I 'owe'?

August 30, 2005 2:30 PM  
Blogger ~*Bettie said...

Hey people. . .

Just an fyi-

New blog addy, new email. . .

Brian- your still hawt!

August 30, 2005 5:39 PM  
Blogger Design Goddess said...

you know...I never really cared where Carmen was. I only cared about seeing those sexy, rhymin' & harmonizin' studs!

August 30, 2005 6:24 PM  
Blogger Grizwald said...

you are a crazy sun of a bitch. keep up the good work. you need to think about copywriting this stuff so people in hollywood don't steal it.

August 30, 2005 6:51 PM  
Blogger blair said...

Who the hell is Rockapella?

August 30, 2005 7:15 PM  
Blogger Chad said...

As the '90s progressed, this five-man powerhouse, whose sound had become an infectious blend of soul, rock, r&b, and jazz, advanced across the USA, selling-out shows and appearing on radio and television everywhere. Five seasons of Carmen Sandiego had produced a huge crop of fans, young, old, and every age in between.

ahem... who is rockapella? pshaw! i think that pretty much sums it up... Only thing I would add is that it was infectious like a bad case of herpes rather than a blend of music genres...

August 30, 2005 7:40 PM  
Blogger Chad said...

oh yeah and in case you didn't know i stole that description from the "official" rockapella website... EFFEM!

August 30, 2005 7:41 PM  
Blogger LBseahag said...

da mushwooms were mine.
He promise he love me long time and he run out of my room.
you tell him come back, I give him fi minute sucky.
you bad man.

August 30, 2005 10:01 PM  
Blogger BadGod said...

Telling someone you can see them writing for SNL someday is a fuckin insult.

SNL has been horrible since Eddie Murphy left.

I can see his humor more along the ines of Conan O'Brien.

August 31, 2005 12:35 AM  
Blogger Tammy said...

I didn't like this one. I didn't get it.

August 31, 2005 7:15 AM  
Blogger The Megan said...

OMG.. .PEOPLE! Rockapella was the band that played on the 'Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego game show back in the 90's...

In case you had forgotten, here are the lyrics... sing with me y'all!!!

Well she sneaks around the world from Kiev to Carolina,
She's a sticky-fingered filcher from Berlin down to Belize,
She'll take you for a ride on a slow boat to China,
Tell me where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

Steal their Seoul in South Korea, make Antarctica cry Uncle,
From the Red Sea to Greenland they'll be singing the blues,
Well they never Arkansas her steal the Mekong from the jungle,
Tell me where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

She go from Nashville to Norway, Bonaire to Zimbabwe,
Chicago to Czechoslovakia and back!

Well she'll ransack Pakistan and run a scam in Scandinavia,
Then she'll stick 'em up Down Under and go pick-pocket Perth,
She put the Miss in misdemeanor when she stole the beans from Lima,
Tell me where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
Oh tell me where in the world is... Oh tell me where can she be?

Ooh, Botswana to Thailand, Milan via Amsterdam,
Mali to Bali, Ohio, Oahu...!

Well she glides around the globe and she'll flimflam every nation,
She's a double-dealing diva with a taste for thievery,
Her itinerary's loaded up with moving violations,
Tell me where in the world is Carmen Sandiego

Ok, I'm gonna go back to pretending to be cool... bye now!

August 31, 2005 7:41 AM  
Blogger Pokey said...

I really think this was the best post ever! Rockapella was the best group of all time yo!

August 31, 2005 10:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

23 million people want the same drugs you're on

August 31, 2005 1:10 PM  
Blogger J.R. said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

August 31, 2005 2:42 PM  
Blogger Penguinaut said...

Having Rockapella play at one of my birthday parties was always on the "to do list"....always

August 31, 2005 6:04 PM  
Blogger blair said...

I think you should have written an interview with Spinal Tap!

August 31, 2005 6:55 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Nice interview...its good to see they havent become jaded after all these years.

August 31, 2005 7:43 PM  
Blogger Kristen said...

This is so wrong on so many levels. You're a genius.

August 31, 2005 9:21 PM  
Blogger Fredo Teabaggins said...

You are crazy! Teee heeeee! I can see you writing for Jay Leno someday, or maybe Carrot Top.

September 01, 2005 9:23 AM  
Blogger ~*Bettie said...

Carrot Top?

Maybe you could write for P. Diidy.
Or The Diddy. . whatever he's called now. . . Did you see him on the VMA's?



September 01, 2005 10:50 AM  
Blogger Gex said...

You know what, when you don't do this daily, you make my work day longer. You are all I have to get me through my day...it's been two days without you. I'm suffering from withdrawal.

September 01, 2005 1:13 PM  
Blogger lookingbusy said...

Yeah, the Chief always scared and annoyed me.

September 01, 2005 1:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wasn't Rockapella just some random group that did the whole where in the world is Carmen Sandiego thing? That show should come back it would be better than the current day reality shows.

September 01, 2005 2:12 PM  
Blogger Honey said...

You continue to make me scratch my head in confusion and my butt in awe!

September 01, 2005 4:18 PM  
Blogger Fridaysweb said...

it's 3:10, right?

September 02, 2005 12:07 PM  
Blogger LB said...

The necromancer says those who asked to be linked and then don't link other people are douches!

September 02, 2005 12:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I SAID, the necromancer says that Tiffany needs to take her dick outta Brian's mouth before speaking!

September 02, 2005 1:09 PM  
Blogger Earl Jenkin™ said...

I thought the Columbine shootings were great. The loss of a few rich Christian white kids is a good thing -- the world doesn't need any more of them. Besides, now they know -- those kids you don't like because they're different? Don't piss 'em off -- they might be armed and kill you.

September 02, 2005 2:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOOKINGBUSY: Don't diss the Chief, or I will have to get a WARRANT and arrest your ass for conspiring with Carmen SanDiego. And she was not scary and she recently died.

BTW: Someday our Casual Friday guru will not be writing for Conan or Jay or SNL he will be writing for his show. I see him taking over the desk at The Daily Show.

September 02, 2005 3:01 PM  
Blogger blair said...

earl jenkin: What you said makes no sense! You don't want kids to pick on "different" kids, but you're happy that the rich white Christian kids were killed? Why? Cause they're different than you? I bet you were picked on as a kid. Anyway, you're an asshole! A dumb stupid asshole!

September 03, 2005 8:44 PM  
Blogger Earl Jenkin™ said...

Blair, since you mentioned asshole's, I hate the way mine feels after I take a shit..even ten minutes after it's still uncomfortable.

September 04, 2005 10:18 AM  
Blogger Her said...

I love your posts

September 04, 2005 8:43 PM  
Blogger Chesty said...

I was so sad to hear about Barry and the hooker - was she that cute little Japanese girl in season three that found Carmen in Myrtle Beach?

September 04, 2005 11:39 PM  
Blogger Tay Hota said...


Seven simple questions for you to answer on my site, www.poorlytrainedmonkey.blogspot.com

September 05, 2005 11:49 AM  
Blogger Fredo Teabaggins said...


September 05, 2005 8:34 PM  
Blogger Just Me said...

When are you going to post again?

September 06, 2005 4:29 PM  
Blogger Buck Rogers said...

CRASH, Buck's Roommate, Tony

Buck said you were funny but damn

September 06, 2005 6:05 PM  
Blogger tali said...

screw SNL & Conan - write for the Daily show or the Onion

September 07, 2005 10:17 AM  
Blogger David Earls said...

To Earl Jerkin:
The reason your asshole hurts when you defecate is called pucker factor. This ailment is caused by the fact that you piss everyone off by saying it is good that children are killed, so you run around scared all the time. It's only symptom is acute sphincter shrinkage. If it is already so small that a number 2 Dixon Ticonderoga couldn't fit up there you are beyond help. Otherwise, give in to those gay tendencies you are feeling, lube up, and let your lover have a go at loosening that thing up. You'll be glad you did.

September 07, 2005 7:03 PM  
Blogger ~The Goofy Ass Chick said...

Missing your daily discoveries of farts, lies and random highlights of your days. Come back!

September 07, 2005 7:48 PM  
Blogger Fridaysweb said...

Brian...where are you? Did that traffic guy run over you?

September 08, 2005 5:53 AM  
Blogger Gex said...

Question, did you lose your internet privalages at work or something?

Hope you didn't die,

September 08, 2005 10:58 AM  
Blogger Danius Maximus said...


September 08, 2005 11:00 AM  
Blogger Nick Ratliff said...

is work really so boring that there are no highlights? please post, im getting depressed here.

September 08, 2005 12:27 PM  
Blogger ~*Bettie said...

Gex: Ditto

Brian Mc Hawtie!?
Where for art thou!?

September 08, 2005 12:39 PM  
Blogger Twisted Chick said...

Where are you man?!?!

September 09, 2005 1:55 PM  

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