Highlights of My Day
1. Had a brain fart which was immediately followed by a real fart (see below for flavor)
2. Watched the Weather Channel for 12 hours in a row...memorized the weekend outlook for 15 major cities
3. Wondered if jet streams are caused by jets
4. Let my neighbors dog out...totally ignored the huge pile of shit on the living room floor
5. Got a phone call about some contest I entered last month using the name Herby Versmelz..."Hi may I speak with Herby Versmelz?" say it a few times
6. Told a taxi driver to take me to every Starbucks in the city...he said..."You quit fucking around now..and tell Icmabala where you want to go."
7. Met a taxi driver who refers to himself in third person
8. Started a new hobby of looking for people who are obvisously waiting for somebody, and going up to them and saying, "who are you waiting for?" and they say something like "Mike", and then I say either, "Ah, me to." and just stand there. Or "Yeah, Mike told me to tell you he wasn't gonna be able to make it today." and just walk away
9. Threw a rock at a couple riding a tandem bike
10. Outran a tandem bike
Lie of the Day: My grandma and a bunch of her friends invented the color hazel
Fart Flavor of the Day: Green beans inside a garbage truck
80's Name of the Day: Travels with TrapperKeeper
2. Watched the Weather Channel for 12 hours in a row...memorized the weekend outlook for 15 major cities
3. Wondered if jet streams are caused by jets
4. Let my neighbors dog out...totally ignored the huge pile of shit on the living room floor
5. Got a phone call about some contest I entered last month using the name Herby Versmelz..."Hi may I speak with Herby Versmelz?" say it a few times
6. Told a taxi driver to take me to every Starbucks in the city...he said..."You quit fucking around now..and tell Icmabala where you want to go."
7. Met a taxi driver who refers to himself in third person
8. Started a new hobby of looking for people who are obvisously waiting for somebody, and going up to them and saying, "who are you waiting for?" and they say something like "Mike", and then I say either, "Ah, me to." and just stand there. Or "Yeah, Mike told me to tell you he wasn't gonna be able to make it today." and just walk away
9. Threw a rock at a couple riding a tandem bike
10. Outran a tandem bike
Lie of the Day: My grandma and a bunch of her friends invented the color hazel
Fart Flavor of the Day: Green beans inside a garbage truck
80's Name of the Day: Travels with TrapperKeeper
posted by immixmarketer at 8:09 PM
65 Comments:
i haven't laughed that hard in a long time.... however that's my mom & dad on the tandem bike and you broke my mom's nose with that rock you ass pony
I've had that taxi driver. Kind of a douchebag.
Another great day, I see. Woah--what the heck happened to my picture?
Ah, here we go.
There's more than one Starbucks in the city?!?! Where have I been?
12 hours of the weather channel.. Is the weather/elevator music burned into your memory yet?
80's Name: The Teatherball Kid
If this 80's name game were a game at recess, I would soo be picked last...
Yet another eventfull day. Man I wish I had half as much happen in my day as you. You think your farts smell, come on over and I can let you have a few of my son's diapers. Now that stinks! Some are so bad you can taste the odor emiting from them.
Oh, eighties name today! Flies like an Airwolf.
particularly liked 5, 6 & 8.
Taxicabs are my thing.
Dig 'em a lot.
I liked to be watched, don't ya know...
As long as the boy isn't wearing a turban it's usually a go.
Once he angles that mirror, however, I stop.
And, I don't know, if you've ever had the singing taxi driver, yet...but, he rocks. Though, I control myself when I'm lucky enough to get him. I enjoy his vocal enteratinment enough to curb my taxi fetish.
Fredo...the old pic was hot as fuck. Don't know what the fuck that shit is about. I miss the old one already, dude.
from http://lifeparody.blogspot.com
the Kuala Lumpur Haze needs action
Dear President:
It has come to my attention that many lives are constantly being wasted in our massive lust for control. We are aware that we do not care for the young, the old, or the unborn, but we have noticed that the living will waste substantial time by recurrently searching for a mythical 'justice' that can only feed the media.
In our constant search for improved methods for expanding our dominions, we have come to the substantial finding that we can now wage war without declaring it or even tell the enemy about it. What's even more appealing: the enemy might consider itself in an 'state of urgency', but it will only sit and chat about it with us. YES, SIR, YOU HAVE READ RIGHT.
I hereby support that, from now onwards, we attack our neighbours every 10 years (or earlier if the need should arise) by setting ourselves or our unimportant territories on fire and let them asphyxiate to their death while they go on chit-chatting with us about how to put out a fire.
YES, SIR, the uncivilized do not know how to put out a fire, and they truly believe that neither can we.
With best regards,
The Secretary
Ha ha! Herby Versmelz! That's the best one since Ben Dover or Seymour Butts.
Watch the weather channel for another 12 hours, then you can predict the weather better than the Meteorological
Deptt....lol...another nice post.
Herby Versmelz? Oh my gawd, this just cracked me up. It takes me back to the old Porky's / Mike Hunt days.
I think my 80's name would be
Not So Pretty In Pink
aproka.blogspot.com
Love those taxi's. :) When I was in Las Vegas, I had a taxi driver so confused he told me to get out of the cab.
Fuck milk...got beaver?
one of the best blogs! Now, if only my days were as interesting as yours.
thanks for the good laugh!
(i've taken the liberty to include your link)
cheerios!
you joke about the weather channel... my mom literally does that
Loved # 8.
Running out to do it now.
Not much to do that's fun in Canada except mess with people's minds.
Whoo-hoo!
Hehe! I won the 80's name of the day, I'm so stoked! Now I have to tell all my co-workers what a superstar I am! Still.
Your new hobby (#8) made me laugh out loud. And here I was so pissed that Mike blew me off. You sure are crafty, Casual Friday guy.
her beaver smells...classic.
the herby smeltz threw me off for a minute.. i said it a few times and suddenly i was laughing so hard
Jeez, I must be slow today because I don't get the Herby thing - maybe it's because I'm saying it in my head. My 80's name is Mondo Can of AquaNet.
Have you ever played cab fire drill?
Step 1. Get some friends
2. take separate cabs
3. switch cabs at a stop light....
Watch drivers head explode
if 3 is un-achievable, meet at destination, switch cabs, get in and tell the driver to take you where those people came from.
ps. Do NOT pay first when switching cabs...this may result in 2 cabbies running to eachothers cabs also
Watch traffic back up but to busy laughing to honk
Great new pic spinning girl... Classic!!!
80's Name: Iceman's Guntop Maverick
80's rocks. You knwo that song about the wife stuck in 1985? Well my SUV is silver, but all the rest is spot on! I know BC, PiP and St. Elmo's Fire by heart.
My fav's are PiP, Ferris B, 16 Candles, and of course Weird Science!
Go 80's!
Hilarious once again, I'm getting the feeling its casual everyday, not casual friday. But the more posts the better.
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Here's a great new name contest:
80's Pirate Name...I'll start, how about The Dread Pirate Mr. Rogers?
80's Pirate Name:
Pirate Peter Tweeter
travels with trapperkeeper
hah thats great
My 80s name today is a tribute to my favorite He-Man figure - FISTO. Now, in my adult mulleted years, I see that Fisto was a flaming homosexual (nicely trimmed beard, tight furry underpants, a purple striped chest plate AND a stainless steel fist that accomodates other attachments).
Tee hee, Fredo, if you mention HeMan, you cannot forget SheRa. However, I forget any of the characters, but I remember the cartoon and the "action figures".
my 80's name for today
Flashdanced in my Underoos
#10 was the perfect follow-up to #9.
BTW - you're still listed on the Blogs of Note section.
"Hi may I speak with Herby Versmelz?"
It took me a few minutes, but when I got it, I totally laughed my ass off!
nice work buddy
liked '8'
've done that myself too sometime before!! :)
My 80's Name....Runs With Mullet, Dances with JOLT
You are seriously insane...in a good way.
Love the lists; they're hilarious.
Keep writing, we all enjoy you!
Always Yours,
Diane
I'm addicted to your blog.
80's name: Big haired girl with tears for your fears.
do they play crappy easy listening music on american weather channels too? if so, how did you do it man??? ...did you ever know that you're my heeeeee-roooooooo..."
80's nickname:loiters in legwarmers
I definitely do not mean to trivialize the tragedy, but, Echovillegirl, she is in a "coma", not in a "comma".
Coma: a prolonged state of deep unconsciousness.
Comma: Grammar -- a punctuation mark (,) that represents a slight pause in a sentence or is used to separate words and figures in a list.
Nice day Casual...jet streams are caused by jets just like partly cloudy is different from partly sunny.
80's Name: Lemon Juice Blonde
i think you are my new personal hero of the day.
(its ok, tomorrow i'll have another hero)
#8... I am sooo going to start doing this now. I work in the perfect place to be able to do this on a daily basis.
Herby Versmelz... I had to keep saying it until I got it. I think I may have blonde roots. ;-) I don't think Bart Simpson ever used that one.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sweet! Tell your grandma I said thanks for the eye color.
My 80's name today:
Gone Fisting with Skeletor
funny!!!!Hope your day is great!And from the local news of sharonb..The home front is quiet today, not much activity going on. We are getting lots of rain, mostly in the evening hours. Forcast for today is wet and cloudy.
And now we break to a sharonb commercial....
What do you think of my blog?
All this fart humor and 80's names is getting old. I dare you to stop.
Travels with TrapperKeeper, lol!!!
Call me No Mo' Mohawk
As a new blogger, I was looking for laughs and some inspiration, and found them. And then some. I've definately found my new best pal, buddy. If only I could quip as quickly as you. You ARE my hero.
I was all prepared to not like your blog. And then I liked it. I don't know why I had prepared for anything. As recent experience told me, preparing can be a big waste of time.
Funny shite :)
You've got me analyzing my farts now. It's a very deliberate and precise process - much like wine tasting. Little sniffs at a time...
I definitely fall into the 'drinks like a fish' catagory.
How do you get so many comments. I have very few on my blog.
Dear Paul:
After taking a look at your blog, I can't believe you would ask such a dumbass question.
Fucking think about it.
Paul, you couldn't pay me money to read about Australian politics and blah blah blah on a daily basis...Let alone comment about it.
Sorry.
Maybe if you slightly re-adjust your central idea to something...COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!
heheheh..ur so mean it's hillarious. i lowe it (say in thick indian accent). it was casual friday at work today. i kept refreshing your blog every few hours hoping you'd post on this holy day. *sigh* no post today.. BLOG DAMN U BLOG!
tandem bikes rock
Mr. Paul,
After Brian was so mean, I felt sorry for you and went to your blog intending to put some sort of comment on there for your reading pleasure.
Instead, I found the most amazing new cure for my insomnia!
Good onya!!
dear paul,
i see words like fascist and left wing and z
z
z
z
z
z
signed,
anonymous aka too lazy to sign in
I don't get that Herby thing, either. O, well.
Haha. I love what you said about waiting for someone. Or whatever.
totally fresh work! good job! i'd add you as my friend !!
OMG, you are so funny. But I don't think you have to be that fast to out run a tandem bike. You know I don't even think we have tandem bikes in Texas!
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