Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Highlights of My Day

1. Paid my buddy's 12-year-old brother to wear a shirt that says "Eat Shit" on his 1st day of school
2. Woke up sitting on a curb while getting yelled at by a cabby...he said I puked in his taxi, I said, "I think that was there when I got in man."
3. Realized around 2:3o p.m. on Tuesday that it wasn't around 2:30 p.m. on Sunday
4. Wrote a business plan for a restuarant that only serves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
5. Invented the game "How fast can you get kicked out of a buffet restuarant"
6. Trained my nephew to quit calling the bathroom the "potty"...he now refers to it as "the crapper" (sounds like cwappur)
7. Got into an arguement in a bar with this kid I knew from the 6th grade, Dan Lincoln, he used to tell people Abe Lincoln was his great grandpa...after all those years, the lies finally got to me
8. Collected $100 from a bet, after I successfully slapped a random person across the face
9. Realized I've just about made it through the summer without seeing any carnies
10. While blowing out my birthday candles, I made a wish that everyone would remind me to make a wish


Blogger Spinning Girl said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

August 23, 2005 8:52 PM  
Blogger Spinning Girl said...

My town is all in a tizzy over the new uniform that the school board OK'd this summer.

August 23, 2005 8:53 PM  
Blogger bsoholic said...

That sure is a freaky carnie photo...

damn carnies

August 23, 2005 8:55 PM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

Happy Birthday! I hope you wished for more wishes. :-P

August 23, 2005 9:17 PM  
Blogger katie's brain said...

Happy Birthday. I saw a kid about ten wearing a t-shirt today that said Official Canadian Beaver Inspector.

August 23, 2005 9:25 PM  
Blogger James said...

crap yeah, carnies are the best

August 23, 2005 9:37 PM  
Blogger sklail said...

Last night I saw a guy wearing a t-shirt that read "Let the fucking begin". Nothing but class in this town pal!! They also were heard to be extolling the benefits of "teabagging" to the girls in their car. What can you say about the youth of America!!??

August 23, 2005 9:41 PM  
Blogger Just Me said...

Did you get your wish? Hope you had a good birthday.

August 23, 2005 9:48 PM  
Blogger Abigail S. said...

I'd pay money to see the teacher's reaction to that shirt.

August 23, 2005 9:59 PM  
Anonymous Bjatt said...

You may not have seen a Carnie this summer but a Carnie saw you. Happy Day to Boy friday have your cake and eat it too.

August 23, 2005 10:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You have done a great job with your blog, I found you as I was leaving another blog on Used Car Loans

August 23, 2005 10:07 PM  
Blogger Strumpet said...

The "Abe Lincoln" is a good time.

Abe Lincoln (noun)
During climax of doggy style sex, the male's ejaculation hits the female in the back of her head.

All this talk about blowing out candles has me completely turned on...hmmm...

Let's do the Abe Lincoln at Old Country Buffet and see how quick we get kicked out. We will SO win!

August 23, 2005 10:32 PM  
Blogger gekke mum said...

the "cwapper" got me. that was a good one. it totally sounds like something my brother in law would do with my kids.

August 24, 2005 12:54 AM  
Blogger Fredo Teabaggins said...

Canadian Beaver sounds like a crisp, refreshing beer made up North by female mounties. You drink it while eating ketchup flavored chips.

August 24, 2005 1:09 AM  
Blogger John Bryson said...

I knew a guy who had an "I love pussy" tattoo on his chest.

August 24, 2005 4:12 AM  
Blogger Zepplinlady said...

My aunt found out that taking home doggie bags from Buffet restaurants isn't tollerated either. So Brian, how much did it cost to make the kid wear that shirt & did he get in trouble for it?

I'm thinking that cab must've smelled pretty rank, huh?

August 24, 2005 5:03 AM  
Blogger allison said...

Brian = Creative Genius

August 24, 2005 5:18 AM  
Blogger cpwool said...

Hey bri guy, I have made my ali like return to the blogging world.

August 24, 2005 6:23 AM  
Anonymous Wendy O said...

Ha ha! A business plan for a PBJ restraunt. What were the main goals? Never run out of milk? Always cut off the crusts?

August 24, 2005 6:28 AM  
Blogger Jason said...

you know, there already is a pb&j restaurant in NYC. i forget what it's called but it's definitely there.

August 24, 2005 6:50 AM  
Blogger Curious1 said...

I once won a bet for snatching a photo happy person's camera at a bar...The bank: A buck fitty.
Drinks on me!

August 24, 2005 7:27 AM  
Blogger Perdita said...

Happy b-day

with all the bets you collect on you could totally open that PB-n-J store.

August 24, 2005 7:29 AM  
Blogger LB said...

My birthday is 8/27. Why don't you stop by and leave me a birthday message.

P.S. This is not a porn site. Unless, by my telling you this, it dissuades you from visiting. In that case It might be a porn site.

August 24, 2005 7:33 AM  
Blogger The Megan said...

funny as always, although i'm still pissed about getting slapped across the face... bee-otch..

August 24, 2005 7:44 AM  
Blogger Design Goddess said...

I always thought it would be cool to have a restaurant that served only grilled cheese sandwiches! So many different cheeses and breads, the options are endless......yummmmmmm

August 24, 2005 7:53 AM  
Blogger Fridaysweb said...

Make a wish! You really ought to think about wishing to REALLY get laid, rather than trying to think of how certain things might make getting laid more interesting.

Getting laid on a plane
getting laid over a drain
getting laid in a cab
getting laid on marble slab

getting laid while smoking pot
getting laid an awful lot
getting laid by a Scot
go get laid, on the spot!

August 24, 2005 9:29 AM  
Blogger Sherri said...

Carnies freak the heck out of me!! I, for one, am glad I made it through the summer without actually seeing one.

August 24, 2005 9:35 AM  
Blogger Strumpet said...

There used to be a small peanutbutter sandwich place at Clark and Addison near Wrigley, right off the Redline stop. It had PB&J, PB&banana, PB&Fluff and all sorts of other amazing concoctions. It closed down about five years ago.

That sucked. I've been wanting them to re-open in another location ever since, but don't think it's happening.

I'm quite sure I'm not the only one who misses this place. I think you should go for it.

August 24, 2005 9:44 AM  
Blogger Vooki said...

good stuff.

August 24, 2005 10:41 AM  
Blogger Cass said...

I love Carnies.

August 24, 2005 11:00 AM  
Blogger ButterFly said...

1. i would probably go to the PB& J resturant.
2. the Potty... lol is the best.

August 24, 2005 11:02 AM  
Blogger melissa said...

I have a picture of a kid wearing a shirt that says "I fuck on the first date" I love it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Mine is on the 28th.

August 24, 2005 11:56 AM  
Blogger Spinning Girl said...

Melissa--see post #1

Cass--PLEASE get a new pic, every time I see yours I throw up a little in my mouth.

August 24, 2005 12:00 PM  
Blogger The Complimenting Commenter said...

That is a great list. I hope that the taxi driver bought your excuse. Very funny stuff. Nice blog.

August 24, 2005 12:29 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

Jason - There's a place in NYC called Peanut Butter and Company that serves PB&J but I think they have other stuff on the menu too.


August 24, 2005 2:17 PM  
Blogger Trixie said...

WOw, everyone seems a little testy today. geez.

Strumpet is way horny, spinning girl is bold.

Carnies are freaky, but carnies in Iowa are scary as he--!

Sadly had to look up Tea Baggin-was not happy with the results

Peanut Butter & Co ($)

240 Sullivan St, New York 10012
Btwn Bleecker St & W 3rd St

Phone: 212-677-3995

Grilled Cheese NYC ($)

168 Ludlow St, New York 10002
Btwn Stanton & Houston St

Phone: 212-982-6600

NYC beat you to it guys both times

Anything you want to know...you let me know

otherwise Bri, we are all glad you are not dead from BAP

August 24, 2005 2:19 PM  
Blogger Ron said...

I wonder how many times that carney ladie fornicated on the Dumbo, or the moonwalk.

August 24, 2005 2:20 PM  
Blogger FU said...

hehehe...slap a stranger... i wish i had a 100 bucks everytime i did that.. :)

August 24, 2005 3:49 PM  
Blogger Des said...

One of my friends husbands has a shirt with a pic of a chick bent over and it says "Two in the pink, one in the stink." Now, that's a classy shirt!

August 24, 2005 4:00 PM  
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August 24, 2005 4:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Keep up the good work

August 24, 2005 4:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tell us in TalkBack
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Nice to see some decent content for a change. FYI, I log on today and see that we've got a new feature, the 'Flag blog' button, which is inconveniently located between the 'Get Your Own Blog' and 'Next Blog' buttons so that we would presumably be getting some flags on error alone (although if one happens to notice it, you can unflag a blog) But that's a trivial matter. What concerns me is this: When a person visiting a blog clicks the "Flag?" button in the Blogger Navbar, it means they believe the content of the blog may be potentially offensive or illegal. We track the number of times a blog has been flagged as objectionable and use this information to determine what action is needed. This feature allows the blogging community as a whole to identify content they deem objectionable. Ok, see the problem with this? What's "objectionable. And there lies the problem: what is objectionable? Just my 2 cents, Contact Lenses

August 24, 2005 4:21 PM  
Blogger Duncan MacEachern said...

Happy Birthday & many more!!!
Love the EAT SHIT shirt scenerio.
The Cwapper!!! Fantastic!

August 24, 2005 4:37 PM  
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August 24, 2005 4:38 PM  
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August 24, 2005 4:55 PM  
Blogger Master of None said...

What's the name of the restaurant?

August 24, 2005 5:35 PM  
Blogger Always Smiling said...

I have nightmares about carnies! (trivial fact you didn't need or want to know about me)

August 24, 2005 6:16 PM  
Blogger The real me said...

One of these days, we will read that you have either been shot to death by a disgruntled carnie, a stranger with a black eye or your sister-in-law/sister for teaching her kids to say cwapper.

Love your lists... but I'm sure you've heard that before.

August 24, 2005 6:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're like one of those comedy improv guys, right?

August 24, 2005 7:31 PM  
Blogger msbrooksie said...

Have you ever thought of doing you own Jackass Movie called

Casual Friday?

Staring you and the shit you get away with!

I would of paid you $1,000 dollars if you slapped random hot chic in the face!


August 24, 2005 7:48 PM  
Blogger immixmarketer said...

funny you should mention that, I actually was just offered a TV show this past weekend...
stay tuned for more info..

August 24, 2005 8:18 PM  
Blogger Maile said...

A million wishes to ya!

August 24, 2005 11:12 PM  
Blogger Strumpet said...

Yes, I'm satiable.

Mr. Friday,

You SO do not need a new pic.

The one you have gets me off any time.

Congrats on your offer.

If you'd like a celebatory blowjob keep me posted.

August 25, 2005 2:31 AM  
Blogger Curious1 said...

Just revamped my comment link... Another doy move by the curious one. Sorry guys...

August 25, 2005 7:10 AM  
Blogger Kristen said...

Been reading you for a few months, now. One of your best posts ever. Thanks for entertaining us. You're awesome.

August 25, 2005 8:45 AM  
Blogger Bidegain said...

Happy Birthday! Our daughter was born on your birthday this year at 6:55 pm. Love your blog!

August 25, 2005 10:32 AM  
Blogger Average Joe said...

Did people remind you to make a wish?

August 25, 2005 12:18 PM  
Blogger Steph said...

Your shit cracks me up.
check out my blog..not as funny, but I think its a good runner up. :)


August 25, 2005 12:48 PM  
Blogger austinizer said...

damn carnies. they tried to put me in a cage once. once.

August 25, 2005 2:38 PM  
Blogger jellofishy said...


August 25, 2005 2:57 PM  
Blogger Mad Munkey said...

Another stellar list. I need ramp up. tee hee

August 25, 2005 4:33 PM  
Blogger The Quintessential Negro said...

Happy belated birthday, my brother from another mother. Today is my special day. You and I share an everlasting bond. Never let that fade. Peace out, Negro.


August 25, 2005 4:52 PM  
Blogger heycow42 said...

happy birthday! that's a really good wish to make, because you know it will come true... good thinking

August 25, 2005 7:15 PM  
Blogger cmhl said...

you gotta love the carnies. happy birthday!

August 25, 2005 7:58 PM  
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August 25, 2005 8:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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August 25, 2005 8:12 PM  
Blogger Spinning Girl said...


come closer, I will give you a little snack .

August 25, 2005 8:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are so full of shit its not funny. You will delete my comment too, I really dont care.

August 25, 2005 8:26 PM  
Blogger Strumpet said...

Okay, I was a little tipsy when I wrote that comment. It was like four in the morning.

That's supposed to say...INsatiable. If I was ever satiated, I wouldn't have half the problems that I do.

Also, I misread Spinning Girl's comment and thought she was talking about Mr. Friday's pic. Though Cass' pic is quite disgusting, it's that which makes it hilarious.

However, now you all know I get off to Brian's blog pic...heh, heh...if you haven't tried it yet, you should.

August 25, 2005 10:29 PM  
Blogger ~*Bettie said...


Go to MTV and vote for GREEN DAY!!!!

If you need the link, I've posted it!!

Vote for Green Day to get the Viewers Choice Award tonight at the Video Music Awards in Miami!


I love Brian! WOOOOOOOOOT!

August 28, 2005 5:49 PM  
Blogger ~*Bettie said...

spinning girl-

HOLY SHIT thats funny!


August 28, 2005 5:50 PM  

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