Highlights of My Day
1. Paid my buddy's 12-year-old brother to wear a shirt that says "Eat Shit" on his 1st day of school
2. Woke up sitting on a curb while getting yelled at by a cabby...he said I puked in his taxi, I said, "I think that was there when I got in man."
3. Realized around 2:3o p.m. on Tuesday that it wasn't around 2:30 p.m. on Sunday
4. Wrote a business plan for a restuarant that only serves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
5. Invented the game "How fast can you get kicked out of a buffet restuarant"
6. Trained my nephew to quit calling the bathroom the "potty"...he now refers to it as "the crapper" (sounds like cwappur)
7. Got into an arguement in a bar with this kid I knew from the 6th grade, Dan Lincoln, he used to tell people Abe Lincoln was his great grandpa...after all those years, the lies finally got to me
8. Collected $100 from a bet, after I successfully slapped a random person across the face
9. Realized I've just about made it through the summer without seeing any carnies
10. While blowing out my birthday candles, I made a wish that everyone would remind me to make a wish
2. Woke up sitting on a curb while getting yelled at by a cabby...he said I puked in his taxi, I said, "I think that was there when I got in man."
3. Realized around 2:3o p.m. on Tuesday that it wasn't around 2:30 p.m. on Sunday
4. Wrote a business plan for a restuarant that only serves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
5. Invented the game "How fast can you get kicked out of a buffet restuarant"
6. Trained my nephew to quit calling the bathroom the "potty"...he now refers to it as "the crapper" (sounds like cwappur)
7. Got into an arguement in a bar with this kid I knew from the 6th grade, Dan Lincoln, he used to tell people Abe Lincoln was his great grandpa...after all those years, the lies finally got to me
8. Collected $100 from a bet, after I successfully slapped a random person across the face
9. Realized I've just about made it through the summer without seeing any carnies
10. While blowing out my birthday candles, I made a wish that everyone would remind me to make a wish
posted by immixmarketer at 12:59 PM
52 Comments:
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My town is all in a tizzy over the new uniform that the school board OK'd this summer.
That sure is a freaky carnie photo...
damn carnies
Happy Birthday! I hope you wished for more wishes. :-P
Happy Birthday. I saw a kid about ten wearing a t-shirt today that said Official Canadian Beaver Inspector.
crap yeah, carnies are the best
Last night I saw a guy wearing a t-shirt that read "Let the fucking begin". Nothing but class in this town pal!! They also were heard to be extolling the benefits of "teabagging" to the girls in their car. What can you say about the youth of America!!??
Did you get your wish? Hope you had a good birthday.
I'd pay money to see the teacher's reaction to that shirt.
You may not have seen a Carnie this summer but a Carnie saw you. Happy Day to Boy friday have your cake and eat it too.
The "Abe Lincoln" is a good time.
Abe Lincoln (noun)
During climax of doggy style sex, the male's ejaculation hits the female in the back of her head.
All this talk about blowing out candles has me completely turned on...hmmm...
Let's do the Abe Lincoln at Old Country Buffet and see how quick we get kicked out. We will SO win!
the "cwapper" got me. that was a good one. it totally sounds like something my brother in law would do with my kids.
Canadian Beaver sounds like a crisp, refreshing beer made up North by female mounties. You drink it while eating ketchup flavored chips.
I knew a guy who had an "I love pussy" tattoo on his chest.
My aunt found out that taking home doggie bags from Buffet restaurants isn't tollerated either. So Brian, how much did it cost to make the kid wear that shirt & did he get in trouble for it?
I'm thinking that cab must've smelled pretty rank, huh?
Ha ha! A business plan for a PBJ restraunt. What were the main goals? Never run out of milk? Always cut off the crusts?
you know, there already is a pb&j restaurant in NYC. i forget what it's called but it's definitely there.
I once won a bet for snatching a photo happy person's camera at a bar...The bank: A buck fitty.
Drinks on me!
Happy b-day
with all the bets you collect on you could totally open that PB-n-J store.
funny as always, although i'm still pissed about getting slapped across the face... bee-otch..
I always thought it would be cool to have a restaurant that served only grilled cheese sandwiches! So many different cheeses and breads, the options are endless......yummmmmmm
Make a wish! You really ought to think about wishing to REALLY get laid, rather than trying to think of how certain things might make getting laid more interesting.
Getting laid on a plane
getting laid over a drain
getting laid in a cab
getting laid on marble slab
getting laid while smoking pot
getting laid an awful lot
getting laid by a Scot
go get laid, on the spot!
Carnies freak the heck out of me!! I, for one, am glad I made it through the summer without actually seeing one.
There used to be a small peanutbutter sandwich place at Clark and Addison near Wrigley, right off the Redline stop. It had PB&J, PB&banana, PB&Fluff and all sorts of other amazing concoctions. It closed down about five years ago.
That sucked. I've been wanting them to re-open in another location ever since, but don't think it's happening.
I'm quite sure I'm not the only one who misses this place. I think you should go for it.
good stuff.
I have a picture of a kid wearing a shirt that says "I fuck on the first date" I love it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Mine is on the 28th.
Melissa--see post #1
Cass--PLEASE get a new pic, every time I see yours I throw up a little in my mouth.
That is a great list. I hope that the taxi driver bought your excuse. Very funny stuff. Nice blog.
Jason - There's a place in NYC called Peanut Butter and Company that serves PB&J but I think they have other stuff on the menu too.
http://www.ilovepeanutbutter.com/
WOw, everyone seems a little testy today. geez.
Strumpet is way horny, spinning girl is bold.
Carnies are freaky, but carnies in Iowa are scary as he--!
Sadly had to look up Tea Baggin-was not happy with the results
Peanut Butter & Co ($)
Sandwiches
240 Sullivan St, New York 10012
Btwn Bleecker St & W 3rd St
Phone: 212-677-3995
Grilled Cheese NYC ($)
Sandwiches
168 Ludlow St, New York 10002
Btwn Stanton & Houston St
Phone: 212-982-6600
NYC beat you to it guys both times
Anything you want to know...you let me know
otherwise Bri, we are all glad you are not dead from BAP
I wonder how many times that carney ladie fornicated on the Dumbo, or the moonwalk.
hehehe...slap a stranger... i wish i had a 100 bucks everytime i did that.. :)
One of my friends husbands has a shirt with a pic of a chick bent over and it says "Two in the pink, one in the stink." Now, that's a classy shirt!
Musings of a Mayor the Stuff of His Blog
Williams launched an interactive Web log this month, and although his participation has been rather light, he says people will be hearing from him more in the future.
Nice blog
you might be interested in my horse racing betting site
Keep up the good work
Happy Birthday & many more!!!
Love the EAT SHIT shirt scenerio.
The Cwapper!!! Fantastic!
One of these days, we will read that you have either been shot to death by a disgruntled carnie, a stranger with a black eye or your sister-in-law/sister for teaching her kids to say cwapper.
Love your lists... but I'm sure you've heard that before.
You're like one of those comedy improv guys, right?
Brookster:
funny you should mention that, I actually was just offered a TV show this past weekend...
stay tuned for more info..
A million wishes to ya!
Yes, I'm satiable.
Mr. Friday,
You SO do not need a new pic.
The one you have gets me off any time.
Congrats on your offer.
If you'd like a celebatory blowjob keep me posted.
FYI
Just revamped my comment link... Another doy move by the curious one. Sorry guys...
Been reading you for a few months, now. One of your best posts ever. Thanks for entertaining us. You're awesome.
Happy Birthday! Our daughter was born on your birthday this year at 6:55 pm. Love your blog!
DITZ!
Another stellar list. I need ramp up. tee hee
Happy belated birthday, my brother from another mother. Today is my special day. You and I share an everlasting bond. Never let that fade. Peace out, Negro.
-Quint
happy birthday! that's a really good wish to make, because you know it will come true... good thinking
you gotta love the carnies. happy birthday!
Pod gets the nod from politicians
Politicians are still more likely to knock on your door than your desktop but with an election looming, several are proving to be in touch with the times by getting in on internet podcasting.
Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!
I have a make money at home site/blog. It pretty much covers make money at home related stuff.
Come and check it out if you get time :-)
spammers--
come closer, I will give you a little snack .
You are so full of shit its not funny. You will delete my comment too, I really dont care.
Okay, I was a little tipsy when I wrote that comment. It was like four in the morning.
That's supposed to say...INsatiable. If I was ever satiated, I wouldn't have half the problems that I do.
Also, I misread Spinning Girl's comment and thought she was talking about Mr. Friday's pic. Though Cass' pic is quite disgusting, it's that which makes it hilarious.
However, now you all know I get off to Brian's blog pic...heh, heh...if you haven't tried it yet, you should.
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