Highlights of My Day (First Day at New Job)
1. Asked my co-workers what they did over their summer vacation
2. Let out a muffled "bullshit" during the new employee orientation, they were discussing improper usage of the internet
3. Had a 3 martini lunch
4. Drew a picture of me and my boss holding hands under a rainbow...gave it to her
5. Starting eying out who I would want my "Secret Santa" to be this holiday season
6. Tried to pick out the office slut
7. Took a mental note that I was never officially given a talk on workplace sexual harassment
8. Discovered a red Swingline Stapler in my desk
9. Met a fellow employee, Ron, he used the term super-duper at least 5 times
10. Ron also substitutes the term ".com" with ".comski!"
Fart Flavor of the Day: Eggplant Parm lightly covered with sunflower seeds
Lie of the Day: I would make out with Rachel Dratch to meet Will Farrell
2. Let out a muffled "bullshit" during the new employee orientation, they were discussing improper usage of the internet
3. Had a 3 martini lunch
4. Drew a picture of me and my boss holding hands under a rainbow...gave it to her
5. Starting eying out who I would want my "Secret Santa" to be this holiday season
6. Tried to pick out the office slut
7. Took a mental note that I was never officially given a talk on workplace sexual harassment
8. Discovered a red Swingline Stapler in my desk
9. Met a fellow employee, Ron, he used the term super-duper at least 5 times
10. Ron also substitutes the term ".com" with ".comski!"
Fart Flavor of the Day: Eggplant Parm lightly covered with sunflower seeds
Lie of the Day: I would make out with Rachel Dratch to meet Will Farrell
posted by immixmarketer at 12:01 AM
49 Comments:
No bithcing about the password...
I've done away with SPAM...I think
congrats on the new job. (i hope that was a sort of thing one would congratulate on) personally, i would be touched if i got a picture of me and someone else under a rainbow. i hope you used crayon. that means you care.
I want to see the picture you drew!!!
I had the WORST Secret Santa EVER last Christmas.
I'd be the office slut if there were any hot guys. Alas they're all freaks and fuglies.
Oh God, I think I dated that super-duper Ron guy! Did he get a second date? Not so much. He was a fucking moron-ski.
Wow, you changed your font. That is so hot!
Almost as hot as that martini picture I'm drooling over right now...
Here's to hoping your Secret Santa is also the office slut...Bottoms up!
Office sluts rock. You can spot them a mile away, and then when they're right up close too!
I actually did #4, only my boss and I weren't holding hands and there was turtle in there too.
What do you do at your new job?
LMAO! As always.... I bow down to your razor sharp wit and comedic flourish....
I hope picking out the office slut improves ya sex life cuz if being fesh meat doesn't...you're doomed homie.
fresh...sorry. See I was focusing on typing out those damn laetters on the bottom of screen. Doy!!!
I think that your friend Ron has seen that skit with Rob Schneider too many times...Ron...the Ronmeister...Ronanowski...Ronorama...
My boss replaces .org with .orgasm. He's the office slut.
I live for those liquid lunches! :o
Good luck with the office slut!
You continue to crack me up. You will definitely not have a hard time picking out the office slut. she is probably already scoping you out for her next conquest. Keep the highlights coming.
Good luck with the new job! Did your boss hang the picture you drew on the employee fridge?? She should!!
Secret Santas...just say "no".
Whoever thought of "secret santas" should have been shot. My guess it was someone who wasn't going to get any presents otherwise.
Hmmmm... #6 + #7 makes me think you have plans of becoming the office slut... good luck w/ that... =)
Hey. I start a new job on Monday. Good news. I will not be the office slut. They get a bad rap. I might get labeled the brownoser though. (was that sposed to be 2 words?)
I didn't even know you were looking. What do you do now?
Do you ever read these comments? and are they as funny to you as they are to everyone else?
Cheers to our new jobs! I get to go to new hire orientation on Monday! I'll let you all know how it goes on my blog if anyone cares. or check out my other blogs if you like.
http://adgb.blogspot.com/
That's funny as freakin hell...
I have a BOSS that uses the word...
SUPER-DE-DUPER-NESS
whenever he uses it around me I feel like I need to ask for my kindergarten snack and a nap...
blah
Milton is the most hilarious mofo ever!
improper usage of the internet
is just code for minimize it when your superior walks by. Why else do companies have DSL? MP3's and movies that's why!
So you saw me, huh, and how did you know I was a slut?
That's what I like to see, A productive, well spent, first day on the job. Think you made a good impression? I vote HELL YEA!!
i come here to smile, great site ;)
Just don't have three martinis and try to figure out the word verification!
Sorry... I couldn't resist
Hopefully they'll actually pay you at this new place of employment and won't just keep moving your "office space" around. :)
Okay, I miss the meat ads.
Though, a Bing Bong table sounds kinda kinky. I just might have to check that particular advertisement out...AND it comes with balls...
Office slut - ha! That got an LOL from me. I work from home so I guess that makes me the office slut here.
immixmarketer: you too? there has been spam explosions on my blog. I'd like to get to the bottom of it.
I think I'm going to draw a similar picture for my boss on Monday. I'll let you know about her reaction. I can't wait. I'll probably work on it all weekend.
I will not rest, eat or sleep until the link for the Swingline Stapler works.
You cruel bastard.
You should follow Ron around for the day.
Wow I get the sexual harassment talk every year at my school, personally. I love the word verification, gotta keep out those blind people.
Congrats on the new job. I start my new job on Monday. Love your blog -- you have very interesting days. Thanks for the laughs.
So , what did all your workmates do for their summer vacations? We went to North Myrtle Beach. Maybe you could link to your new company's site for extra credit cause those drawings are gonna start taking up a lot of time.
< whispers >The password is "tdqmoi" < /whispers >
fart flavor - hm, i like the ring to that.
I think Will Ferrell is hilarious. But, he's so not my type. I wouldn't even make out with him to get to Amy Poehler.
God, I love Amy Poehler. I might be willing to make out with Rachel Dratch to get to her though. But, I'd really have to think about it.
Now, I'd definitely do Jimmy Fallon to get to Amy.
And let's not talk about Tina Fey. I'd do just about anybody to get to her. Even, possibly, Will Ferrell. Those glasses...
Good Luck with the new job..sounds like youre settling right in..nothing like getting that first day crap out of the way. Nice touch with the picture for the boss..
yaz, I heart that you said "shat".
Is Ron's last name Flanders? A relative of Ned's perhaps?
I'm sorry, TY.
But, my vote is going to My Chemical Romance. That boy is smokingly hot. And the vid is pretty coolass too. I dig on their style and what they're doing with the genre. They draw from so many different musical influences, I think they're very deserving.
Don't get me wrong, I love Green Day and they've done wonders with this album. But, I don't think it's anything all that fresh. Granted, they are delivering a helluva message with this concept and I respect that heaps. They've had some great vids from that album too. The girls at the end of the Holiday video are hot as fuck. Green Day would definitely be my second choice.
However, my guess is it's goin' to Snoop.
Your boys won, TY! Yay!!
Snoop looked none too happy.
MCR's performance immediately prior was the shit though. And at the end Gerard dedicated it to his Grandma. Awww.... Too hot.
Congratulations dude! and isn't it voodoo is so cute? yeah, she's married, I know!
highlite #5 of my day: finding this blog
btw, i am a part time pack mule on will ferrells new movie (high wide and handsome) produce me an intoxicated tina fey and ill make sure youre pressing palms with will as soon as im done!
(thanks to doctor minta for linking you)
Post a Comment
<< Home