Highlights of My Day
1. Wrote "J.K. Rawlings was here" on the shitter stall in Barnes and Noble
2. Asked an old lady at the train station if the 13 o'clock train was running on time
3. Pretended to fall asleep while riding on an elevator
4. Asked the house keeper at my hotel why it is called "continental breakfast"...she responded with, "you wan room kreen o no kreened?"
5. Wondered why the 3 little pigs didn't go in on a house together in the first place
6. Sent in the patent paperwork for my beer-flavored toothpaste
7. Discovered a website dedicated to the 3rd and final installment of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
8. Continue to thank the people at Aunt Jemima
9. Had a fart that smelled like Cheerios smoothered with Southern Comfort
10. Thought about kidnapping Andy Milonakis
Lie of the Day: My sister is the reason why the Gin Blossoms broke up
2. Asked an old lady at the train station if the 13 o'clock train was running on time
3. Pretended to fall asleep while riding on an elevator
4. Asked the house keeper at my hotel why it is called "continental breakfast"...she responded with, "you wan room kreen o no kreened?"
5. Wondered why the 3 little pigs didn't go in on a house together in the first place
6. Sent in the patent paperwork for my beer-flavored toothpaste
7. Discovered a website dedicated to the 3rd and final installment of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
8. Continue to thank the people at Aunt Jemima
9. Had a fart that smelled like Cheerios smoothered with Southern Comfort
10. Thought about kidnapping Andy Milonakis
Lie of the Day: My sister is the reason why the Gin Blossoms broke up
posted by immixmarketer at 4:34 PM
52 Comments:
Cheerios and Southern Comfort...egad!
I actually thought the Bill & Ted thing was a joke. I think GW would concur with shock and awe...
My farts always, always smell like tapioca pudding.
Blake
Why didn't your sister break up the Gin Blossoms sooner? Life would have been so much sweeter for those of us with ears.
Please tell me you didn't have the cheerios and Southern Comfort *together*!
It would have been slightly cooler to write, "JK Rowling was here," but unfortunately bathroom stalls aren't equipped with spellcheck.
:) Midwest
Even if bathroom stalls were equipped with spell check, would spell check have her name?
New here - you totally got me w/ #3.
I think your farts are the reason that the Gin Blossoms broke up. Keep up the good work.
you are one gassy bastard
hahahaha.. you totally should kidnap that Milanakis kid. Why the hell does he have his own show? MY life is more interesting than his!
If this is going to be a group kidnapping....I have a few ideas of what we can do with the Milonakis kid.
Can we say, "gimp suit?"
Please Kidnap Andy Milonakis. I hate that guy. Even though it wouldn't be kidnapping since he is like 29 years old!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
another bill and ted movie...that would be something. keanu reminds me of al gore...both are so stiff and monotone. the matrix was a perfect role for him becuase there is no emotion at all for his character.
Beer flavored toothpaste, would there be a an age requirement?
Yo Yer Daddy...
A. Midwest lives in Seattle
B. Could it be that I was being ironic and that Casual Friday was being ironic and that it was all just over your head?
Hmmm...why is it called a continental breakfast? Good question. Rolls and juice = continental? I don't get it.
i love you blog and have emailed it to all of my friends i might just have to copy you but being asboring as i am it will be no where near as funny
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While youre at it, can you add Marlboro flavoured toothpaste or any Marlboro scented bath products to the list?
Much appreciated. Thx.
All I have to say is that Andy kid is really stupid to me. Sure, he got a show and not I,but I find him rather annoying. Not soemthing, I want my kids to watch. This of course is prob the next "jackass" star that ends up in a big time movie...oh well. Andy just annoys the hell out of me and considering I lOVE MTV, i wish they would put him onlike at 2am.....when i'm sleeping or partying!
BTW- funny blog!!
Your site is funny. It makes me laugh every day, and today I really need it because my camero is in the shop and I only have a tandem bike to ride around. I also think you're cute. Stay cute and cool. Call me this summer! We'll hang!
Teabaggin' 24/7,
Fredo
I also think you are retarded and hot.
Writing "J.K. Rawlings was here" on the shitter... classic!
I tried to scotch tape the ol' "how to poop at work" joke to the inside of the stall doors at work--- surprisingly many didn't find it as funny as me. Bastards.
#2 was hilarious.
Now that I know who that Milanakis kid is, Can I be the getaway driver of the kidnapping car?
Strumpet -- I cracked up on your post. I almost died when I saw 'gimp suit.'
Cute way of describing your daily life....
liked it...will come back
:-)
Hey REO Teabaggin:
I hate your friggin guts!
#4 is so true and so funny...lovin' it.
Awww, Fredo...a bicycle built for two. How I would adore riding with you and keeping your hair fluffed from behind.
I'm a most excellent Fluffer.
Heh, heh.
Trish, you're hot.
You should check out a brand called Demeter. They put out a unisex fragrance called Whiskey Tobacco and it smells fucking wicked.
Oh, joy! Oh, joy! Fredo Teabaggins made TWO comments! My day is complete! I will pray for your Camero, Fredo, and light some candles. I'm so saddened by that news. I'm your biggest fan!
You are Hilarious!
You should've saved some of your Southern Comfort for that Milonakis guy. Cheers! That dude is funny! I can't stop watching...
I was wondering if you were available for random things, such as translating ethnic slurs for cuban refugees... You're hot. Let's do it.
Welcome to GI -
Like I give a shit.
Love -
Fredo
You know, yesterday after working out at the gym I forgot to bring underpants, so I had to freeball at work and the air conditioning was out. I had swamp butt and sweat nuts like nobody's business.
Please kill Andy Milonakis for the sake of us all.
I don't know what's funnier...the post or the comments. :)
"I love the smell of Cheerios and Southern Comfort in the morning." --found on the Apocalypse Now cutting room floor
Tip housekeeping $2.00 a night!
http://rawski.blogspot.com/
I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. You're a fucking genius!
Dude, you've got to start bottling up these farts. Somewhere on this planet there is a market for noxious fumes. You could sell it as Aromatherapy for crackwhores. Clearly you're letting money go to waste. No pun intended.
Did you try the tomatoe soup? You should.
Has being a 'Blog of note' made this more fun or has it put a little too much pressure on you to 'be funny'? I don't think I could handle it.
Way to deliver.
That Andy M kid gets on my nerves anyway.. and this is coming from someone that likes the show Wondershozen so does my opinion matter anyway LOL
entrepreneurs are tools of satan. also fridays are the best days for converting people to the only true church...you should repent sir.
God 56
sinners 0
TCOJCOEMLDS
Satan has a huge tool.
I worship it every Friday.
I have a thing for pointy tails and pitchforks.
If you really kiddnap andy milonkis, can i get in on that, he just pisses me off!
BTW, To "`ty`" that quote is from the movie tommy boy, excellent movie one of my top 10 favorit movies
You are regoddamndiculously funny!
I can't explain this excited feeling I get when you have a new post... It's kinda like when I would see the beginning of the Batman TV show and the Batgirl cartoon would drive by in the intro... and I knew she would be in the episode.
Love your random thoughts, where do you get this stuff from?
YOu are HILARIOUS! andy milinokis, gin blossoms, its funny stuff man
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