Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Highlights of My Day

1. Considered what having a dorsal fin would do for my sex life
2. Yelled "Mission accomplished!" after stopping to tie my shoes on a busy sidewalk
3. Tested the SPF of maple is comparable to that of SPF 30
4. Weirded people out at the pool as I rubbed maple syrup on myself
5. Began using the salutation, "Boobs are great," at the closing of each e-mail and letter I write
6. Took a $1,000 bet in which I will have to shotgun a beer in the middle of an upcoming job interview
7. Practiced stop-drop-and roll, and looking both ways techniques
8. Set a new goal of writing a book which can be judged by it's cover
9. Revealed my true identity
10. Began selling wrist bands that say "What Would R. Kelly Do?"


Blogger CrazyBandGeek said...

wow your are quite an interesting person its so much fun to read your highlights its so hilarious

August 03, 2005 9:07 PM  
Blogger CrazyBandGeek said...

not as good this time though

August 03, 2005 9:07 PM  
Blogger immixmarketer said...

coming from a band geek...that hurts

August 03, 2005 9:10 PM  
Blogger ~Tonia~ said...

A dorsal fin hu??? well I see it hindering you being on bottom. Hey if you like it on top or any other way that you are not on your back then it could be quite interesting. I have always wanted to go swimming with dolphins.

August 03, 2005 9:12 PM  
Blogger beernazi said...

speaking of dorsal fins, sounds like R. Kelly likes to park the porpoise wherever he sees fit. I didn't know who he was so I googled him...check it out, what a freak

August 03, 2005 9:28 PM  
Blogger ~The Goofy Ass Chick said...

Wow, you're Zach Morris!

August 03, 2005 9:32 PM  
Blogger used*to*be*me* said...

I love your site! How much money are you making via 'donations'? I may try that. Keep up the good work.

August 03, 2005 9:45 PM  
Anonymous Court said...

Alright, now what in the world would you do with the fin? It would make females run if you are trying to stick it somewhere. This blog is definitely marked. Funny.

August 03, 2005 9:53 PM  
Blogger melissa said...

So I have to admit I had nothing else to do on Sunday that I sat and watched all the chapters for Trapped in the Closet online...

August 03, 2005 10:46 PM  
Blogger Darren said...

HAHA. Where can I purchase one of these "What would R.Kelly do?" wrist bands?

August 03, 2005 11:03 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Hey Brian,
For your information, maple syrup is used regularly as a sunscreen up here in Canada, eh! It looks hot, but gets tricky if any part of your anatomy comes into contact with sand....

August 03, 2005 11:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

YOu are so completely random and absolutely frickin' hilarious!

August 03, 2005 11:47 PM  
Blogger Strumpet said...

I want to rub maple syrup all over your dorsal fin. Talk about foreplay!

Then we could do it doggy-style, so your fin can flail about freely.

One thing that's good about doggy-style is that both of us can see what's on T.V. Porn is usually a good choice; however, Saved By the Bell is a great alternative option.

R. Kelly can stay in the closet and listen. Hopefully you're a screamer.

August 04, 2005 1:46 AM  
Blogger gennaxrotten said...

I have to admit that you write one funny blog. I need to make sure I was getting the whole you and that I had something to compare "the whole you" to. I found that your's puts the biggest grin on my face. Thanks for using your talents to make other people's days better.

By the way, did that maple syrup wash off? LOL

August 04, 2005 2:42 AM  
Blogger BadGod said...

Did you ever decide the "name Crystal's boobs contest".
Just wondering.

August 04, 2005 2:48 AM  
Blogger witbyt said...

So your true identity is Zach Morris!....I knew it all along!!!

August 04, 2005 3:19 AM  
Blogger Lady Sappho said...

1. Dorsal fin would be kewl.
2. Who wouldn't?! You managed to get it done without getting stomped on, I would say that's QUITE an accomplishment.
3. Hmmm, edible sunscreen? You might be on to something there.
4. They're just not as kinky as the REST of us - teeheehee.
5. Wonder if I could get away with that?
6. Could actually get you a better position in the company if you were perchance interviewing for Coors or Budweiser.
7. Was this at home or at the office? I think you should offer this as a weekly training session on this at the office.
8. Already been done. That's why we read the back of a book cover before deciding on whether or not to buy it!
9. So THAT'S what happened to you!
10. Hmmm, how about one that says, 'Is there anything R. Kelly WOULDN'T do?'

August 04, 2005 4:26 AM  
Blogger A little girl at heart said...

maybe they have a strap on dorsal fin you could try out....
where do you come up with these things? its amazing how funny you are! send me an email we should talk....

by the way, names Heather ;)

August 04, 2005 4:31 AM  
Blogger Snerpy Sinna said...

Yo yo yo

August 04, 2005 5:06 AM  
Blogger The Husband said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

August 04, 2005 6:05 AM  
Blogger The Husband said...

its nice to know that there is someone else out there who enjoys syrup as much as i do. once again you have managed to write another brilliant blog!

August 04, 2005 6:06 AM  
Blogger ~*Bettie said...

ZACH! Oh Zach!

Hey. What ever really happend to him anyway? Didn't he morph into Leo DiCraprio? Who knows. . .


I love you.

I have shot gunned a beer in an interview. I so did not get that job. . .

August 04, 2005 6:09 AM  
Blogger MaineSqueeze said...

your best blog yet Brian

August 04, 2005 6:31 AM  
Blogger Perdita said...

Maple syrup?
didn't it attract a lot of bugs?

August 04, 2005 6:44 AM  
Blogger Spinning Girl said...

I like a pierced fin.

August 04, 2005 7:19 AM  
Blogger Strumpet said...

Oooo...a PIERCED fin.

Now, I'm excited.

That is SO hot, Spinning Girl.


August 04, 2005 7:34 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Somebody said "strap on." I'm sensing a response from strumpet.

I swear, you mention anything related to Canada and you're going to get some Canadian responses. Because I love the Canadians, and because I crave attention, I'm devoting my blog to Celine Dion, Bob & Doug McKenzie, Lorne Michaels, Canadian football, and the Calgary Stampede.

August 04, 2005 7:34 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Damn. Strumpet commented while I was commenting. And nothing about a strap on.

August 04, 2005 7:35 AM  
Blogger LilTanLines said...

LOVE the R. Kelly wrist band idea! What color would it be???

August 04, 2005 7:47 AM  
Blogger Burt Beanley said...

good one today. keep up the funny stuf

August 04, 2005 7:47 AM  
Blogger allison said...

Lark Voorhies is looking for you.

August 04, 2005 7:48 AM  
Blogger JesseeezMom said...

OMG!! Perfect way to start my day!! laughing Thanks!

August 04, 2005 8:06 AM  
Blogger Wombat & Aspen said...

Any idea the spf of semen? I was going to use some at the beach last weekend.

August 04, 2005 8:11 AM  
Blogger Zanderlilly said...

Puhlease bring back the lie of the day. It gives me reason to live.
That, and knowing finally, that you are Zach.

August 04, 2005 8:16 AM  
Blogger Elohimus Maximus said...

Bloggers are sinners. therefore all bloggers should repent and be saved, and dont try to call out my hypocricy by stating that I am a blogger...God told me to do this.
God 71
sinners 0

August 04, 2005 8:32 AM  
Blogger Elohimus Maximus said...

update since last blog...
God 72
sinners 0

August 04, 2005 8:34 AM  
Blogger Sarah M. said...

5. Began using the salutation, "Boobs are great," at the closing of each e-mail and letter I write

If you use it at the closing of all of your letters, then it's not really a salutation, now is it? :)

August 04, 2005 8:54 AM  
Blogger Uncle Gekko said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

August 04, 2005 8:58 AM  
Blogger Maile said...

I had some french toast with maple syrup for breakfast this morning and considered putting some of the syrup on my noise before heading out the door.

Buff Arms on Good-looking Men are great too!

August 04, 2005 9:22 AM  
Blogger Curious1 said...

Very clever...

August 04, 2005 9:28 AM  
Blogger monsterhack said...

in regards to this new goal of writing a book...I couldn't see your book having a cover.

any thoughts?

August 04, 2005 9:38 AM  
Blogger Penguinaut said...

your highlights never cease to humor my absent sense of humor. smoke breaks have become obsolete. shibby.

August 04, 2005 9:59 AM  
Blogger Yer Daddy said...

ELOHIMUS: So, tell me, who is WITHOUT sin? Huh?

August 04, 2005 10:35 AM  
Blogger Fredo Teabaggins said...

I am without sin because I drive a t-top IROC camaro, bitches. Plus, I have white leather pants on and my plums are bulging like a pair of swollen moose knucles.

August 04, 2005 10:43 AM  
Blogger Eddie said...

I'm a hustler, I'm a hustler, I'm a hustler homey. Ask about me, ask about me, I'mmmmaaa I'mmmaa hustler homey.

August 04, 2005 11:29 AM  
Blogger C Black - My old hacker alias said...

Teabaggins, thanks for the scary picture - maybe I'll go gay later.

Good luck on the interview!

August 04, 2005 11:40 AM  
Blogger Lady of Love said...

I think this was your best blog yet!! You had me rolling on the floor...thanks for the daily laugh!

August 04, 2005 11:58 AM  
Blogger Uncle Gekko said...

Wow, what a coincidence! So nice to see you again!
Makes it so much easier to come clean.
Love and kisses, Me.

August 04, 2005 12:10 PM  
Blogger jetta said...

i heart maple anything and anyone.

August 04, 2005 1:28 PM  
Blogger Adam said...

Dude this is great stuff, can i tell my friends?

August 04, 2005 1:32 PM  
Blogger dive_goddess said...

LOL Thanks for another great laugh buddy! :)

August 04, 2005 1:41 PM  
Blogger CanOpener said...

Don't be diss'n the maple syrup! It's not just for pancakes anymore!

August 04, 2005 2:03 PM  
Anonymous lunkheadwithanopion said...

does your mom know about this

August 04, 2005 2:30 PM  
Anonymous lunkheadwithanopion said...

does your mom know about this

August 04, 2005 2:30 PM  
Blogger San Francisco Taxi Driver said...

Sounds like a good day.

August 04, 2005 3:12 PM  
Blogger Candee said...

Um, get your stop,drop,and roll practice in now, no way you'll get it done with a dorsal!

August 04, 2005 3:22 PM  
Blogger Kerri said...

I want a wristband! Hahaha. I love the inmate pic you posted of him, too. Hahahahah.

August 04, 2005 3:46 PM  
Blogger Yer Daddy said...

These official profiles just in:

EDDIE: aka "The Whitest Man in America"

STRUMPET: 14 year old boy posing as a female nymphomaniac, hoping to elicit some "naughty stuff"

RACHEL: Moonsick Canuk having an imaginary affair with the nonexistent Brian because...

BRIAN: No longer here, but stored in a cryogenic state in a vault deep in the hills in Moab, Utah because...

CASUAL FRIDAY: Now owned and operated by a multimedia conglomerate out of Kyoto, Japan, but with a satellite office in Sarasota, FL where they extract Brian's brain waves via satellite.

FREEDO: Are you kidding? Who could figure this guy out?

August 04, 2005 3:52 PM  
Blogger allison said...

I love Fredo!

August 04, 2005 4:15 PM  
Blogger tempegirl said...

ha ha ha ha ha! great list.....

August 04, 2005 4:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Friends:

Greetings: I am a retired attorney. A few years ago a man
came to me with a letter. He asked me to verify the fact that this was legal to do. I told him I would review it and get back to him. When I first read the letter my client brought me, I thought it was some "off-the-wall" idea to make money. A week and a half later we met in my office to discuss the issue. I told him the letter he originally brought me was not 100% legal. My client then asked me to alter it to make it perfectly legal. I asked him to make one small change in the letter. I was still curious about the letter, so he explained to me how it works. I thought it seemed like a long shot, so I decided against participating. But before my client left, I asked him to keep me updated on his results. About two months later, he called me to tell me he had received over $800,000 in cash. I didn't believe him, so he asked me to try this idea and find out for myself. I thought about it for a couple of days and decided I really didn't have anything to lose, so I asked him for a copy of the letter. I followed the instructions exactly, mailed 200 copies, and sure enough, the money started coming in! It arrived slowly at first but coming in nonetheless. I kept a precise record of the earnings, and in the end, it totaled $978,493! I could hardly believe it. I met with my friend for lunch to find out exactly how it worked. He told me there are quite a few similar letters around, but this one is different because there are six names at the end of the letter, not five like some others. This fact alone results in your name being in far more returns. The other fact was the help I gave him, making sure the whole thing was legal, since no one wants to take the risk of doing something illegal.

By now you are surely curious to know what small changes to make. If you sent a letter like this one out, in order to be completely legal, you must actually sell something in order to receive a dollar in return. So when you send a dollar to each of the names on the list, you must include these words, "PLEASE PUT ME ON YOUR MAILING LIST" and include your name and address. This is the key to the program. The item you will receive for the dollar you sent to the six people below is the letter. At the time I first tried this idea, I was earning a good living as a lawyer. But everyone in the legal profession will tell you there is a lot of stress that comes with the job. I told myself if things worked out, I would retire from my practice and play golf. I decided to try the
letter again, but this time I sent 500 copies. Three months later, I had totaled $2,341,178! Here are a few reasons a person might give for not trying this program: Some people think they can never make a lot of money with anything this simple. Some are afraid they will be ridiculed for trying Some dream of large sums of money, but do nothing to actually achieve it. Some are just plain lazy. Some are afraid of losing their investment. They think this program is designed to beat them out of a few dollars. The system works if you will just try it. But you must follow the simple instructions EXACTLY, and in less than three months, you will receive $800,000 GUARANTEED! Keep what you are doing to yourself for awhile. Many will tell you it won't work and will try to talk you out of your dreams. Let them know of your success after it works.


Larry McMahon, Norfolk, VA Six months ago, I received this letter and ignored it. Five more came within a period of time and I ignored them also. I was tempted, but I was convinced that they were just a Hoax. After three weeks of deliberating, I decided to give it a try (not
expecting much). Two weeks went by and nothing happened. The fourth week was unbelievable! I can't say I received $800,000 but I received $400,000. For the first time in years, I am debt free. I am doing this again, only this time starting with 500 posts.

INSTRUCTIONS: Immediately send $1.00 to each of the six people on the list at the end of this letter. Wrap the dollar bill in a note saying "Please add me to your mailing list" and include your name and address. Copy this letter. You do not have to type it 200 times. Simply place your cursor at the top of the page, hold it and drag it all the way
down to the end of the letter. Then click on "edit" and select "copy". Now open up a notepad file on your computer and put the cursor at the top of the page in the notepad, click on 'edit' and then select 'paste' and it will copy the letter for you onto your computer. Remove the name next to the #1 on the list and move the rest of the names up one position (#2 becomes #1, #3 becomes #2, etc.....) Then place your name in the #6 position. Then save it, make sure it is saved as a txt. file. This is very a very important step! When you have completed the instructions, take this letter and then go to (Google,Yahoo,Craigslist...) and type in (Money Making Message-board, or POST NEW MESSAGE OR JUST TYPE POST MESSAGE(THIS IS MUCH EASIER AND FASTER),...) and start posting your copy to 200 message boards, or more this is only the minimum, you can post as much as you like...The more copies you send the better the results. Keep a copy of this letter so you can use it a second time. Post it out again in six months, but Post it with the addresses you receive with each dollar. It will work better the second time. NOTE: This service is 100% legal - (Refer to title 18 section 1302 of the U.S. Postal & lottery laws) How does it work? When you send out 200 Posts, it is estimated that at least 15 people will respond and send you a $1.00. ($15.00) Those 15 will Post 200 Posts each and 225 people send you $1.00 ($225.00) Those 225 people Post 200 Posts each and 3,375 people send you $1.00
($3,375.00) Those 3,375 people will post 200 posts each and 50,625 people send you $1.00 ($50,625.00) Those 50,625 people will post 200 posts each and 759,375 people send you $1.00 ($759,375.00) At this point your name drops off the list, but so far you have received $813,615.00. P.S. When your money begins to come in, give the first 10% to charity with spirit and share a good fortune!

Johnathon Stolzenberg 930 W. 35th Place Chicago IL, 60609
Craig Woods 8921 W. Courtland Ave. Milwaukee, WI 53225
Carrie Arashiba PO Box 14968 Minneapolis, MN 55414
Joseph Millette 131 Treadway Lane Londonderry, NH 03053
Leslie Duke 1020 E. McLeod Sapulpa, OK 74066
Marc Harris 309 East 108th St. #3G, New York, NY 10029

This really, really, works! I tried it once and I'm doing it again. First to be honest I only posted 145 posts and I didn't receive a lot only $6,689.00 in 3 months, at least this means that it really works, so this time I'm posting 604 posts and I've got so far in 2 months $15,640.00 this is really like a dream come true. So go on and try it...
trust me, you've got nothing to lose.... Important tip - Cover money by paper fully by which it can not been seen in light, because postal employees do cheat some times....ok. THIS IS YOUR CHANCE. THE PLAN IS SO SIMPLE, IT'S ELEGANT. DO NOT DELAY. START RIGHT NOW! YOUR RISK IS ABOUT $6 AS I SEE IT. THIS IS A LEGIMATE BUSINESS VENTURE THAT RESULTS IN TAXABLE INCOME. BE SURE TO FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS TO THE LETTER IF YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH BECOMING WEALTHY! GOOD LUCK.

August 04, 2005 4:46 PM  

The *REAL* question is What Would P. Diddy Do?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

August 04, 2005 4:55 PM  
Blogger allison said...

what a scam!!

August 04, 2005 5:35 PM  
Blogger Jeremiah said...

Nice lol. A day that is worth having. Where's the dorsal fin going to be? I want one of those wristbands, brilliant idea.

August 04, 2005 5:43 PM  
Blogger Steven Rawski said...

I would take that $1,000 bet - that is kick ass.

August 04, 2005 6:04 PM  
Blogger N/A said...

I do so love you! LOL! BTW...would a dorsal fin really work???

August 04, 2005 6:08 PM  
Blogger blair said...

Marry me! We can fragrant the world with our farts and ponder the absurd together.

August 04, 2005 6:43 PM  
Blogger austinizer said...

It's more like "what 13 year old wouldn't r. kelly do?"

August 04, 2005 7:23 PM  
Blogger Guvnah said...

Man you are really funny thanks for the laughs!

August 04, 2005 8:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Boobies have names. Find out what yours are called.

Type in your name and submit.

Frodo rocks!

WTF with the chain letter.

August 04, 2005 9:14 PM  
Blogger gunngirl said...

Now I see why people hide comments.

beernazi--you didn't know who R.Kelly was?

Zack Morris? LOL. Can I be Lisa?

Just what would you be using your dorsal fin for in your sex life? I fear for the answer.

August 04, 2005 11:09 PM  
Blogger Strumpet said...

Well, since you figured me out, Daddy...if you're ever into doin' it R. Kelly style with a 14-yr-old, I'd be more than happy to wrap-on a strap-on for you and pretend to be a boy.

I'm definitely down with roleplay.

August 04, 2005 11:28 PM  
Blogger Strumpet said...

Fredo can watch, as long as he promises to wear those white leather pants.

August 04, 2005 11:32 PM  
Blogger Yer Daddy said...

ewwwww. I'm out. I take it all back.

August 05, 2005 12:08 AM  
Blogger MiSs DiTzY said...

hey i luv ur stuff, keep it coming! btw, im australian and ive only seen a few people rubbing themselves with maple syrup! it sounds v. yummy!!!

August 05, 2005 12:14 AM  
Blogger John Bryson said...

If I had a dollar for every time I asked myself "what would R. Kelly do", I'd have about 18 bucks.

August 05, 2005 3:28 AM  
Blogger Curious1 said...

Fredo's hair do is bangin'!!!

August 05, 2005 5:48 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Awesome! I've been looking for a good get rich quick scheme and this one seems so sound. You only have to assume that 7.5% of the population are idiots.

Personally, I think the number is much higher, so I'm expecting much better results.

August 05, 2005 6:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, uh, i think i love you a little bit.

August 05, 2005 7:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yep, yep i do.

August 05, 2005 7:41 AM  
Blogger ~GS said...

that's the best laugh I've had in a while! (just came to your blog randomly)

August 05, 2005 8:41 AM  
Blogger Strumpet said...


...Fredo doesn't have to watch.

Fredo, can I borrow your white leather pants? Preferably before Labor Day.

August 05, 2005 9:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

damn! fredo's hair and sideburns always steal brian's thunder!

August 05, 2005 9:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, Brian, I know you get close to 100 comments a day, but in addition to reading your completely hilarious blog, I love reading your witty comebacks to the people that comment on your blog.

Be it as it may, it is true most of them aren't worth commenting on.....

August 05, 2005 9:23 AM  
Blogger Friends of McDougal said...

1. Baked huge tray of heroin-laced muffins for daughter's cheer camp.
2. Entered long-term symbiotic relationship with a mollusk.
3. Spent three hours debunking Jungian philosophies of collective unconscious.'
4. Later ate 20-piece chicken nugget meal without questioning the make-up of various chicken pieces, each molded to look like the state of Maine. Wondered if native Americans or early continental settlers would eat such a concoction. Then was compelled at an unconscious level to fight fry cook. Re-thought #3.
5. Spent a few hours in county lock-up. Met man named Latrice, who taught me to beat box.
6. Upon release, practiced my new musical abilities on nearby street corner.
7. Beaten unconscious by roving band of street thugs.
8. Mollusk entered "trial separation" period, based on accused breech of contract on my part.
9. Called McDonald's corporate headquarters, asked for secret nugget recipe and/or contents. Both were refused, citing "trade secrets".
10. Traded my watch, pants, and one shoe for 9-foot donkey and set out on cross country trek to raise money/awareness for stem cell research.

August 05, 2005 9:43 AM  
Blogger Yours Truly...Conman said...

Well how u gonna win that bet though? The one you laid a bet with isn't gonna be there is he? or is he the one taking your interview?!
Would be funny nevertheless, if that really happens. Think i'm gonna try it just to see how the losers in front of me react!

August 05, 2005 10:21 AM  
Blogger micahp said...

I love your wishlist.

August 05, 2005 10:41 AM  
Blogger platkat said...

Funny you should mention that you're Zack Morris... I just watched "Saved by the Bell: The College Years" for the first time this morning at the gym. Throw in AC Slater and we got ourselves a good sammich! Yum!

August 05, 2005 10:53 AM  
Blogger Jason said...

A dorsal fin aint gonna work for me unless I was gonna get it on with a dolphin! Am gonna try "Mission accomplished!" real soon!

August 05, 2005 11:53 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

most people run the other way when they see a dorsal fin...

August 05, 2005 1:46 PM  
Blogger Blondie said...

how'd that stopping, dropping and rolling go for you?

August 05, 2005 2:10 PM  
Blogger austinizer said...

I'd stop drop and roll on you girl

August 05, 2005 2:34 PM  
Blogger Friends of McDougal said...

Yo, Brian. I'm guessing maybe many are not as familiar with the phrase "sportin' a dorsal" as maybe you thought?

Or maybe it's difficult to draw that fine line b/w the literal and the absurd.

I always go literal.

It's the way Jesus would want it.

Jesus and Justice Rhenquist.

Oh, and Lord Cribbage.

Of course.

August 05, 2005 3:08 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

That Dorsal Fin thingy had me in fits... it's fun to imagine a "typical YOU" through your highlights...i love your blog!

August 05, 2005 3:23 PM  
Blogger Frank The Tank said...

HAHA, dude that's fucking funny shit! I'd throw in on that bet if we could get the interview on camera! holy shit, can you imagine the face of the people interviewing you? brilliance!

August 05, 2005 3:34 PM  
Blogger Joshua said...

Highlights of the Day.

1. Woke up to mr.woody at attention
2. Realized mr.woody needed attention
3. Laid around until 7:56AM when I was supposed to be at work at 8:00AM.
4. Showed up twenty minutes late to work.
5. Did my usual porn surfing through with the security filter off.
6. Surfed Craigslist for a new job.
7. Took a dump.
8. Ate some Ice Cream
9. Paid my car payment.
10. Wrote these highlights.

August 05, 2005 3:40 PM  
Blogger Kristen said...

Shouldn't those wristbands say "Who would R. Kelly do?". Just a thought. By the way, I dig your blog.

August 05, 2005 3:56 PM  
Blogger American Girl said...

very funny. i added your link to my blog and stole your idea for the day. thanx

August 05, 2005 3:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're hilarious!!!

August 05, 2005 6:38 PM  
Blogger Brian said...

Fuckin' hilarious shit, man!! BRAVO!! "The applause!"

August 05, 2005 6:57 PM  
Blogger Chelsea's Mama said...

Very witty blog!

August 05, 2005 7:11 PM  
Blogger used*to*be*me* said...

Hey man. I love this blog. You remind me of my long lost brother. Thanks for that. I hope you don't mind I've added your link to my blog. Keep up the good work.

August 05, 2005 7:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

August 05, 2005 7:23 PM  
Anonymous Hair Club said...


All you wanna-be Fredo fans better back the "F" up because I aint letting anyone get their hands on that swamp butt before me! So y'all just better get back in line, ya hear!

Man... drives me crazy thinking about those white leather pants.

August 05, 2005 9:18 PM  
Blogger Xtine said...

you have very interesting days, and I love reading about them!

Do you think honey has the same SPF as syrup?

August 05, 2005 9:31 PM  
Blogger katie's brain said...

A dorsal fin...did you come to any conclusions about what that would do for your sex life? I'm just wondering if you think it would be a positive or a negative thing.

August 05, 2005 9:38 PM  
Blogger little kernel said...

having a dorsal fin would make me irrestible with the ladies!

August 05, 2005 10:14 PM  
Blogger Just A Diabetic said...

Gave you my 2 cents.

August 06, 2005 12:41 AM  
Blogger messedupmuggle said...

i think you are a bit dumm, dude, you should seriously think about getting a life. And by the way, I dont think people really enjoy hearing about your farts

August 06, 2005 12:52 AM  
Blogger Twisted Chick said...

I needed the laughs...I'll be back

August 06, 2005 1:46 AM  
Blogger Strumpet said...

Muggle Person:

Hearing about Boy Friday's farts gets me wet.

Speak for yourself.

Remember, just because you may be disgusted by something doesn't mean it ain't turnin' somebody else on.

August 06, 2005 2:08 AM  
Anonymous Danyella said...

Messedupmugglechick::: funny you should comment like that, when , on your own profile, one of YOUR interests is "Being totally pointless"

August 06, 2005 2:53 AM  
Blogger Luna said...

I LOVE this is the funniest thing and a well worth blog to look at. I was truly laughing outloud! Way to GO!

August 06, 2005 4:18 AM  
Blogger Miranda said...

Awesome Blog man, keep it up!

August 06, 2005 5:58 AM  
Blogger austinizer said...

monkey see monkey do

August 06, 2005 11:31 AM  
Blogger larin von smartass said...

if andy milunakis is 27, is that really kidnapping? or at that point is it just stealing?

[this is in response to the aug. 1 post because my computer wouldn't connect to those comments.]

August 06, 2005 12:49 PM  
Blogger ~*Bettie said...

I wanna la-la-la lick you from your head to your toes and I wanna,
Move from the bed down to tha- down to tha- to tha floor. . .

August 06, 2005 12:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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August 06, 2005 1:13 PM  
Blogger Hobbosocks said...

I had just deciede I would start reading someones blog randomly, cuz it'd be cool to keep up to date with someone i've never mets life...and I clicked on urs quite randomly, very very funny but seems like i'm not the only person reading this one! lol. *Depressing* So I shall move on to some like myselves blog, without 118 comments! lol. xxx

August 06, 2005 1:40 PM  
Blogger pickle_children said...

hilariouse dawling.. u hav a wonderful life and i quote: Boobs are great!

August 06, 2005 2:53 PM  
Blogger saby said...

, , Shannon directed me here
she said ur HILARIOUS
, ,

she is mistaken

August 06, 2005 7:21 PM  
Blogger Thaozee said...

What about Ja? Someone get me Ja! What would Ja do!?
Dorsel fins are a sore point when puberty kicks around.

August 07, 2005 12:40 AM  
Blogger Server Girl said...

i love reading your highlights of the day...they are really funny! I will add u to my links...

August 07, 2005 3:10 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

Funny, funny, funny! Thanks for making my dimal sunday at work a little more bareable...I also think boobs are great, especially when you have your own to play with! Keep it up.

August 07, 2005 6:11 AM  
Blogger Sumire-chan said...

I just randomly stumbled upon this blog(like so many others) and I must say: I love you.
You are wonderful.
And reading your highlights just brightend my day.

Oh! And boobs ARE great, yay!

August 07, 2005 8:09 AM  
Blogger johnistpropaganda said...

what would r kelly do? short answer: he would pee on a bitch. long answer: he would pee on a 15 year old ho, video tape it, get caught, and then make millions selling a truly terrible 12 part rap-opera album. thats what an r kelly would do. its the american dream in action. and a dorsal fin adds exactly 152 new maneuvers to ones sexual toolkit.

August 07, 2005 9:21 AM  
Blogger Strumpet said...

Wow, John. 152 new maneuvers, huh?

What an extensive imagination you have.

I'm impressed.

And very turned on.

Now, I need to go find me a man with a dorsal...

August 07, 2005 9:37 AM  
Blogger Danius Maximus said...

I'll tell you what R Kelly would do, he would keep making god aweful soap opera videos and then paying VH1 to play them every other minute until they are burned into my freakin skull!!

August 07, 2005 9:39 AM  
Blogger MK said...

you are absolutely hilarious.

p.s. yes, boobs are great. i like mine.

August 07, 2005 11:24 AM  
Blogger arzenne said...

hey my friend
I like your closing there boobs are great you have inspired me to write mine
cock is wonderful

August 07, 2005 3:04 PM  
Blogger funkysmell said...


August 07, 2005 5:08 PM  
Blogger Lake Allison said...

ohhh yeah
poke me with that dorsal
that smooth hard rubbery dorsal..

August 07, 2005 8:06 PM  
Blogger Just Me said...

Dude, you are hilarious! I need to check back often. The "What Would R. Kelly do?" is what got me. Can I buy one of those?

August 07, 2005 8:51 PM  
Blogger Strumpet said...


I like you a lot.

Cock IS wonderful.

August 07, 2005 9:44 PM  
Blogger Steve Guzman said...

I'm jealous of your massive amount of comments! Makes me feel so... unloved.

August 14, 2005 10:12 PM  
Blogger ADDISON CADE said...


August 16, 2005 2:37 PM  

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