Highlights of My Day
1. Snotted when I sneezed...I have no clue where it went
2. Began my plans to date a Jewish girl during this holiday season, just to celebrate Christmikah like they do on the O.C.
3. Put in a bid on E-bay motors for an '85 short bus
4. Finally decided what I will go as for Halloween 2005.....Sarah Jessica Parker
5. Day dreamed about playing bacce ball with Nick Nolte (and yes...that is his autograph)
6. Totally got caught singing Foot Loose while waiting at a stop light
7. Called U-Haul to see "how many immigrants they thought I could pile up in the back of one of those things"
8. Wondered if Chelsea Clinton ever grew out of her "awkward stage"
9. Dared my buddy to go into work tomorrow with grass stains on his suit pants
10. Asked my grandma to convince my mom into giving me an allowance again
2. Began my plans to date a Jewish girl during this holiday season, just to celebrate Christmikah like they do on the O.C.
3. Put in a bid on E-bay motors for an '85 short bus
4. Finally decided what I will go as for Halloween 2005.....Sarah Jessica Parker
5. Day dreamed about playing bacce ball with Nick Nolte (and yes...that is his autograph)
6. Totally got caught singing Foot Loose while waiting at a stop light
7. Called U-Haul to see "how many immigrants they thought I could pile up in the back of one of those things"
8. Wondered if Chelsea Clinton ever grew out of her "awkward stage"
9. Dared my buddy to go into work tomorrow with grass stains on his suit pants
10. Asked my grandma to convince my mom into giving me an allowance again
posted by immixmarketer at 4:07 PM
61 Comments:
Are you going to keep the logo on the short bus if you win? Nick Nolte looks pretty cleaned up there - must be an old photo.
Fo Shazzy my Nazzy
Now that's class. ;-) I'm wondering now who you will smuggle on your short bus (and also why I'm not doing something more productive).
would you believe that Chelsea Clinton did actually get over that awkward phase, I was reading some trashy womans magazine on my lunch-break the other day (because there was nothing better at work) and they had a plastic surgery expose. Chelsea featured extensivley. I hate to think what the american tax-payer forked over to make that horses-arse look presentable
nice to have you back - i'm missing the lie of the day
What? No "fart of the day?" I guess the sneeze took its place...
In a 26" Super Mover you can have a pretty good orgy (8) + cameraman and boom mike operator. So multiply 10 * (the packing factor) - personal space = about 71 people and if you use the shelf...maybe 89 but that's pushing it!
Farts are a delicate issue. Some people can't pull off a really good fart thought, but I must say...I've laughed pretty hard at yours. For some reason farts are just funny for me.
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Brian, I'll go the Halloween Party with you as Kim Cattrall & get all the guys b/c you'll have a horse face.
- MW
Although SJP as Carrie has true fashion flair...
The snot sneeze is awkward. So is the :mouthful of dip sneeze".
I was going to say that one was worse, but upon further reflection, I think not.
When you spit out a moutful of tobacco, you can kind of spin that as "tough cowboy."
Unplanned ejection of phlegm immediatlely brands you as a "spaz" with no control over your bodily functions and prompts laughter.
While launching tobacco might create the image of a tough cowboy who's maybe just inhaled some pepper or pollen.
While ejection of mucous should be directed away from bystanders, launching tobacco is ideally directed at your favorite liberal.
Allowence ROCKS!!
your granny sounds cool.
:O) Good good
I'd like an allowance...
One time after I sneezed, I looked at my hand and thought that I saw Chelsea Clinton, with grass stains on her pants, playing bocce ball in the back of a u-hall truck with Nick Nolte dressed up like Sarah Jessica Parker and a bunch of immigrants that were singing Footloose.
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Let me know if that allowance thing works out, I'm so gonna try it too. I'm often told I look like SJP, (not a complement if you ask me) but let me know if you need any tips, it's all in the nose and hair style evidently.
I'd play Bocce Ball with you and Nick, I just learned how to play!
My boss is Jewish, so we should start celebrating Chrismikah in the office.
nice blog...great material. didn't they find nick nolte living in a trash can or something? as for chelsea...man was she ugly as a kid. she looks ok now but i'm wondering if she had some work done.
We love your blog and thought you might like the one we've just kicked off: Seven Deadly Cynics.
All best,
the s.d.c.
I've always wanted to do it on a schoolbus....so, uhh...if your bid is accepted...give me a call sometime.
I've always wanted to do it with a guy dressed in drag on Halloween. This Halloween I'm going to be a dead candy striper. So, if you're into necrophilia...
Daddy, is your condition contagious? Sneeze once for no and twice for yes. Preferably in close proximity of myself, if yes.
Chewing tobacco...ew.
Your Friday postings always make me smile and make me feel good! I so need it this morning:) As for sneezing snot well I've never been very lady like when it comes to sneezing in a nice, cultured way.
you rock and are cute
highlight of my day will be:
getting my hair ripped out with hot wax
and
finding out i did not get the job i applied to
and
karaoke night (careless whisper)
mine is ladieslunch.blogspot.com
Chelsea is money in the bank baby...
http://r2000.blogspot.com
With that short bus, you will be Big Pimpin'! ;) Throw some spinnin rims on there and a install a loud ass stero along with some video monitors behind the head rests and you will be DA MAN!
*thinking you should call Pimp My Ride to get the West Coast Customs hook up*
How many immigrants can you fit in a u-haul? WHat did the sales person say? That sounds like something I would do... you're giving me ideas. That's not necessarily a good thing.
Brilliant stuff. Love the blog.
Very funny and clever. Will come back to read more.
if you lived in fl, you could go to bithlo (redneck capital of the world outside orlando) and race your new short bus in the figure 8 schoolbus races. oh, and they sell schlitz too.
You have Nolte's autograph...that's cool. But...you'll graduate to Way Cool when you get him to sign his inmate photo...
And, I'm gonna need you to get a picture of that happening, because that's gonna be some funny stuff...
sdk
11. Found the snot that I sneezed earlier.
Haha, Christmakuh. I'll convert and tell you if it's worth it.
I just love your blog!! Thanks for making me laugh so hard milk came out my nose. ;)
A reclusive madman who farts a lot, on a shortbus, with a harem of immigrants.
That's so fucking sexy.
I fuckin sneez if it really bright outside. Why is that?
i LOVE shot-shooting. Pity you didn't see where it went. If it landed on someone's shoulder you could've taken a pic!
Please please please can I ride on the short bus? I'm "special"!!
totally off topic... but gleaming the cube is a great flick :)
Thanks for making me laugh the hardest I've laughed all day :)
quality work
http://rawski.blogspot.com/
AWESOME ..Now thats thinking ..
I just started my own blog today, while taking a break I noticed yours listed in the Bloggers "Blogs of Note" and checked it out... You are a ray of sunshine coming through my darkness... I haven't laughed sooo fucking hard in quite some time... I will be here every Friday from now on...=)
Hey! I liked your site...it made me laugh. Check out mine-- I can't promise that it will be as funny as yours is though, www.christies-hot.blogspot.com Well, talk to you later
Brian, you need to have a show with all of this funny material. This is truly your calling. Even though you never mentioned farts in this post, there's still alot of comments about them which only validates my theory of people's obsession with them. What's up with that? Is is the sound they make, or the smell? What is the anal facination here? No comprehende`...
you're funny. i've been reading a while. this is the first time i've looked at the comments. sorry you get all the dumbest comments i've ever seen, on any blog, ever. are chicks always like this?
What's really funny is when a chick posts the same dumb comment three times in a row.
She must really like you, Brian.
New update new update!
http://r2000.blogspot.com
Strumpet-I agree,although i bet it was a mistake somehow...hopefully.
I agree with you too Alex, I'm feenin' for a new update!
Love the immigrants in the back of the UHAUL! That's just plain wrong but hilarious! I once saw a bumper sticker in L.A. that said "Mexicans...we don't die, we multiply." It was funny.
hahah..this blog is fularious... so glad i found it! def a new daily read! :)
er friday blogs? as in ONCE a week...
Being jewish girl, I must say we dont think too highly of celebrating christmikah, as you would call it. We mostly stick to the ole 'hebrew g-d' high holidays.
Who cares lacy... Why does every religion make people totally concerned with themselvs and telling others about how they like things?
VERY FUCKING FUNNY - SHIT NICE
Am I the 100th comment? Yipee!!!!!
I think you rock and are cute too. Have a good summer. Call me.
Fredo
Hey Alex, go to hell!!
Having a Christmikah like on the OC would be pretty amazing.
Well, good luck with the allowance ;-) Listen, check out this blog >> SEO Bible
tip of the day
Things get funny when your husband or dude cant stop talking about your ex. you wonder whether his insecure or just plain boring.
so what do you do when you absolutely have no time for such an unproductive behaviour?
Suck your finger and say, honey i love you.
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