Highlights of My Day
1. Started a competitive hop-scotch league
2. Let out a fart that I swear sounded like my ass said, "Huh?"
3. Wondered if anyone ever mistook mace for binaca
4. Found a calculator under my bed...spelled out "BOOBS"
5. Remembered how spelling "BOOBIES" was, and is, the only thing that has ever made me laugh harder
6. Deep fried a potato
7. Took off the door sign from the Work Out room, and put it on my neighbors door
8. Unsuccessfully attempted to break my all-time record for consecutive hours sitting on the couch
9. Wondered if anyone has ever beaten my elementary school Fit for Life record in "Sit and Reach"
10. Began making what will one day become the largest foil ball ever
2. Let out a fart that I swear sounded like my ass said, "Huh?"
3. Wondered if anyone ever mistook mace for binaca
4. Found a calculator under my bed...spelled out "BOOBS"
5. Remembered how spelling "BOOBIES" was, and is, the only thing that has ever made me laugh harder
6. Deep fried a potato
7. Took off the door sign from the Work Out room, and put it on my neighbors door
8. Unsuccessfully attempted to break my all-time record for consecutive hours sitting on the couch
9. Wondered if anyone has ever beaten my elementary school Fit for Life record in "Sit and Reach"
10. Began making what will one day become the largest foil ball ever
posted by immixmarketer at 10:00 PM
47 Comments:
Ahhhhh....you're back!
#8 - THATS why we havent gotten a post!
Welcome back man...the masses thank you.
I'm the king of hop-scotch !!!!
Hey Brian!
I've got a couple of new calculator words for you to try....my students showed me some of these....
Type and turn upside down:
1) 5317738
2) 32008
3) 35006
4) 37816173
5) 8075
6) 45075
7) 35380
8) 317.618
I hope you enjoy! Let me know if any of 'em stump you!
-Rach-
call me when it's time to hop-scotch. i won the san diego women's division back in 97'. i'll take on anybody. just name the place and i'll be there!
Boobies is good, but when you are really 1337 at calculator speak, you can spell things like apothecary.
http://r2000.blogspot.com
Boobies is good on a calculator or otherwise. Yay for flapjacks and melons!
Hey you don't know me but I came across you're blog. Got me in stitches :D Tab x
I've had that fart. My husband had one once that said "Brie". Now whenever we see a plate of brie at a social function we laugh. And don't eat it.
Nice work, Brian.
Today is still young, but some things I did yesterday:
1. Crossed a collapsible drinking cup with my old "missing link" puzzle game. By the time you get the damn thing open, you're not thirsty anymore.
2. Mooned the window washer from my 23rd floor office. Later was beaten unconscious by same window washer.
3. Called my grandmother, pretended to be Dwight Eisenhower. Convinced her to enlist in the Coast Guard.
4. One word: Bran muffins.
5. Actually, that's two words. Enrolled in self-help program for functioning retards.
6. Organized bacon eating contest with neighbors. Won by default when just before contest started, announced all bacon had to be consumed raw.
7. Replaced every song on my iPod with "Sailing" by Christopher Cross.
8. Later, replaced Sailing with "Jump" by Kriss Kross.
The Mac Dad will make you
Jump! Jump!
The Daddy Mac will make you
Jump! Jump!
Kris Kross will make you
Jump! Jump!
9. Spent several hours in truck stop bathroom revisiting my earlier decisions regarding raw bacon and bran muffins.
10. Held breath for an extended period, then paid homeless man to walk my cats around the building ... on the ledge.*
~~~
LOL
Let us play "Marco Polo" you fuckin ass clown!
No way that your sit and reach record is even close to mine. When I was a kid, I could easily put my palms on the floor when I was standing up, which is pretty flexible for a boy.
So funny! You cheered me up today, was feeling kind of blue. Thanks!
OMG.. I remember being in Algebra class in like middle school spelling out boobs!! I had forgotten until now.
My farts are dainty, like Queen Elizabeth saying, "Who?"
Kinda a waste of metal...
http://r2000.blogspot.com
The last five times I have been at a pool or the beach I have witnessed a hairy fat guy with a nut hanging out of his bathing suit. I believe 7 is the record, but I'm not looking forward to the next two trips.
hop-scotch is for losers. what about rubberband balls, the rock! i have to say this blog is like crack...you get all upset when we don't see a post and then when we do see one is awesome. way to keep us hanging. like they say in hollywood, always leave them wanting more.
You steal your highlights from Joey McConnell!!!!!
You are an unfunny thief, however you are 1 million times funnier than the people who comment here.
For you commenters just because his rip-offed blog makes you laugh does not give you permission to try and be funny because your not
Suck my balls
Brent holl isn't very friendly, eh? Who needs permission to be funny jackass?! Lighten up.
Top Ten Things Brent Holl did today:
1. Furious Masturbation
2 - 10. See #1.
Boobies are great no matter where ya find them....
Hop-scotch is gay. Unless you have one leg.
Not eating brie any more. There's the ass clown again. That IS funny.
I don't know who the fuck Brent Holl is....but, if he masturbates furiously...he's my kind of man, as long as he lets me watch.
As to how funny he is, I couldn't tell you.
I don't know how much Brian masturbates, but he's damn hilarious and makes me smile. Always a good thing.
I beat the shit out of Brent Holl the other day while I was driving for some beer in my camero and mesh tube-top.
A Camaro AND that hair...
You really ARE the full package.
You rock, Mr. Teabaggins!
you forgot to add #11. jerked off to animal porn.
You didn't want to put "work out room" above your bed?
(shaking my head in disappointment)
Wow, some people really have a lot of spare time with a calculator.
it's amaizing what some people can accomplish with only a couple of brain cells. too funny.
Thoughts of vodka-
Vodka is good,
Vodka is great,
Drunk driving with Vodka,
Is testing your fate,
Isn't a deep fried potatoe a french fry???
As Cat Stevens once sang in Tea for the Tillerman, "When I masturbate, I masturbate furiously."
Although I might be confusing it with a Yusuf Islam lyric.
thats right... You'd have to cut the Fucker up first! *lol*
Is it just me, or are there lots of guys obsessed with flatulence? I work with a guy who's totally hooked on farts. Funny stuff..ha ha
I always sucked at "Sit and Reach." My legs are abnormally long, and I can't even reach my feet, let alone PAST them.
It was humiliating, and you just reminded me of the pain. *CRIES*
(By the way, your blog rocks the hizouse).
i don't think you will beat Pee Wee's foil ball
Sit and reach? Didn't you opt out of that, like all the other kids, and go for a smoko in the back?
lol...
Amusing
I once confused mace for binaca...
Wound up with a good smelling criminal.
HAHA I though you said
Wondered if anyone ever mistook "my face" for binaca and I got all excited. But thenI re-read it!
I rule at Hop scotch but I liked Sit and Spin better! ;)
I love to burp or fart real loud and watch my friends look at me in dismay and say,"Did that just come out of you!" It is truly hilarious!
I was once at a function where it was talking about the 7 types of DUTY and my friends and I heard DOODY and promtly came up with 7 types
1.diareha
2.consitpation
3.sharts (crap farts)
4.puff--slimes (you puff but slime comes out)
5. runny farts
6. HUGE craps (the OMG this thing is huge kind)
7.consta-reha Constipation and Diareha mix
Johnny, I thought Pee Wee had a Big Adventure... Not a foil ball! *lol*
You forgot "turbble" which is a turd bubble. Or the "Big Ol' Cobra" which is a crap that coils and coils and then pokes its head out of the water, as if to strike.
You said BOOBS
I had "60" on the sit and reach. Beat that.
Hey just wondering... what is you record for sit and reach???
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