Highlights of My Day
1. Stood behind a guy who either shit his pants, or didn't know his shirt was in the way when he was wiping off his ass
2. Discovered my newest fear: not knowing my shirt got in the way while wiping my ass at work
3. Saw a bum pretend there was an earthquake happening when a large woman walked past him, it was then that I realized; bums can be entertaining even when their not pissing in the middle of a busy street
4. Tried to order a fat-free thick burger at Carl's Junior (Hardees)
5. Nominated the next hurricane to be named hurricane "That Fucker"
6. Spent the rest of my afternoon watching CNN and replacing "Katrina" with "That Fucker"
-There's no telling how many people have been affected by That Fucker
-White House officials are being blamed for the choas That Fucker left behind
-Well as you can see Bob, That Fucker just came roaring right through this entire city
-One thing is for certain; That Fucker will cost the American tax payers billions
7. Was glad to see that hidden camera I installed in my room is being put to good use
8. Tried to find on job on Monster.com using "pimp" as my keyword
9. Louie Anderson was spelled out in my bowl of Alphabet Soup
10. Robbed a gas station to pay for my gas
2. Discovered my newest fear: not knowing my shirt got in the way while wiping my ass at work
3. Saw a bum pretend there was an earthquake happening when a large woman walked past him, it was then that I realized; bums can be entertaining even when their not pissing in the middle of a busy street
4. Tried to order a fat-free thick burger at Carl's Junior (Hardees)
5. Nominated the next hurricane to be named hurricane "That Fucker"
6. Spent the rest of my afternoon watching CNN and replacing "Katrina" with "That Fucker"
-There's no telling how many people have been affected by That Fucker
-White House officials are being blamed for the choas That Fucker left behind
-Well as you can see Bob, That Fucker just came roaring right through this entire city
-One thing is for certain; That Fucker will cost the American tax payers billions
7. Was glad to see that hidden camera I installed in my room is being put to good use
8. Tried to find on job on Monster.com using "pimp" as my keyword
9. Louie Anderson was spelled out in my bowl of Alphabet Soup
10. Robbed a gas station to pay for my gas
posted by immixmarketer at 12:01 PM
51 Comments:
Sorry for the lack of material this week...been doing my best to help the relief efforts.
-please give what you can-
Sure have been feenin for day's highlights but I suppose relief for that fucker is well worthwhile.. Got my Friday fix...
Totally suport your efforts to name the next hurricane ..LOL
chowmein mao,
Well at least you don't check it everyday several times a day. Now that's pitiful.
I wish I could do more for the relief efforts. Anyone want to car pool from Chicago down to the Gulf Coast. I've got the time with my unemployed self, but I just don't have the gas money.
Damn THAT FUCKER!
Dude, nice to hear from you. I've been donating and avoiding the news.
You make a cameo apperance in my blog about carnies...come visit. i owe it all to you.
man, that shirt in the way of your ass thing is so nasty! LMAO
My new fear: Coming out of the bathroom & walking halfway down a hall full of 8th graders with my dress tucked into the back of my panty hose.
My new fear: someone finding out that *I* check this place everyday. Several times a day. And that Spinning Girl will quit posting all over blogland.
my word ver. jeirc. While I realize it could say "jerk", I see geriatric research center for the IRC challenged.
In high school a group of us girls would scream "HE'LL EAT US!" when a fat guy walked by us.
My new fear is being caught using company time to blog.
People who were stuck in That Fucker still haven't taken a shower. My friends who went to the Astrodome on Tuesday said it reeked to high heaven.
word ver - "egdyr" - Egg Dyer, that kit you buy at the dollar store the night before Easter to color the eggs, and that piece of shit falls apart and stains your counter red, blue, green and yellow.
The Astrodome probably will never recover from thousands of people forced to deficate where they slept..
Kinda like the Homeless you forementioned. I think it's sad to see our government fail on so many levels, starting with city and local who did not do near what they should have to prepare for this tragedy. Man, sorry for the vent, just needed to say my part!
try "mangina", see what happens...
man, that fucker sure is making bush look like a fucker - wait, he already does! (sorry, i'm canadian)
you watch jon stewart?
you make my fridays!! :)
NO NO...The Superdome (in NO,LA) is where they had to shit and sleep in the same spot. The Astrodome is in Houston, and it has working showers and restrooms, and the victims still didn't use them!
But I agree with you Candee, every part of this disaster was handled incorrectly. From local govn't in LA to federals to local govn't here in TX. It's all screwed up for everyone involved. And when do the refugees see the money given to the red cross?
I love how you can make something so serious and devastating as Katrina into something to hilarious! And pantomiming bums are cool... though some might be scary.
Could you also put "That Sonofabitch" into the running. "That Sonofabitch nearly wiped the whole town out!"
Geez, it's about dang time... I was having casual friday withdrawel... =)
Glad you're back, and kudos on support w/ the hurricane relief - I am confident your hurricane relief efforts will be just beneficial and appreciated as your comic relief efforts... keep up the good work!!
Yeah man I actually once posted available jobs on Monster for pimps but they rejected the offer...
It's all good baby!!! I once offered a guy some toilet paper cuz he smelled like Shiite
It's nice to hear that people are helping. Glad to see you back as well. Great post.
Thank God your back!
In KC, our homeless guys walk around cussing out no one. You should try it. It flips people out.
I think the people in the Astrodome are afraid someone will take their cot. Kudos on the relief efforts.
And finally, my cube smells like burning wires today. That can't be good.
So glad you are helping those who were affected by That Fucker! :) Keep up the good work!
Ahh... so that's where u were. Good boi for helping with That FUcker.
i really hate CNN tho...
Hmn, when I watched the news tonight I secretly said to myself "The Fucker" everytime they said Katrina. It made watching the news a little more fun through all the devastation. Maybe this should be a new drinking game as well. Drunk CNN! :-)
P.S. Glad you're back and yes every citizen in this country should do their part to help.
Cheers Mate! You done good. Love the gas station robbing bit! They have certainly been robbing us!!
Please don't tell me you ate Louie Anderson. Say it isn't so...
Enjoyed your list today and look forward to more.
BTW if you wear a brown shirt, you won't have to worry, right?
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Is there any way I can get these twins who posted just above me to sit on my face simultaneously?
That, Mad Hatter, was the funniest thing ever on this blog.
Good shit!
it's they're, not their... ugh...
Was behind a couple of women in Walmart tonight - said they were refugees (or whatever word we're supposed to use) from That Effer.
They paid with a hurrican relief card.
Put the card back into a Gucci wallet.
Put the Wallet into a Coach Purse.
We have another hurricane heading towards (in North Myrtle Beach) now - hope they're not made homeless again.
Your first point reminded me of an old fat friend who lost loads of weight and consequently had lots of flappy skin on his butt.
Needless to say, he wiped but the paper stayed clean.
Stupidly, he told me about it. I share it with you.
purplesimon out...
All funny except the gas one... Sorry.
p.s. Word Verification Sux.
The gas one was the funniest of them all. I am sure Louie Anderson would think so too.
Glad you are back, Friday Guy.
Went to Monster.com and searched for "pimp" as keyword.
There is a position open in:
IT Makeover ™, Casting Call for Senior Developers/Infrastructure Experts
Apparently these Senior Developers and Infrastructure Experts do a lot of pimping.
Too funny. Been looking for ya. Figured you were the helping kind of guy.
If anyone wants to donate and make sure their $$ all go to the victims the Humanitarian Aid through the LDS church 100% goes.
If you want another fun site check out my Quest of Questions. It's no Casual Friday, but some people seems to like it.
http://questofquestions.blogspot.com/
I also have other blogs under my profile if you want to check out the others.
I love word ver-it blocks spammers.
If anyone wants pics of Katrina go to .http://clikpics4u.blogspot.com/
thanks for the shout out, and I'm hardly behind the rename!
I love the new name for the hurricae. "That Fucker" It rocks! I try to advoid watching the news as much as possible. I feel bad for all the victims, and I have been donating items and money,but I can't watch it anymore. It's sad.
so your ok with wiping your ass with your shirt at home.
that fucker sure was a sumbitch! oh wait, were we talkin' about Katrina or George W?
have you ever smashed a tortilla chip and right after tried to reconstruct it because you felt sad?
Or Trade some one the ability to punch you in the stomach for the chance to see them lick the ink from a sharpie marker.
Have you ever stolen my wallet? dont think so!
Nice blog dude, your the king of blogsville.
I stumbled across your blog when I started my own. Yours is much better than mine. I check everyday from Australia! Keep on truckin.
Now, if you were in public with a good friend and you noticed that he had some smeared dookie on his shirt, are you gonna tell him? Would you be less likely to tell your friend if she were a woman? You've made me think about this and I'll be prepared... By the way, did you say something to the guy in line?
Great stuff - I now have something else to be deftly afraid of . . . as if there weren't too many fears bouncing around in my head already.
Ben O.
poop on your shirt definitely beats leaving your zipper unzipped. In fact, it makes leaving your zipper unzipped seem like a good idea.
zwqxbgmh - isn't this a bit excessive?
Haven't been by in a while.. just had to make sure you still sucked ass.
Ha ha.. no. I'm lying.
"That fucker".. yes, very clever.
Bum's can totally be hilarious...once this homeless dude told me he was going to get a hystorectomy in sing-song.
Personally, I have been interchanging "Katrina" with "That Bastard."
My alpha-Bits Spelled out OOOOOO!
Oh wait that was Cheerios.
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