Friday, September 09, 2005

Highlights of My Day

1. Stood behind a guy who either shit his pants, or didn't know his shirt was in the way when he was wiping off his ass
2. Discovered my newest fear: not knowing my shirt got in the way while wiping my ass at work
3. Saw a bum pretend there was an earthquake happening when a large woman walked past him, it was then that I realized; bums can be entertaining even when their not pissing in the middle of a busy street
4. Tried to order a fat-free thick burger at Carl's Junior (Hardees)
5. Nominated the next hurricane to be named hurricane "That Fucker"
6. Spent the rest of my afternoon watching CNN and replacing "Katrina" with "That Fucker"
-There's no telling how many people have been affected by That Fucker
-White House officials are being blamed for the choas That Fucker left behind
-Well as you can see Bob, That Fucker just came roaring right through this entire city
-One thing is for certain; That Fucker will cost the American tax payers billions
7. Was glad to see that hidden camera I installed in my room is being put to good use
8. Tried to find on job on Monster.com using "pimp" as my keyword
9. Louie Anderson was spelled out in my bowl of Alphabet Soup
10. Robbed a gas station to pay for my gas

69 Comments:

Blogger immixmarketer said...

Sorry for the lack of material this week...been doing my best to help the relief efforts.
-please give what you can-

September 08, 2005 8:53 PM  
Blogger Chad said...

Sure have been feenin for day's highlights but I suppose relief for that fucker is well worthwhile.. Got my Friday fix...

September 08, 2005 9:01 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Totally suport your efforts to name the next hurricane ..LOL

September 08, 2005 9:20 PM  
Blogger Chowmein Mao said...

Love the site man, I check it every friday... I didn't actually realize how pathetic that sounds until I wrote it out just then. Oh, well, keep up the good work!

September 08, 2005 9:33 PM  
Blogger AKH said...

chowmein mao,
Well at least you don't check it everyday several times a day. Now that's pitiful.

I wish I could do more for the relief efforts. Anyone want to car pool from Chicago down to the Gulf Coast. I've got the time with my unemployed self, but I just don't have the gas money.

Damn THAT FUCKER!

September 08, 2005 9:57 PM  
Blogger msbrooksie said...

My son asked me to take him to the dollar store today. He wanted to spend his allowence he gets to buy things for them.

Arizona took in some of the victims here and I told him what ever he got I would match.

I took him to wal-mart and we caught abunch of personal items. We both agress you can wear the same shirt for a few day but not the same underwear.

We got some for women, girls, men and boys and little babies.

I was so proud of him! He is the best a mom could ask for!

Glad your back!
Brooksie

September 08, 2005 10:05 PM  
Blogger used*to*be*me* said...

Dude, nice to hear from you. I've been donating and avoiding the news.

September 08, 2005 10:40 PM  
Blogger LBseahag said...

You make a cameo apperance in my blog about carnies...come visit. i owe it all to you.

September 08, 2005 11:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

man, that shirt in the way of your ass thing is so nasty! LMAO

September 09, 2005 12:17 AM  
Blogger -RM said...

your new fear is my new fear.....Homeless people bring such joy to all of us :D. loved the hidden camera, and how did the 'pimp' search go?

September 09, 2005 2:40 AM  
Blogger Spinning Girl said...

My new fear: Coming out of the bathroom & walking halfway down a hall full of 8th graders with my dress tucked into the back of my panty hose.

September 09, 2005 2:56 AM  
Blogger Fridaysweb said...

My new fear: someone finding out that *I* check this place everyday. Several times a day. And that Spinning Girl will quit posting all over blogland.

my word ver. jeirc. While I realize it could say "jerk", I see geriatric research center for the IRC challenged.

September 09, 2005 4:36 AM  
Blogger Pete Mitchell said...

Loved the robbing gas station idea. Maybe you could start a social revolution.

And good to see you're back. Was forced to rely on watching bums for entertainment for the past week.

September 09, 2005 5:05 AM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

Whew! I am glad for somthing to make me laugh today. You have a good excuess for not posting tho....

September 09, 2005 6:29 AM  
Blogger DaMasta said...

In high school a group of us girls would scream "HE'LL EAT US!" when a fat guy walked by us.

My new fear is being caught using company time to blog.

People who were stuck in That Fucker still haven't taken a shower. My friends who went to the Astrodome on Tuesday said it reeked to high heaven.


word ver - "egdyr" - Egg Dyer, that kit you buy at the dollar store the night before Easter to color the eggs, and that piece of shit falls apart and stains your counter red, blue, green and yellow.

September 09, 2005 6:36 AM  
Blogger Candee said...

The Astrodome probably will never recover from thousands of people forced to deficate where they slept..
Kinda like the Homeless you forementioned. I think it's sad to see our government fail on so many levels, starting with city and local who did not do near what they should have to prepare for this tragedy. Man, sorry for the vent, just needed to say my part!

September 09, 2005 7:11 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

try "mangina", see what happens...

man, that fucker sure is making bush look like a fucker - wait, he already does! (sorry, i'm canadian)

September 09, 2005 7:22 AM  
Blogger SeaKitty said...

you watch jon stewart?

September 09, 2005 7:28 AM  
Blogger Bethany said...

you make my fridays!! :)

September 09, 2005 8:01 AM  
Blogger DaMasta said...

NO NO...The Superdome (in NO,LA) is where they had to shit and sleep in the same spot. The Astrodome is in Houston, and it has working showers and restrooms, and the victims still didn't use them!

September 09, 2005 8:41 AM  
Blogger DaMasta said...

But I agree with you Candee, every part of this disaster was handled incorrectly. From local govn't in LA to federals to local govn't here in TX. It's all screwed up for everyone involved. And when do the refugees see the money given to the red cross?

September 09, 2005 8:44 AM  
Blogger Mary said...

I support you in the name change. They should all be named things like that, "Crappy Bastard", "That Fucker", "Damn Jackass" :)

September 09, 2005 8:55 AM  
Blogger Kerri said...

I love how you can make something so serious and devastating as Katrina into something to hilarious! And pantomiming bums are cool... though some might be scary.

September 09, 2005 9:45 AM  
Blogger carrotpenis said...

Could you also put "That Sonofabitch" into the running. "That Sonofabitch nearly wiped the whole town out!"

September 09, 2005 10:23 AM  
Blogger The Megan said...

Geez, it's about dang time... I was having casual friday withdrawel... =)
Glad you're back, and kudos on support w/ the hurricane relief - I am confident your hurricane relief efforts will be just beneficial and appreciated as your comic relief efforts... keep up the good work!!

September 09, 2005 10:31 AM  
Blogger Curious1 said...

Yeah man I actually once posted available jobs on Monster for pimps but they rejected the offer...

September 09, 2005 10:55 AM  
Blogger Curious1 said...

It's all good baby!!! I once offered a guy some toilet paper cuz he smelled like Shiite

September 09, 2005 10:57 AM  
Blogger Steve-o said...

It's nice to hear that people are helping. Glad to see you back as well. Great post.

September 09, 2005 12:23 PM  
Blogger Monica said...

Thank God your back!

In KC, our homeless guys walk around cussing out no one. You should try it. It flips people out.

I think the people in the Astrodome are afraid someone will take their cot. Kudos on the relief efforts.

And finally, my cube smells like burning wires today. That can't be good.

September 09, 2005 12:24 PM  
Blogger Earl Jenkin™ said...

Katrina is the love of my life, I liked her when she swept thru Florida and I totally fell in love with her after she plowed thru those other shit hole states. I miss her.

September 09, 2005 12:57 PM  
Blogger austinizer said...

Hava nagila hava nagila!

September 09, 2005 1:09 PM  
Blogger kudos the kung fu fighter said...

damn that fucker....

September 09, 2005 1:17 PM  
Blogger LilTanLines said...

So glad you are helping those who were affected by That Fucker! :) Keep up the good work!

September 09, 2005 2:09 PM  
Blogger FU said...

Ahh... so that's where u were. Good boi for helping with That FUcker.

i really hate CNN tho...

September 09, 2005 2:35 PM  
Blogger ~The Goofy Ass Chick said...

Hmn, when I watched the news tonight I secretly said to myself "The Fucker" everytime they said Katrina. It made watching the news a little more fun through all the devastation. Maybe this should be a new drinking game as well. Drunk CNN! :-)

P.S. Glad you're back and yes every citizen in this country should do their part to help.

September 09, 2005 5:44 PM  
Blogger Jules Babe said...

I am soo glad you are back!

September 09, 2005 6:50 PM  
Blogger blair said...

Cheers Mate! You done good. Love the gas station robbing bit! They have certainly been robbing us!!

September 09, 2005 7:39 PM  
Blogger Zepplinlady said...

Please don't tell me you ate Louie Anderson. Say it isn't so...
Enjoyed your list today and look forward to more.

BTW if you wear a brown shirt, you won't have to worry, right?

September 09, 2005 8:25 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

September 09, 2005 10:47 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

September 09, 2005 10:49 PM  
Blogger John Bryson said...

Is there any way I can get these twins who posted just above me to sit on my face simultaneously?

September 10, 2005 1:59 AM  
Blogger BadGod said...

That, Mad Hatter, was the funniest thing ever on this blog.

Good shit!

September 10, 2005 5:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

it's they're, not their... ugh...

September 10, 2005 6:29 AM  
Blogger ~*Bettie said...

Brian lives!!!!

OSU is up 16-10 against Texas!!

GO BUCKS!!!

(Is that tape gonna be on eBay. . . just curious. . . .)


Oh, and I added new linx. . . check'em out,

September 10, 2005 6:47 PM  
Blogger Chesty said...

Was behind a couple of women in Walmart tonight - said they were refugees (or whatever word we're supposed to use) from That Effer.

They paid with a hurrican relief card.
Put the card back into a Gucci wallet.
Put the Wallet into a Coach Purse.

We have another hurricane heading towards (in North Myrtle Beach) now - hope they're not made homeless again.

September 10, 2005 11:21 PM  
Blogger purplesimon said...

Your first point reminded me of an old fat friend who lost loads of weight and consequently had lots of flappy skin on his butt.

Needless to say, he wiped but the paper stayed clean.

Stupidly, he told me about it. I share it with you.

purplesimon out...

September 11, 2005 7:32 AM  
Blogger Mad Munkey said...

All funny except the gas one... Sorry.

p.s. Word Verification Sux.

September 11, 2005 12:22 PM  
Blogger Zanderlilly said...

I haven't been around in a while, and came back for a visit. I'm so glad I did. You're still killin me man!!

September 11, 2005 12:44 PM  
Blogger J. Hi said...

The gas one was the funniest of them all. I am sure Louie Anderson would think so too.

Glad you are back, Friday Guy.

September 11, 2005 1:21 PM  
Blogger Teacher George said...

Went to Monster.com and searched for "pimp" as keyword.

There is a position open in:
IT Makeover ™, Casting Call for Senior Developers/Infrastructure Experts

Apparently these Senior Developers and Infrastructure Experts do a lot of pimping.

September 11, 2005 3:07 PM  
Blogger Trixie said...

Too funny. Been looking for ya. Figured you were the helping kind of guy.

If anyone wants to donate and make sure their $$ all go to the victims the Humanitarian Aid through the LDS church 100% goes.

If you want another fun site check out my Quest of Questions. It's no Casual Friday, but some people seems to like it.

http://questofquestions.blogspot.com/

I also have other blogs under my profile if you want to check out the others.

I love word ver-it blocks spammers.

If anyone wants pics of Katrina go to .http://clikpics4u.blogspot.com/

September 11, 2005 7:50 PM  
Blogger Erika said...

thanks for the shout out, and I'm hardly behind the rename!

September 12, 2005 7:12 AM  
Blogger Pokey said...

I love the new name for the hurricae. "That Fucker" It rocks! I try to advoid watching the news as much as possible. I feel bad for all the victims, and I have been donating items and money,but I can't watch it anymore. It's sad.

September 12, 2005 1:57 PM  
Blogger Johnny Menace said...

so your ok with wiping your ass with your shirt at home.

September 12, 2005 4:53 PM  
Blogger Little Miss said...

that fucker sure was a sumbitch! oh wait, were we talkin' about Katrina or George W?

September 12, 2005 6:49 PM  
Blogger Coz said...

have you ever smashed a tortilla chip and right after tried to reconstruct it because you felt sad?

Or Trade some one the ability to punch you in the stomach for the chance to see them lick the ink from a sharpie marker.

Have you ever stolen my wallet? dont think so!

Nice blog dude, your the king of blogsville.

September 12, 2005 7:50 PM  
Blogger CrazyBandGeek said...

So i just remembered this story when my siss bf was working at target and a bum came in and started to try on some clothes. When he was about to leave my siss bf noticed something had fallen out of his pants. After they guy left he had to clean it up. Turned out it was a piece of shit. Yup bum came in to target, took a shit on the floor, and then left. My siss bf had fun clenaing that up.

September 12, 2005 8:54 PM  
Anonymous Andrea said...

I stumbled across your blog when I started my own. Yours is much better than mine. I check everyday from Australia! Keep on truckin.

September 12, 2005 11:49 PM  
Blogger Publisher, The Whited News said...

Now, if you were in public with a good friend and you noticed that he had some smeared dookie on his shirt, are you gonna tell him? Would you be less likely to tell your friend if she were a woman? You've made me think about this and I'll be prepared... By the way, did you say something to the guy in line?

September 13, 2005 5:37 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Great stuff - I now have something else to be deftly afraid of . . . as if there weren't too many fears bouncing around in my head already.

Ben O.

September 13, 2005 10:04 AM  
Blogger babyjewels said...

poop on your shirt definitely beats leaving your zipper unzipped. In fact, it makes leaving your zipper unzipped seem like a good idea.

zwqxbgmh - isn't this a bit excessive?

September 13, 2005 2:34 PM  
Blogger Lake Allison said...

Haven't been by in a while.. just had to make sure you still sucked ass.

Ha ha.. no. I'm lying.

"That fucker".. yes, very clever.

September 13, 2005 8:10 PM  
Blogger dreadcow said...

Thanks for keeping me entertained on those days when my roommate smells like poopy-smelly-un-wiped-shirt-guy.

September 13, 2005 10:51 PM  
Blogger allison said...

just looking at the fat free thick burger clogged my arteries

September 14, 2005 12:31 PM  
Blogger Camy Leon said...

LOL!!!!!

that's all I got.

September 14, 2005 5:59 PM  
Blogger Josie said...

Wow - You have the most interesting sense of humour! Its an interesting mind that could come up with the shirt fear!

September 15, 2005 3:01 PM  
Anonymous Wendy O said...

Bum's can totally be hilarious...once this homeless dude told me he was going to get a hystorectomy in sing-song.
Personally, I have been interchanging "Katrina" with "That Bastard."

September 15, 2005 7:16 PM  
Blogger Michele's Mumblings said...

My alpha-Bits Spelled out OOOOOO!

Oh wait that was Cheerios.

September 21, 2005 5:58 PM  
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