Highlights of My Day
1. Had a wordrobe malfunction
2. Located the manufacturer of the Cosby family's sweaters
3. Decided Martin Lawrence's new movie "Rebound" should have been titled "Damn Gina!"
4. Talked to Jesus...Jesus Gonzales, my mom's lawn guy
5. Had a fart that smelled like Italian beef sprinkled with saw dust
6. My new goal in life is to become the next Oxi-Clean spokesman
7. Sent an e-mail to Paulie Shore just to see if he is desperate enough to reply
8. Became suspicious of an old lady at Lowes who was buying the needed materials to make a beer bong
9. Invited myself to her house later on tonight
10. Realized how much of a sell out Bruce Bruce has become
2. Located the manufacturer of the Cosby family's sweaters
3. Decided Martin Lawrence's new movie "Rebound" should have been titled "Damn Gina!"
4. Talked to Jesus...Jesus Gonzales, my mom's lawn guy
5. Had a fart that smelled like Italian beef sprinkled with saw dust
6. My new goal in life is to become the next Oxi-Clean spokesman
7. Sent an e-mail to Paulie Shore just to see if he is desperate enough to reply
8. Became suspicious of an old lady at Lowes who was buying the needed materials to make a beer bong
9. Invited myself to her house later on tonight
10. Realized how much of a sell out Bruce Bruce has become
posted by immixmarketer at 11:48 PM
27 Comments:
Paulie Shore is too stupid to realized he should be desperate. Don't wait for an email.
Hey Brian!
What exactly did this "wardrobe malfunction" entail.... and would the ladies have enjoyed it?
-Rach-
Oh, and let me know how the kegger with the old lady went....
You should ask Jesus about HIS bong. Actually, Jesus probably doesn't use a water pipe, but I bet he rolls a meanass joint with his mota.
Glad you 86'd Conan, but still miss your old pic.
And the contest-game??? I'm still waiting......Or did you just want to get me all excited?
The Oxi-Clean guy is busier than Kelly Ripa these days. Every time I turn around, he's screaming about some other miracle product. Today it was some type of hair trimmer. I guess I should stop turning around.
Whew.... saved me from going to see the Martin movie.... Isn't Paulie "busy" with a new show?
Did the old lady have one of those old roach clips hanging from her ear lobe as an "earring?"
That old lady was my Mom! :)
I use to work at Home Depot and they showed us how to make a bong just in case we saw people buying the supplies and we could offer them advice.
pauly shore...i have to give the guy credit, he made the most out of his MTV time. oh, bruce springsteen...used to love that guy until he got on the polical bandwagon. rachel, you look hot, whats your story?
i actually watched the movie "son in law" with paulie this weekend...what's the world coming to?
brian...i'm not sure what your profession is but you need to be doing stand up! this is some great material.
Wow, you are actually funny! So am I, but I just started my site, so like 2 people have gone 2 it.
Wardrobe malfunction, huh?
I'll have you nekked by the end of this blog! :)
Wardrobe malfunctions are more interesting when they occur to Janet Jackson, but I still curious to hear the story since it probably is funny.
Be worried if Pauly Shore calls you in for a casting call. I don't trust that guy.
Deliberate Chaos
I laughed out loud when you made the comments aboout "adults who read Harry Potter books," Looking at all the profiles of the people who love your Blogs, most ARE the "adults who read Harry Potter books!" Too Funny!
So...the wardrobe malfuncion...
I take it everyone is familiar with boxer-briefs? Well, I am a huge fan. Anyhow, the inventor of boxer-briefs decided during the breeding of boxers with briefs, the genome of the brief's front flap must have had the dominant gene, and thus the front flap showed up on boxer-briefs...
At some point in the middle of the night, my cock decided to explore its way through the front flap. Whether the exploration was assisted by the hand of either myself or my sleeping mate, is yet to me determined, however I can say that my cock decided to call it quits before returning back to the shelter of my boxer-briefs, and thus when I exited my bed in the morning, a wardrobe malfunction had occurred.
Can Jesus the lawn guy turn hose water into wine?
You're slowing down. You got yourself into a mess with daily updates. I'm a M/W/F guy myself.
I think making lists is the hardest thing to do, and you consistently do it well. So it isn't that big of a deal if you take a few days off.
Or maybe you died. My regrets if this is the case.
Blake
I preferred the blank post.
Leah, I too am computer illiterate and can't quite figure out yet how to post a pic on my profile. No worries.
Daddy, how about a cyber-salad? Nicely tossed ...Kisses!
Brian, sleep naked...
...and glad your hot, little picture is back in action.
i really like your theme. It makes me laugh...My goal in life is to become a Coyote at the Coyote Ugly bar. At least our goals are cool!
you are hilarious
*moan*
So how's Paulie doing these days? I'm amazed he hasn't set up a blog about what it's like to be formerly famous.
I love coogie sweaters!
Clah...that pic is delicious.
did you have the wardrobe malfunction in the Cosby sweater? 'Cause THAT would make for must see TV
My farts today smell like bok choy sprinkled with diesel fumes.
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